Has anyone here ever successfully packed up and started life somewhere new?

[Deleted member 198]

Without going too far into my personal life, I've more or less made zero to little progress in my goals, even though I'm only 23. So a part of me feels like the only way I can move forward and out of the "comfort zone" is to quite literally remove myself from the current environment to begin with.

it's something I've put a lot of thought into, and have thought about for a year or two now, weighing the various options, but at the end of the day I always come back to the idea that in my current environment, I am not able to thrive or grow in the ways I wish to.

So, I'm asking the question if anyone has ever felt a similar way, and how that went, if it was successful, or any other options to explore.

For example I would be considering moving from the Metro Detroit area of Michigan to probably somewhere off the coast in Washington.

 

[Dr. Feel Good]

Multiple times. But you need to have a plan on what you will get out of such move otherwise you'll just be in the same place but with different surroundings.

 

[Deleted member 198]

Multiple times. But you need to have a plan on what you will get out of such move otherwise you'll just be in the same place but with different surroundings.

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And that is something I'm working on, I don't plan to get up and leave until at least mid 2021 (thanks to a car lease), but ideally I'd like to be able to grow to where I don't fall back into old habits or lean on the same crutches.

 

[Deleted member 21709]

Yes, left everything behind and started a new life on the other side of the world.

 

[Jakenbakin]

I've packed up and tried to start somewhere new a couple of times. It didn't change anything because I was the same. I hope to try it again one day but only if I'm better.

 

[Deleted member 198]

Yes, left everything behind and started a new life on the other side of the world.

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And how did that go?

 

[Deleted member 4367]

Of course! Best thing I've ever done. Decided in September, moved in November cross country. Young, no responsibilities, perfect time for risky business!

 

[shnurgleton]

I've packed up and tried to start somewhere new a couple of times. It didn't change anything because I was the same. I hope to try it again one day but only if I'm better.

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Wherever you go, there you are

I also have packed up and moved a few times in my life, and if anything the loneliness made me fall even deeper into my worst habits. Eventually I moved back to my home state and have been thriving since. Even so, I don't regret my time away (with the exception of almost 3 years in Wisconsin. Fuck that state), because I grew from those experiences

 

[Rei Toei]

Eh, kinda? Stored all my shit at my dad's attic after graduating, travelled around for a couple months, returned home, took a train to a new city, couchsurfed a bit at friends places till I had a job and could rent a room somewhere. Took it from there. Turned out great, still live in the same region, tho I still kinda miss the area I came from and went to uni. Rebuilding social life took some effort but in the end worked out well.

 

[Deleted member 4367]

You have to have a goal with your big move. The move itself is unlikely to solve the problems in your life. There has to be something about the move that will change something that has a good chance of making things better.

For me it was job opportunities. And to get the hell out of Florida.

 

[Viewt]

Yes. I bought a one way plane ticket to Chicago with no job and not much in the way of savings. After applying non stop, something came through the day before I was supposed to leave and after a rocky year, I was stable. That was 2013 and since then my career has blossomed, I met the person who's become my wife, and I'll likely be buying a home next year.

 

[Deleted member 198]

You have to have a goal with your big move. The move itself is unlikely to solve the problems in your life. There has to be something about the move that will change something that has a good chance of making things better.

For me it was job opportunities. And to get the hell out of Florida.

Click to shrink...

Job opportunities are a part of it, even with the progress the Detroit area has made, a lot of the jobs here are still not in the direction I want to head in.

 

[Starviper]

You have to have a goal with your big move. The move itself is unlikely to solve the problems in your life. There has to be something about the move that will change something that has a good chance of making things better.

For me it was job opportunities. And to get the hell out of Florida.

Click to shrink...

100% this. I've often thought about moving someplace but without something that'll keep you busy or engaged wherever you end up you'll be back in the same boat or worse. Ideally i'd only move somewhere where I have a job lined up and some sort of compensation to cover costs. It's not easy to pack all your stuff up and move when you gotta consider your belongings and multiple vehicles. A service that'll help you with the move alleviates some of that but they can be thousands depending on what you're bringing.

Can also sell your stuff and start fresh but that's not entirely ideal for most.

 

[whatsarobot]

Ya you really can't do it too soon. Early and mid twenties are a good time to make new friends and have the financial and social freedom to build a new life. Go for it, but don't delay too long.

 

[Monsterqken]

I've changed country four times. I'm super introvert but practiced until I became a friendmaking monster.
Consider socializing a second full time job when you move. Hardest part is when relatives end up in the hospital and you can't visit.

Work has been easy for me but that comes down to education/skills.

 

[WedgeX]

Twice, I guess? First I left the Detroit area for mid-Michigan for a job. Then I left mi-Michigan for DC for my spouse but without a job. Worked both times, but everyone is looking for people in social work. And I managed to find friends both times, somehow.

