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Getting engaged during a pandemic

ExhaustedWalrus

ExhaustedWalrus

Member
Oct 28, 2017
5,849
Era, I want to propose to my SO. However, with a literal pandemic going on right now, I am very wary. We've been together 5 years. I love them a lot. And I want to be married. We won't set a date until we know when it'll be safe to have events again. Is getting engaged a bad idea right now? We've been talking about it a lot lately, and they've been looking at rings... I just want to do the right thing. I know it's complicated and will give more details as I can.
 
KujoJosuke

KujoJosuke

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,742
I proposed to my fiancee like a month and a half ago. When the time is right, the time is right.

We however aren't going to have a wedding for 2 years.
 
WordsintheWater

WordsintheWater

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,502
I don't think it's a bad idea at all, seems like you both want to get engaged so go ahead and do what will make you guys happy. What's the living situation like? How old are you guys?
 
Fat4all

Fat4all

Woke up, got a money tag, swears a lot
Member
Oct 25, 2017
92,576
here
seeing as you are delaying the marriage until things get better, I don't see how getting engaged is all that dangerous
 
Hollywood Duo

Hollywood Duo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
41,782
I'd wait personally. Engagement should be a happy time. Throwing the weight of a pandemic over it just seems like adding unnecessary stress.
 
ShyMel

ShyMel

Moderator
Oct 31, 2017
3,483
Has your SO mentioned if they would be okay getting engaged during the pandemic? Also looking at rings online versus in stores can make a difference in what kind they would like. Are jewelers open where you are to look in person?
 
Curufinwe

Curufinwe

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
8,924
DE
Engaged is fine.

I'm amazed anyone is getting married this year if there's a way to put it off till later.
 
Cookie

Cookie

Member
Oct 26, 2017
2,258
Everything going on id entirely irrelevant to what you want to do. Unless it's physically impossible like having a wedding, nothing is different. Do you want a ton of people when you propose? Because if not it doesn't matter.
 
Birdito

Birdito

Member
Oct 30, 2017
979
I proposed 4 months ago, we probably won't get married for a year or more. My brother proposed to his girlfriend as well, and they're planning on 2022.

And I proposed on the day we marked 4 years together. I wasn't going to wait another year.
 
Goddo Hando

Goddo Hando

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,713
Chicago
pandemic has everyone all sorts of messed up emotionally, so as long as you feel like this isn't reactionary to these crazy times-- i say go ahead you crazy kids. And remember it's OK to get engaged a year or two before the actual wedding day
 
shaneo632

shaneo632

Weekend Planner
Member
Oct 29, 2017
28,980
Wrexham, Wales
Right now is perfect if you want an excuse not to do some elaborate cornball proposal.

And also just generally not a bad idea as you seem level headed about it OP.
 

Deleted member 4367

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
12,226
I think it's a little weird to avoid proposing during the pandemic. If y'all want a big wedding I guess I can see it being a strange time, but eloping/tiny weddings both seem like the best thing ever anyway. We spent way too much goddamn money on the wedding.
 
Lace

Lace

Member
Oct 27, 2017
902
I have friends who are still dead set on getting married this fall (I'm the best man so I'm stuck attending). I wouldn't worry about the timing of an engagement if you're willing to have a potentially lengthy engagement.
 
Seesaw15

Seesaw15

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,809
Congrats OP!
Aren't you only 24 OP? Why the rush to get engaged especially during a pandemic/recession?
 
Meus Renaissance

Meus Renaissance

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,074
KujoJosuke said:
Making it official but still need to save money.

Also planning and such.

What's the rush? People can be engaged as long as they want. It's not a race. The 2 years was her idea.
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There's no rush - that's why you've been in a long-term relationship already. In our culture, we get engaged and used the remaining months to plan for the wedding and find a home.
 
Tawpgun

Tawpgun

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,861
I was going to propose at this festival we were gonna be at the 2nd week of July. Now I gotta think of something else and I'm having a hard time
 
OP
OP
ExhaustedWalrus

ExhaustedWalrus

Member
Oct 28, 2017
5,849
To answer several questions:

We're not in a rush. We have both agreed we will wait until things are better until we have the wedding.

We've been looking at rings together in stores and she's found the type and kind she likes.

Overall, I really, truly love her and I want to be married. But we both think engagement is fine right now.
 
BronzeWolf

BronzeWolf

Member
Nov 3, 2017
3,643
Mexico
ExhaustedWalrus said:
Era, I want to propose to my SO. However, with a literal pandemic going on right now, I am very wary. We've been together 5 years. I love them a lot. And I want to be married. We won't set a date until we know when it'll be safe to have events again. Is getting engaged a bad idea right now? We've been talking about it a lot lately, and they've been looking at rings... I just want to do the right thing. I know it's complicated and will give more details as I can.
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Get engaged, then get legally married, move in together. You can make a wedding party after this shit is over.
 
Emergency & I

Emergency & I

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
6,634
You could always start coughing uncontrollably and go on one knee while she helps you from the front. You keep coughing and coughing until she's over you...

*Stop coughing*
You: I'm, I'm okay. I got it.
*Look up with a smile on your face and open your hand*
RING REVEAL



Or not lol.
 
TheSaddestSort

TheSaddestSort

Member
Oct 27, 2017
704
I don't see why getting engaged or even getting legally married would be an issue. You obviously wouldn't be able to have a formal wedding ceremony right now or for the foreseeable future, but it sounds like you both already know that.
 
