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Celestine

Member
Oct 31, 2017
694
Tokyo, Japan
Nothing more annoying than a white dude who has an Asian girlfriend or wife. Or a white dude obsessed with anything Asian in general.

I know what you mean, but I've met some amazing people here in Japan, in the games industry no less. You kind of have to have a lot of interest in Japanese things to stick it out here. Can't speak for other Asian countries, though.

There is a certain subset of people that are super annoying, though. They tend to be English teachers, not to take from people who are genuinely interested in teaching, but this kind of person just needs any job to be here.
 

99nikniht

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,352
Nothing more annoying than a white dude who has an Asian girlfriend or wife. Or a white dude obsessed with anything Asian in general.

I was in Bali (Denpasar/Kuta area) back in 2017 and was hanging out at my friend's bar. This Aussie or English guy kept telling me repeatedly that I don't know anything (in the context of Asian/Indonesia women). I'm Asian and have stayed in Bali a month here and a month there infrequently, so I'm quite familiar with the place. This fucker just kept haranguing me about what I do and do not know when he literally just met me.

I've met people like him, but much less aggressive and less self-asserted at various countries of Asia. It's not surprising to me that there's a term for these people now. Fucking Franks haha.
 

Miletius

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
1,257
Berkeley, CA
Not to be one to call people out specifically (not that I haven't done that in the past) but if your contribution to this thread is to pop in and talk about or innuendize that you have an Asian partner/Asian fetish, then you are kinda part of the problem. People are allowed to like who they like, and that's well and good.

Expecting people to validate your life choices just cause your feelings might be hurt when you haven't even really been called out yet is a very childish move.

Edit: and to be clear, if you don't feel like you've been called out, then you haven't been called out.
 

NateDog

Member
Jan 8, 2018
1,751
Edward Said's Orientalism (mentioned by the author) is a superb read. I'm not American but have read a little about Asian Americans lately and how some feel like they've misplaced themselves in American society at times and not stood up for themselves or other minorities / POC. As someone mixed race (and British Asian being a part of that, along with what feels to me like some other contradictions) I find stuff like the OP hard to read but not at all unexpected. Finding an identity for yourself and being comfortable with it as a foreigner living in another country at its most simplistic level is tough and something I've struggled with a lot over the past number of years in particular, not least because people are busy trying to figure myself and my background out so often so they can put me into a category and have their prejudices against me more refined.
 

mujun

Member
Nov 1, 2017
2,851
User Banned (1 Month): Hijacking a thread about minority concerns and instead centring it on a non-marginalised group.
Not to be one to call people out specifically (not that I haven't done that in the past) but if your contribution to this thread is to pop in and talk about or innuendize that you have an Asian partner/Asian fetish, then you are kinda part of the problem. People are allowed to like who they like, and that's well and good.

Expecting people to validate your life choices just cause your feelings might be hurt when you haven't even really been called out yet is a very childish move.

Edit: and to be clear, if you don't feel like you've been called out, then you haven't been called out.

At least be clear about what you are saying.

Opinions like, "Expats are racist immigrants" or "white dudes married to asians are annoying" need more explanation if you ask me.
 

Van Bur3n

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
26,089
I was in Bali (Denpasar/Kuta area) back in 2017 and was hanging out at my friend's bar. This Aussie or English guy kept telling me repeatedly that I don't know anything (in the context of Asian/Indonesia women). I'm Asian and have stayed in Bali a month here and a month there infrequently, so I'm quite familiar with the place. This fucker just kept haranguing me about what I do and do not know when he literally just met me.

I've met people like him, but much less aggressive and less self-asserted at various countries of Asia. It's not surprising to me that there's a term for these people now. Fucking Franks haha.

Bruv, I've had the brother of the dude who married an Asian woman tell me how cultured he was now. Don't even have to marry an Asian now, they just get one whiff of it and they act like they've traveled from the far, exotic East.
"white dudes married to asians are annoying" need more explanation if you ask me.

You got a whole article written by a Vietnamese dude in the OP explaining it to you. I assume you read it because you're in this thread after all. It's the entire point of the thread.

If you know you're not an annoying one than you should determine I ain't talking about you specifically. But who knows, maybe I am. That's up to you.
 

mujun

Member
Nov 1, 2017
2,851
You got a whole article written by a Vietnamese dude in the OP explaining it to you. I assume you read it because you're in this thread after all. It's the entire point of the thread.

If you know you're not an annoying one than you should determine I ain't talking about you specifically. But who knows, maybe I am. That's up to you.

People who talk like this are condescending. I ain't talking about you specifically. But who knows, maybe I am.
 

JCLShay

Member
Apr 4, 2020
310
Asian-American here. Recent poster in these forums. Feels like I missed some major event here regarding Asian Americans.......
 

Deleted member 50374

alt account
Banned
Dec 4, 2018
2,482
I dunno man. I'm not white but I'm an American expat and I've definitely seen these behaviors personified and even in myself sometimes but that's hard to get on board with. Kind of weird to think of living in Asia as being a racist immigrant personally. But think what you want i guess
The fact that Anglo-Saxons refer to themselves differently than how they refer to other ethnicities. More often than not, they enjoy being of a higher social status, strongly more accepted as "whites", and rarely commit to integrate; therefore they aren't "immigrants".
 

mujun

Member
Nov 1, 2017
2,851
Do you think people are arguing against interracial marriage here?

I asked for some people to clarify some comments.

Maybe I'm not smart enough to read between the lines?

Was the way I initially asked rude and that's why the response I got came across as condescending?

Was it not condescending and I'm just too sensitive?

