There's anecdotes in the article. Do you think there's excessive pressure in society to have a sex life, ERA?
-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
Guardian OPed: "The power of celibacy: ‘Giving up sex was a massive relief’ "
- Thread starter Sqrt
- Start date
There's anecdotes in the article. Do you think there's excessive pressure in society to have a sex life, ERA?
I have no desire to have sex whatsoever and I don't masturbate or whatever. I would like a sort of romantic, intimate relationship though, and it seems like you can't have that without the sex part, unfortunately.
I don't think so. I feel like the conversation really isn't brought up that frequently, but can see it in certain circles.
I've reached a point where not having sex really doesn't bother me at all. In fact the notion of dating now scares me a little because most people would expect that to lead to sex and all I really miss is stupid things like cuddling and doing things together that aren't sexual.
Sex, marriage, and children will become more and more rare as people find substitutes for the traditional "nuclear family".
I've thought about what the effect of humanity developing a diminished sex drive over many generations for a variety of reasons. Would it be better in the end to reduce that internal pressure on the species that is already well populated and able to live longer and longer lives on less and less? Or would that lack of something that is so inherently part of us as a living being stunt us far too much? Makes for a good scifi story premise I guess.
"In a world where you can get a sexual partner faster than a pizza delivery..."
That's presumptuous.
That's presumptuous.
Sex is fucking brilliant. The pressures around are not, but for me that's no reason to give it up.
God I hate newspaper rhetoric.
God I hate newspaper rhetoric.
I like sex, but Christ do middle-aged single folk obsess over it. I'm in several singles groups and it's like... I don't know any of these women's middle names, jobs, or hobbies... but I know what their favorite positions are, which ones love anal, how many have had threesomes and foursomes, their ideal penis sizes and lengths.
Sex is pretty much all folks talk about here. Some even straight up admit that they want to fuck a potential partner ASAP so they can be assured they're not "wasting time" on a guy.
Sex is pretty much all folks talk about here. Some even straight up admit that they want to fuck a potential partner ASAP so they can be assured they're not "wasting time" on a guy.
Can't recall asking any of my single friends about their sex life specifically. Might ask if they've got prospects in the dating world but that's an entirely different and more normal thing to me. Also can't say I've badgered anyone for being single if they're happy.
More power to them. My stupid body is increasing demand lately which is awful for various reasons. Being able to concentrate on anything else would be nice. Being able to piss after waking up without a major argument with my anatomy first would also be nice.
I've felt it a lot, from sitcoms of all things. Obviously the 'date of the week' format is mainly for hijinks rather than realism, but it did install an unhealthy fixation that having lots of partners is normal, and almost expected of you.
Last edited:
If lack of sex drive means that Hans would be more productive....then test tube babies would make up for lack of ones through intercourse. It could be counter productive because there will be less stressors involved via traditional birth.
living on your own in the city is so expensive that at this point, I think I might miss the financial benefits of being in a relationship more than the sex
I wouldn't say I agree that celibacy is required, but people certainly obsess over sex. Being in relationships, are constantly trying to put yourself in positions to have sex is certainly tiring. It's been a few months since I broke up with my ex, and and it's also been months since I've had sex. It's been awesome 🙏🏽
the article sounds like it might be true if you're really hot
*picks up phone*
yes I'll have one good sex please
*picks up phone*
yes I'll have one good sex please
And this. Sometimes I think about how much I want to meet someone just to be able to end up splitting my bills, and then I think about how sad that sounds.
The sex haver has entered the thread and yes I am here to answer your questions on sex and all things sexy.
Let's start with this:
I mean I guess if you used like Bumble and got a quick match and it was someone close and that eager to bone it's possible? But I'm pretty sure I can still get a pizza quicker.
Let's start with this:
I mean I guess if you used like Bumble and got a quick match and it was someone close and that eager to bone it's possible? But I'm pretty sure I can still get a pizza quicker.
A lot of people have really crappy relationships with sex, shaped by negative experiences, unwanted societal pressure, and perspectives warped by media. I think for anyone struggling with these factors, a break probably feels amazing.
Reading between the lines of this article, the happiness being achieved is actually being achieved via taking a break to recalibrate a sense of self-worth and build a healthy relationship with sex - its not actually about giving it up entirely, just giving up its negative effects on life. (Which in effect is not much different than changing your relationship with money, food, time, sleep, alcohol or whatever)
Having spent more than enough time in an otherwise ridiculously healthy relationship where my own needs were out of sync with my partner's, abstinence is definitely not a solution for everyone. Sex is a human need, and while you might need more or less of it than someone else, you definitely know when your needs aren't being met.
Reading between the lines of this article, the happiness being achieved is actually being achieved via taking a break to recalibrate a sense of self-worth and build a healthy relationship with sex - its not actually about giving it up entirely, just giving up its negative effects on life. (Which in effect is not much different than changing your relationship with money, food, time, sleep, alcohol or whatever)
Having spent more than enough time in an otherwise ridiculously healthy relationship where my own needs were out of sync with my partner's, abstinence is definitely not a solution for everyone. Sex is a human need, and while you might need more or less of it than someone else, you definitely know when your needs aren't being met.
I know right? Whoever wrote this must live in a porn movie or something.
I had a years long dry spell after I lost my virginity, and that time in my life was characterized by insane levels of stress and anxiety, profound loneliness, and heavy depression. When I finally broke the dry spell, I felt like I was flying. Now that I'm in a long-term relationship with someone I love, I still feel like a giddy teenager every time we do it.
If you don't have a high sex drive, that's perfectly okay. You should never feel like sex is an obligation. However, the idea of giving up sex in order to be happier and be able to focus on other things? No, my personal experience is the exact opposite. It was a nightmare.
If you don't have a high sex drive, that's perfectly okay. You should never feel like sex is an obligation. However, the idea of giving up sex in order to be happier and be able to focus on other things? No, my personal experience is the exact opposite. It was a nightmare.
I experienced a period of protracted celibacy once... and it was the most depressing period of my life. I'm much happier with regular sex and physical intimacy in my life, despite the occasonal strain my preoccupation with it occasionally puts on me and my partner (my sex drive is much higher than hers). Sex is great (arguably the greatest expression of passion anyone can experience), but social pressure to enjoy it regularly or else something is wrong with you or your relationship is not.
It's not that difficult to find a sex partner when you're a somewhat attractive girl.
to quote from the article:
I could see this being empowering to people who might depend on sex and relationships emotionally too much, but, I think most of the issues is the increase in "dating" apps that don't do a good job of trying to promote healthy relationships between two like minded people. Sex is great and all, but if it's only based on "looks" (as most hookup sites seemed to be based around) it's not going to be emotionally rewarding.
That person must be super lucky on apps cause that's not been my experience at all, even with the ones totally directed at that.
It seems like theres a lot of asexual people out there and theyre getting better at realizing it, these sorts of articles tend to come off as very "my experience should be yours as well" though. More people coming to terms with how sexual they are and making better decisions for themselves is a good thing.
I was in a position where I didn't have sex for a year (private matter) and nothing about it was a relief ... and Id say that was a big enough sample size.
I was in a position where I didn't have sex for a year (private matter) and nothing about it was a relief ... and Id say that was a big enough sample size.
Little did we know, that's a line for the movie's trailer.
"In a world where you can get a sexual partner faster than a pizza delivery... one woman will order both."