EverythingShiny

EverythingShiny

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,086
I got engaged in May, and it was still romantic! I am an introvert so I actually preferred getting engaged at home with just the two of us. :)

We are going to get legally married at the courthouse in October and will just throw a reception once it's safe for our friends and families to gather, and who the fuck knows when that will be. We're older (both 37), though, and we want to start a family so there's no way we were going to wait another year or two to get married/have kids.
 
Durden

Durden

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
12,511
Just do it if you feel it's right. I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years on V-Day this year. Within a month the entire world had changed. It's been pretty crazy and put a damper on things sometimes, but I'm still very happy I did it. At least y'all already know what's happening in the world.
 
Daingurse

Daingurse

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,739
If it feels right then it feels right.

I got engaged this year, and married just a few weeks ago. My wife and I just didn't see the point in waiting a 1yr+ to have a big traditional wedding, when we love each other and wanted to be married now. So we went ahead and had an extremely small, pandemic wedding ceremony with masks, social distancing, and a Zoom stream for the 99% of our family who obviously couldn't attend. It wasn't ideal by any means, but when all was said and done, it felt right and I'm glad we didn't wait. We're planning on having a big reception with all our the family present once there's a vaccine, to make it up to all the people who couldn't be there physically.

So I'd go for it, man! You'll be able to say you got engaged in the great pandemic of 2020, and have a nice bright spot to look back on in an otherwise dismal year.
 
Hogger

Hogger

Member
Nov 18, 2017
1,292
OP, are you me?

5 years together and I had planned a trip to propose. COVID hits and the trip becomes impossible. I'm pivoting to a smaller trip but still thinking of ways to make it special. Good luck.
 
KujoJosuke

KujoJosuke

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,742
Hogger said:
OP, are you me?

5 years together and I had planned a trip to propose. COVID hits and the trip becomes impossible. I'm pivoting to a smaller trip but still thinking of ways to make it special. Good luck.
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We live in SE Michigan, but about a month and a half ago we went about 3 hours north to a house that my fiancee's family owns, just to spend 2 nights, with her cousin. I knew this was gonna be the time, because only about an hour NW of the house was Traverse City, which is beautiful and probably pretty quiet due to Covid. We ended up just staying one night and then had lunch on the old State Hospital grounds (which is now apartments, shops and restaurants), and I proposed when we were done with lunch. Barely any people around, easy to social distance, and the weather was beautiful.

Ended up being a super low key and safe trip with barely any interaction outside of the two of us and our dog. Didn't even have to leave the state lol
 
mhayes86

mhayes86

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,244
Maryland
I don't see how an engagement would really be affected by this unless you're living separately due to social distancing, or planned on proposing at a specific location/event. Go for it.

Weddings are definitely affected, but if that's the plan, you've got plenty of time to prepare. My father in law and his SO were going to get married back in May, but that's on hold.
 
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Nigel Tufnel

Nigel Tufnel

Member
Mar 5, 2019
3,146
Our wedding was scheduled for October. We've already moved it back to May. We'll do it at the courthouse by ourselves in May if its not safe to have a wedding then, and throw a party once this shit over or something, if need be.
 
totofogo

totofogo

Member
Oct 29, 2017
5,543
Chicago
Is your worry that it can't be done in a grand way? That it might change your dynamic? That the wedding might be too far away? I'm don't quite understand what has you wary.
 
Mekanos

Mekanos

â–˛ Legend â–˛
Member
Oct 17, 2018
44,120
ExhaustedWalrus said:
To answer several questions:

We're not in a rush. We have both agreed we will wait until things are better until we have the wedding.

We've been looking at rings together in stores and she's found the type and kind she likes.

Overall, I really, truly love her and I want to be married. But we both think engagement is fine right now.
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Sounds like you should do it. Good luck!
 
Nox

Nox

Member
Dec 23, 2017
2,899
I got engaged back in May. If the time is right, it's right. Plus points for if you were in lockdown together and didnt murder each other
 
OP
OP
ExhaustedWalrus

ExhaustedWalrus

Member
Oct 28, 2017
5,849
totofogo said:
Is your worry that it can't be done in a grand way? That it might change your dynamic? That the wedding might be too far away? I'm don't quite understand what has you wary.
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I don't know. I think I just wanted other opinions since it's only been discussed between us. But, it feels right and I 100% want to get married to her.
 
Tawpgun

Tawpgun

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,861
ExhaustedWalrus said:
I don't know. I think I just wanted other opinions since it's only been discussed between us. But, it feels right and I 100% want to get married to her.
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My issue is we have been together so long we both know we are getting married. Me asking her to marry her isn't a surprise. What I want to be a surprise is when/how I ask.

Tough during COVID
 
Vern

Vern

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
5,097
I'd skip the engagement and just go elope. Use the pandemic as an excuse to not have to waste a shitload of money on a stupid party.
 
blackhawk163

blackhawk163

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,209
Goddo Hando said:
you'd be surprised how far booked ahead venues can be
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People should elope. Avoid all the ridiculous (obviously to me) pomp and expenses that go into it. That's what my fiance (who I've been calling her my wife since forever) are doing this Sept. Originally planned it for glacier national park last year (for this Sept) but flying in the pandemic is a no go. So we rescheduled for Acadia, as it's only an 8 or so hour drive from NJ. Just us and the photographer 6k including dress and my outfit + photography and stays.
 
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