Going to live in another country and my anxiety is destroying me.

[Deleted member 2840]

In 24 hours I'll be embarking to Canada. First time in my life I even left Brazil, and the most time I've lived far away from my family was 4 months.

This year was a complete rollercoaster for me. I was laid off at the start of the year, got hired at a great company in another state, then got hired by a company in Quebec. It still feel completely surreal to me, like it hasn't hit me yet that I'll spend at least a year super far away from my friends and family, in a place that I don't speak the language (Duolingo a few weeks before could barely help me).

And I'm still wondering it was a good idea to accept the offer. I was at an amazing company, I could easily visit my family or by visited , the culture and language around me was something familiar so I got used to the new place pretty quickly.

But now? Yeah, I know that Canada is an amazing country. But I don't know if I'll be able to pick on (possibly) super different social cues, how to approach my colleagues, how to even make friends there. And of course doesn't help that I don't know a lick of French.

Because of all that the past few weeks have been anxiety hell. Made this thread to know about people's experiences in moving like that, tips and suggestions.

 

[nanhacott]

Where in Quebec? If you're headed to Montreal, you'll do just fine without knowing French, though you'll get regular stink-eye from people on the street who hear you speaking English.

Oh, and buy a winter jacket. Like, a real one.

Other than that... you'll be fine. Canada is great.

 

[Officer Big Mac]

Canada is easy mode western living. You'll be okay OP.

 

[Deleted member 23046]

I would say that being anxious is normal in such situation.

There is maybe an organized brazilan diaspora where you go, it could help you a bit

Just be sure to be clear with stuff like health insurance, taxes and pensions between your new home and your country of origin.

 

[Deleted member 4452]

Just tell them you're new to the country, and people will be glad to introduce you to the food and culture.

If you'll be in Montreal, you'll be fine with English, but people will be glad if you try to speak with broken French (it doesn't matter how broken).

 

[Mullet2000]

Still learn French, but you'll be fine at first in Montreal not knowing French.

Montreal is an awesome city OP, you'll love it. Get out there and socialize a bit and you'll be fine.

 

[Gunny T Highway]

Being anxious about moving to a new country is natural. Montreal is a great city. You will be fine knowing only English, but I would say try to pick up a bit of French while you are there to make some day to day interactions a bit easier. Try to check to see if there is a Brazilian organization in Montreal that can help you in the cultural transition. In the end just say you are new to this country and most people are understanding if you somehow mess up here and there. Once you are here I am sure you will adjust.

 

[Stinkles]

The French thing will be the most challenging, but ironically less so for you because you're Brazilian speaking English, so most normal people will be patient with you and speak in English - even Francophones. Won't do you any harm to learn a few phrases, but everything you need is going to be in English and French anyway. People are friendly, it's safe, cosmopolitain, well educated and relatively orderly.

 

[Deleted member 2840]

Oh yeah, I should've said it before. I'm going to Quebec City, not Montreal.
So... Yeah... I had heard that Montreal wasn't that bad if you didn't knew French. I don't know how QC is with that though.

But still, of course I'm going to start learning it when I get there, but it's been so long since I've learned a new language I don't even know if I can do it fast enough at my age.

 

[Mexen]

Wishing you the best. I have never been to Canada but it's one of the countries that I have always wanted to live in. It seems pretty chilled.

 

[Deleted member 9237]

I can relate OP, I moved to a different country too a few years ago, and this week I'm moving (temporarily) to another one. Got a pit in my stomach too. You'll get over it though.

 

[Tzarscream]

Not gonna lie OP, it's gonna be hard, but it's also one of the best and most rewarding things you can do in your life.

You need to be really brave to do it, and clearly you are because you took the job, so take it one step at a time, throw yourself in and you'll find your feet quicker than you might imagine.

I would personally recommend seeing a therapist that specialises in culture changes/moves because a big move can put massive pressure on your brain, you'll want someone to talk to and bounce idea of the wall.

Good luck and you won't regret this decision.

 

[Huncho_Houdini]

I understand the anxiety for sure. All of those thoughts entered my head as I temporarily shifted from the USA to Germany. I knew 0 german when I got here like 3 months ago, but after the first couple months of administrative bullshit, it starts to get pretty fun. As others have said you will be fine with English in Montreal. However, learning another language is really fun especially if you're immersed, so think of it as a more positive learning opportunity.

You will be homesick for sure though for the first month especially, but it gets better as you get your feet settled.

 

[Gunny T Highway]

Oh yeah, I should've said it before. I'm going to Quebec City, not Montreal.
So... Yeah... I had heard that Montreal wasn't that bad if you didn't knew French. I don't know how QC is with that though.

But still, of course I'm going to start learning it when I get there, but it's been so long since I've learned a new language I don't even know if I can do it fast enough at my age.

Click to shrink...

I do not know Quebec City as much, but I am sure the same thing applies with what I said before.

 

[GeoGonzo]

Oh yeah, I should've said it before. I'm going to Quebec City, not Montreal.
So... Yeah... I had heard that Montreal wasn't that bad if you didn't knew French. I don't know how QC is with that though.

But still, of course I'm going to start learning it when I get there, but it's been so long since I've learned a new language I don't even know if I can do it fast enough at my age.