 

[GKSilKamina]

I'm actually about to do it myself. Ditching Florida in about three weeks to start over in North Carolina. I already have a job lined up so that's a small relief.

I'll let you know how it goes.

 

[Necromanti]

Starting over socially can be kind of exhausting, but I've gotten used to it. January was certainy an...interesting time for me to start a new job in a new country. I feel like my first "real" year here has been delayed until next year.

Anyway, I've done it a few times without it ever really being my goal, but I've never really had a "home" to begin with.

 

[TheRightDeal]

Moved from the suburbs of Washington to Minneapolis for a gig and it's one of the best decisions I ever made. I ended up losing the gig I moved for a few years in but have chosen to stay here anyway because I love it so much, I feel like I made huge strides in every aspect of my life by putting myself out there.

 

[Deleted member 2317]

Yes, and it's extremely freeing and gratifying! That's not to imply that it's easy "leaping into the unknown" but it's a very large and beautiful world out there, no reason to be miserable in one place!

Listen to Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" on repeat if you need inspiration.

 

[Zonar]

Yes, I moved from Detroit to a suburb in the Phoenix area at 25. It was great for me.

 

[Deleted member 198]

Yes, I moved from Detroit to a suburb in the Phoenix area at 25. It was great for me.

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Why Phoenix? (Assuming you just didn't want to deal with winter anymore)

 

[Deleted member 21709]

And how did that go?

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I'm very fortunate and grateful, it changed everything for the better.

 

[Zonar]

Why Phoenix? (Assuming you just didn't want to deal with winter anymore)

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While I absolutely hate cold weather, The short answer is I saw a Commercial. The long answer is, I had just graduated from college but I was still hanging out in the hood. Me and my friends were doing the exact same dumb shit we did when I was in high school but now the only difference is I owed $60,000. I saw a commercial for game design for School in Phoenix and I thought "fuck it. I don't have any kids I need to get out of here. Worst case scenario I can always move back." Within a month of seeing that commercial I packed up all my stuff into a very small hitch, I left everybody I knew. I got to an apartment over the internet and went to a job fair the next day. I got a job as a telemarketer and been there almost ever since. I now make over six figures as an art director. It is true that wherever you go there you are but it really helped that I change my environment.

 

[Violence Jack]

Yep. I decided one day that my girlfriend and I wanted out of our current situation badly enough for me to put in for a job transfer and move across the country on a whim. It was the best decision we ever made for the goals we had. That was 4 years ago.

 

[Deleted member 3542]

I did after college. Got the hell out of Oklahoma and moved to LA. Nothing lined up. Didn't really know anyone. Just did it. And now...I'm on ERA, baby! So much progress.

 

[GYODX]

Yeah. My wife and I were born and raised in Puerto Rico and we moved to Maryland for a job opportunity. Quite a change in scenario! It hasn't been easy, but overall it's been a great experience.

We'd probably do the same thing all over again if a better job opportunity were to present itself elsewhere. I think it's important to stay agile and flexible.

 

[Pikachu]

Graduated college, lived at home jobless for a year, got a random job in a city I had never even visited before and moved there in two weeks notice. Was there a year, generally alone, before getting a job in my college city.

 

[Deleted member 13496]

A bunch of times. It's not nearly as difficult or scary as people make it out to be. Especially if you're 23.

Go do a season or get a work visa or something, it'll do wonders for your life satisfaction.

 

[Gwarm]

Sure, about three times since entering my working career. It can be difficult and exhilarating. You just need to make sure you have a plan, a job, a place to live, and an exit strategy if things go bad.

 

[OG YOLOwen]

Man, I needed this thread. I'm the same age and in a similar situation as you OP.

I wanna pursue acting and live in LA. That's really what I want to do with my youth. I just get way too scared and start second guessing.

Plus this is such a shitty time to try to plan a move lol.

 

[Piston]

I've moved multiple times but it has been due to my company moving me, so it has generally not been a choice... but I have a job lined up for stability.

My recommendation would be to try to land a means of living before moving. Join activities if you want to make friends. Explore your new area, it's amazing how you get somewhere and don't even do the major touristy attractions until a friend comes into town or something.

Hopefully COVID is over if you get there in mid-2021.

 

[Deleted member 198]

Man, I needed this thread. I'm the same age and in a similar situation as you OP.

I wanna pursue acting and live in LA. That's really what I want to do with my youth. I just get way too scared and start second guessing.

Plus this is such a shitty time to try to plan a move lol.

Click to shrink...

It is, but any theoretical changes I make won't be until mid next year at the earliest.

