But he doesn't know how friendly they truly are because he hasn't interacted with her outside of a context where she's paid to be niceThis... seems like such a jump. If OP actually "kindled a friendship" with the person, why wouldn't he add her? I mean, that's me taking his post at face value, but it just seems weird to be bothered by a friend adding you on a social platform.
The biggest take away from this thread should be: Please respect people working in the services industry. If you want to conceive
thank god you discovered this organically rather than origamically.
As someone who likes origami let me say this: no girl has been impressed by an origami gift ever.
Responses to this thread are about as bad as the idea of asking someone out at their place of work. People go right for the jugular telling the dude he's a creep and making it a shame-thread. Fat shaming doesn't work and this doesn't either. If you want to further contribute to making shy awkward people into incel alt-right assholes then carry on...
Just give her the trophy you kept from your last victim, if you can bear to part with it.
Don't ask a customer service person on a date at their workplace. Thanks.
do not agree with this. They have a friendship of some kind so thatbis even better.
Shoot ya shot OP!
He did, they were such close friends he didn't know she had a boyfriend... he does now though.
She was working the register today when I came through. I only asked her if she had any fun weekend plans. She got pretty excited and started telling me about a hike and camping spot she is visiting with her boyfriend..
My response was basically like "oh that sounds awesome, I hope you have a good time!" (inside I was kicking myself but thanking the gods I didn't bring origami)
Then she asked "What about you?" and my response was a bit of a mess I think lol. I said I was gonna relax and play some video games (sigh) I guess I could have mentioned I'm learning origami too, but oh well.. she's taken, that's that
Silver lining, I was able to discover this organically and without making her uncomfortable I assume
I do not agree with this. They have a friendship of some kind so thatbis even better.
I get service folks are paid to be nice but in working in retail for years I saw it all the time and never gave it a second thought. Sometimes they say no but just as often if they are single and the person asking is attractive, they say yes. Doesnt seem like a big deal.
No. No. No. No, that's not how this works. The OP claims he has "kindled a bit of a friendship" with the cashier, but they are not friends. They have never spent any time together outside of her customer service role. They have never had a conversation where she wasn't being paid to be nice to him. He didn't even know she had a boyfriend already.
I recommend you guys read this post for an example of how wildly out of control these situations can get when a man mistakes basic human interaction with a retail serviceperson as flirting. Now, I'm not saying the OP would do something like this...but we don't know. We don't have any idea who he is, and more importantly, neither does the girl he's talking to. "Excuse me, can I speak to a manager, the girl on checkout 5 was very rude to me just now..."
The ground rules here really aren't hard. Don't ask people on dates in situations where they're physically stuck with you. Don't ask people on dates in places where there are no witnesses around, like empty parking lots. Don't ask people on dates in situations where their job and livelihood depends on making you happy. This shouldn't be difficult. But of course it becomes difficult because every Stalker Sammy has a story about how his brother's friend asked out a girl at Starbucks and she said yes so maybe it'll work for him too. That's how stalkers operate; the slightest bit of "hope," even if it has nothing to do with their particular situation, is enough to keep them going even when all available evidence says the person is not interested or has even told them such repeatedly.
Oh, and...
"Be attractive, don't be unattractive." Yeah, no shit. People are more willing to say yes if a person they're actually attracted to asks them out. Thanks for this bold scientific inquiry. The problem is that because you have no idea if the other person finds you attractive, you should not be asking them out in a situation where it is potentially unsafe for them to say no.
While I get what you're saying in the last paragraph, it is filled with ifs and fears and snark but I get it. I'm a dinosaur. The world moves on.
Should've said 'lucky guy' when she mentioned boyfriend. Don't have to explain why you said just move the convo forward happily while planting a seed, clearly, that you are interested.
This part cannot be driven home hard enough. Particularly in a retail environment, people tend to get this idea that if the associate they're dealing with is nice to them, they're friends. Or their available. Or they're dropping hints that they're attracted to you... Wait until you've had some sort of interaction with them outside of a place where they're trapped in a perpetual state of needing to be positive and friendly for the sake of their paycheck before you go assuming anything about your chances with a person.The problem is that because you have no idea if the other person finds you attractive, you should not be asking them out in a situation where it is potentially unsafe for them to say no.
Ok, now that one is creepy. The origami thing is looking more and more charming by the minute.Should've said 'lucky guy' when she mentioned boyfriend. Don't have to explain why you said just move the convo forward happily while planting a seed, clearly, that you are interested.
Yes. Just don't make it the crux of the interaction. Say it with confidence and don't make it a big deal (because it's not). You can mask it with an anecdote about camping/outdoors and still let her know.
Yes. Just don't make it the crux of the interaction. Say it with confidence and don't make it a big deal (because it's not). You can mask it with an anecdote about camping/outdoors and still let her know.
the mental gymnastics here is amazingYes. Just don't make it the crux of the interaction. Say it with confidence and don't make it a big deal (because it's not). You can mask it with an anecdote about camping/outdoors and still let her know.
In case they break up, then he can be the rebound! Duh!She is taken. She told him she's taken. Why does he need to let her know he's interested anyway?
now we're getting a sequel tease to the horrorshow tho
She is taken. She told him she's taken. Why does he need to let her know he's interested anyway?
Being respectful would actually involve respecting her unavailability, not lining up to be her next lay.Phew. He doesn't have to. If he wants to, that's his choice. Just do so respectively.
Phew. He doesn't have to. If he wants to, that's his choice. Just do so respectively.
Lol! Godspead Emergency & I. Godspeed.Should've said 'lucky guy' when she mentioned boyfriend. Don't have to explain why you said just move the convo forward happily while planting a seed, clearly, that you are interested.
A charismatic, socially adept person could pull this off.Yes. Just don't make it the crux of the interaction. Say it with confidence and don't make it a big deal (because it's not). You can mask it with an anecdote about camping/outdoors and still let her know.
Should've said 'lucky guy' when she mentioned boyfriend. Don't have to explain why you said just move the convo forward happily while planting a seed, clearly, that you are interested.
Dude you're a fucking creepPhew. He doesn't have to. If he wants to, that's his choice. Just do so respectively.
Well said. There are some embarrassing comments in this thread.Fucking yikes. OP just came in here looking for some advice he got a well deserved roasting but look it's no big deal to ask out a woman at any location( unless maybe a funeral). As long as you are perfectly respectful and if she says no take that rejection with grace. Good lord people need to realize that there are other avenues than Tinder to meet a new partner.
Hard disagree.Well said. There are some embarrassing comments in this thread.
Nothing wrong with asking a girl out at her place of work, especially if you get along. Just be a little subtle about it. The origami is done weird shit though.
Well said. There are some embarrassing comments in this thread.
Nothing wrong with asking a girl out at her place of work, especially if you get along. Just be a little subtle about it. The origami is done weird shit though.