Click to shrink...

Its a romance tongue, don't sweat it, you'll learn it really fast! The spanish company I work for opened a branch in Brazil and a bunch of people in their 40s had to quickly learn portuguese, and they had absolutely no trouble with it. French or italian are just like that too.

 

[Huncho_Houdini]

Oh yeah, I should've said it before. I'm going to Quebec City, not Montreal.
So... Yeah... I had heard that Montreal wasn't that bad if you didn't knew French. I don't know how QC is with that though.

But still, of course I'm going to start learning it when I get there, but it's been so long since I've learned a new language I don't even know if I can do it fast enough at my age.

Click to shrink...

Don't underestimate yourself. It takes consistent learning (half hour - hour daily), or you can do an intensive course on the weekends, and you'll come up to speed within a few months for basic things. Just gotta have some motivation.

 

[Tetrinski]

As someone who moved to Canada, I'll give you one tip: Canadians are nowhere near as social as the culture you come from, and making friends can often be very challenging. Don't blame yourself over not fitting in or not making friends right away, it somehow is part of the local culture. Also, be prepared for awful food, weather and plenty of racism.

You'll be fine, and the experience will make you a better, stronger person, but it is going to be hard, really hard, particularly in the long run, after the novelty has worn off and you start to get more homesick.

 

[Tzarscream]

So as you can see, just push on through and you'll eventually get there.

 

[Netherscourge]

QC is a big tourist city.

Most people know English and almost all signs show both English and French.

You'll be fine. Wouldn't hurt to learn some basic French phrases though.

 

[nanhacott]

Oh yeah, I should've said it before. I'm going to Quebec City, not Montreal.
So... Yeah... I had heard that Montreal wasn't that bad if you didn't knew French. I don't know how QC is with that though.

But still, of course I'm going to start learning it when I get there, but it's been so long since I've learned a new language I don't even know if I can do it fast enough at my age.

Click to shrink...

Quebec City doesn't have nearly as much English as Montreal, but most people here have rough English as a second language and are usually happy for the chance to practice. In general I always found the city much more patient with me.

Luckily, if you know English and Portuguese, you'll find yourself picking up French shockingly fast. And in the meantime, you only really need one phrase: "un latte pour emporter si vous plait." That got me through pretty much the whole first year.

 

[Tetrinski]

So as you can see, just push on through and you'll eventually get there.

Click to shrink...

The problem, and I speak from personal experience but also from the perspective of someone who studied a lot about emigration in college, is that acceptance is not equal to happiness, it's more like resignation. That doesn't change until usually the third generation of immigrants. The thing is, we are told that that feeling of happiness and belonging will come, and that doesn't help, quite the opposite.

 

[Tzarscream]

The problem, and I speak from personal experience but also from the perspective of someone who studied a lot about emigration in college, is that acceptance is not equal to happiness, it's more like resignation. That doesn't change until usually the third generation of immigrants. The thing is, we are told that that feeling of happiness and belonging will come, and that doesn't help, quite the opposite.

Click to shrink...

Happiness is a nebulous concept though, you can't achieve happiness by moving to another country the same as you can't achieve happiness by staying in your home country. Happiness is much bigger than just your surroundings, it contributes for sure, but it's not that simple.

 

[DanteMenethil]

Oh yeah, I should've said it before. I'm going to Quebec City, not Montreal.
So... Yeah... I had heard that Montreal wasn't that bad if you didn't knew French. I don't know how QC is with that though.

But still, of course I'm going to start learning it when I get there, but it's been so long since I've learned a new language I don't even know if I can do it fast enough at my age.

Click to shrink...

Last year I worked with a Brazilian who knew zero french, we talked to him in english (if you work in STEM, everyone in that industry can talk in english in quebec city). By immersion he picked up french real fast it was very impressive. I changed jobs after a couple months of working with him but by the end there was no need for english anymore.

As someone who moved to Canada, I'll give you one tip: Canadians are nowhere near as social as the culture you come from, and making friends can often be very challenging. Don't blame yourself over not fitting in or not making friends right away, it somehow is part of the local culture. Also, be prepared for awful food, weather and plenty of racism.

You'll be fine, and the experience will make you a better, stronger person, but it is going to be hard, really hard, particularly in the long run, after the novelty has worn off and you start to get more homesick.

Click to shrink...

True, I had some french (france) roommates and worked with some, they all say we are welcoming but not very social.

 

[Tetrinski]

Happiness is a nebulous concept though, you can't achieve happiness by moving to another country the same as you can't achieve happiness by staying in your home country. Happiness is much bigger than just your surroundings, it contributes for sure, but it's not that simple.

Click to shrink...

Happiness can and is surveyed, and there are national rankings as well as immigrant data. There are hundreds of social studies on this subject from around the world: it is not simple but it is studied and there are conclusions on it.

Anyway, back on topic, OP in Canada there are immigrant centres in most major cities. The one in my city helped me with programs to adapt to the local culture, employment, help with paperwork and stuff like that. I suggest you try to get in touch with your local one as soon as you can, it'll make things easier for you, I promise., and it'll help to be in touch with people who have gone or are going through similar life experiences.