 

[Pineapple Taco]

I moved from my home in Arizona to Houston because my job prospects were trash and I wasn't making much or happy with my work. I lived with my best friend and his family for six months. I got to break into the non-profit field, ended up with my own place in a nice part of town. Eventually met my wife and we live in Seattle now.

It can be done, but I wouldn't have been able to do it without such a great support system.

Anecdotally, my friend got me hooked up with GAF, which led me here during the purge.

 

[Galaxea]

I'm plotting doing that next year with my wife and child. I'm thinking Colorado since most of our friends have transitioned there. I just need to commit to it and make a year plan. I definitely want to do it before my daughter is old enough to start school.

Edit: We live in Florida and hate everything about it besides family. So, it's kind of necessary for our sanity.

 

[FrsDvl]

Packed a suitcase with clothes when I was 19, jumped on a plane to Canada, and I'm now 30 and still in Canada.

 

[Kinketsu]

Yes, several times. I moved from the UK to Japan when I was the same age as you, didnt speak the language or know anyone there. I then moved to Vancouver, Canada without a job or a place to live for a while and a few years later went back to a totally different part of Japan and then moved to yet another different part of Japan six years ago. Apart from meeting my wife along the way the best thing was gaining confidence that I could make things work anywhere and wasnt stuck anywhere. That second part is maybe less so the case now that I have a family, so if you are thinking of it, now is probably the time! That being said, although I have some good friends from where I grew up, social circles and such have never really meant very much to me so your mileage might vary there.

 

[Jesse_and_the_rippers]

When in doubt, change zip codes.

Moved from Baltimore to a small puget sound town eleven years ago, and have zero regrets.

 

[coldzone24]

Yup. I was having a bad couple of months so on a whim I applied to job in the Netherlands, a country I had never even visited before, and to my shock they actually responded. Two months later I was packing up and moving. I've been here almost 6 months now and despite all that's been going on in the world, I couldn't be happier!

However, you should actually plan ahead unlike me. I got very, very lucky that it has worked out as well as it has.

 

[Lost Knight]

My family came from Iraq into America in the 80s and started a new life here. I became a business owner after being an office worker for years.

Yes, it's possible.

 

[Torpedo Vegas]

I'm currently working on going from Kentucky to Rhode Island or Massachusetts next year.

 

[Razgriz-Specter]

I lived in Birmingham, AL for nearly all of my 30 year life.
Last year I up and moved to the Florida coast.


My life is so much better and happier now.

 

[myojinsoga]

GO

FOR

IT

Spoiler: Spoiler

Lots of times, actually. Australia, New Zealand, and various parts of the UK. It's taken me a while to finally find my feet and kick on, and for that you do actually have to stay in a place. But you should absolutely look around while you have any amount of youth on your side. It will only help you to grow.

 

[Jag]

Never lived outside of NY my entire life, including college. Picked up and moved to FL with no job prospects. Despite being a sweltering hellhole, I kind of like the place. No plans on leaving. Raised a family here.

 

[DazzlerIE]

At 25, I moved from Ireland to Vancouver with a single suitcase. Best decision I ever made. Still here a decade later

 

[nujabeans]

I moved from US to London a year and a half ago through a job opening with my company. I much, much prefer it here. It's not perfect, there is also an idiot running the government but I prefer the lifestyle, the city, government support (even for a foreigner like me), the parks and nature, and public transportation. It's also nice to have other major cities in Europe just an hour or two train ride away, and even faster on the plane.

 

[Tunesmith]

Yes, in a bit of a "fuck it why not" situation trying to get out of a depressing period of my life, I decided to uproot and took a job in a different country, where I didn't speak the language. Jumped off in to the deep end as they say.

Scary as hell but in hindsight it's probably the greatest decision I've ever made, 14 years on, apart from maybe picking up a video game controller at age 4 (😊).

 

[Armoured_Bear]

Yep, at your age I moved from Scotland to London, 1 year later moved to Germany, 2 years later to Paris, 3 years later than Switzerland.
Going out your comfort zone and meeting different people etc. is a challenge but immensely rewarding.
There's a big world out there to explore and if it doesn't work out, you can always come back a more experienced, mature person.

 

[nujabeans]

Yup. I was having a bad couple of months so on a whim I applied to job in the Netherlands, a country I had never even visited before, and to my shock they actually responded. Two months later I was packing up and moving. I've been here almost 6 months now and despite all that's been going on in the world, I couldn't be happier!

However, you should actually plan ahead unlike me. I got very, very lucky that it has worked out as well as it has.

Click to shrink...

Hello, fellow American in Europe! I absolutely loved Amsterdam when I visited for the first time last year and would love a chance to live there if I could.

How are you finding the language barrier? I know the Dutch speak quite good English, among the best in Europe I've heard.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

I've done it like 4 times. Could go for a 5th.