Your white fragility is showing

How so? I'm asking for clarification in an attempt to continue the conversation and use that to determine if I'm a Frank myself or not.

Is asking how so another mistake on my part?
 

Salty_Josh

Member
Oct 28, 2017
2,942
I asked for some people to clarify some comments.

Maybe I'm not smart enough to read between the lines?

Was the way I initially asked rude and that's why the response I got came across as condescending?

Was it not condescending and I'm just too sensitive?



How so? I'm asking for clarification in an attempt to continue the conversation and use that to determine if I'm a Frank myself or not.

Is asking how so another mistake on my part?
Stop just asking questions and go read a book or something.
 

erlim

Member
Oct 26, 2017
5,502
London
One time I was at a gas station while driving through Pennsylvania, and the dude working there wished me a happy new year. And I was like "wtf? It's February." He apologized and explained he had lived in Vietnam for many years and it was lunar New Years. I'm Chinese American, but third generation, and I had no idea, nor did my family ever observe it growing up. To be honest though I felt kinda bad he was making an earnest attempt at pleasantries and I was befuddled.
 

Tsuyu

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,573
Basically all of the white dudes I've ever met in my 13+ years of living in Asia who date Asian women exclusively are like this.

There's a white cis male dude from New Zealand who is based in South Korea who likes to think of himself as the "foremost authority" on Korean gender politics, Korean women, and feminism and the sexuality of Korean women in the country. So he keeps a blog. Writes like he has a personal agenda. And gets SUPER pissed if you ask him to write about the objectification of Asian women by white men.

These assholes are a dime a dozen to me.

IMG_20200626_172517.jpg


Something like this?

The red flag to this is him finding the need to clarify its mostly female students that he met who are great.
 

wandering

flâneur
Moderator
Oct 25, 2017
2,136
Hey, heads up:

If you're a non-Asian dude with an Asian partner trying to make this thread about yourself, do yourself a favor.

Don't.
 

nampad

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
4,238
Idk, I get "franked" here often by people who think to know better than an Asian what I should be offended of and what I should think.
 

Zweizer

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,107
Franks and sexpats seem to be another consequence of the western domination of consumer media worldwide, which elevates white mediocrity and perpetuates yellow fever.

Fuck Frank, but that situation is not gonna go away as long as (mainly american) shows and movies remain the broad standard worldwide.
 

Danboard

Member
Oct 27, 2017
105
Asian-American here. Recent poster in these forums. Feels like I missed some major event here regarding Asian Americans.......

It's not really a major event but many different incidents that accumulates and shows the blind side of people we would consider allies. The most recent one is the Smash Bros. Min Min Reveal debacle in which posters decided to shit on a marginalized POC for another marginalized POC because they decided all Asians are the same or didn't understand her design and thought she didn't look Asian enough. Another recent one that I remember was the thread about minority cuisine books being overtly represented by white people and POC chefs not having the same opportunities as white chefs. Many posters ignored the issue and argue food should be for everybody and shouldn't be gatekeep. I'm mostly just lurked and the thread pissed me so much that I had to respond. I'm pretty sure I'm missing a few more incidents.

Essentially, it's a cycle of the double standard of not giving the same consideration for marginalized groups to Asian Americans and we have to explain every time why it negatively affects us, rinse and repeat. The mods are usually being very good with stamping this behavior down but it's toll can be exhausting.
 

lint2015

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,809
This happens on Era all the fucking time.

Or did, I don't know. I don't venture much into threads where they might happen anymore and AsianEra isn't active much anymore because of this very reason.

It's not really a major event but many different incidents that accumulates and shows the blind side of people we would consider allies. The most recent one is the Smash Bros. Min Min Reveal debacle...

Essentially, it's a cycle of the double standard of not giving the same consideration for marginalized groups to Asian Americans and we have to explain every time why it negatively affects us, rinse and repeat. The mods are usually being very good with stamping this behavior down but it's toll can be exhausting.

EDIT: Okay, looks like it's still happening here. Carry on.
 

Lentic

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,835
Franks have this fetish of being the only white guy in the room and like having their egos stroked simply for existing. The funny thing is that Franks often loathe each other because they threaten each other's egos.

Unfortunately, a lot of people around the world have this subconscious desire to want to feel validated by white people. All it takes is for Frank to show some mild interest in your culture and suddenly everyone is fawning over them. I know the feeling and I've had to restrain myself from singing their praises simply for acknowledging my culture's existence.

Also, at some point in the past I would've disagreed about the usage of "expat" being racist, but it 100% is used by white people who don't want to call themselves immigrants. There's this idea in their mind that they are doing their host country a favor by being there.
 

DarthSpider

The Fallen
Nov 15, 2017
2,952
Hiroshima, Japan
User Banned (2 Weeks): Hijacking a thread about minority concerns and instead centring it on a non-marginalised group
For some reason I've got Less than Jake's "Just Like Frank" playing in my head.

On paper, I am Frank. All white immigrants in Asia know a Frank. And if you don't, well...... It kinda sucks that are also plenty of people out there (and here) chomping at the bit to invalidate any white immigrant's lived experience because they enjoy the schadenfreude. That shit makes me feel like I can't talk about my life here from a cultural perspective. I get it, though.
 

NameUser

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,966
That was a great rant. Going to read the article now. I'm so tired of folks thinking they aren't racist just because they have an Asian/Black/POC partner. THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU A PASS!
 

nded

Member
Nov 14, 2017
10,554
For some reason I've got Less than Jake's "Just Like Frank" playing in my head.

On paper, I am Frank. All white immigrants in Asia know a Frank. And if you don't, well...... It kinda sucks that are also plenty of people out there (and here) chomping at the bit to invalidate any white immigrant's lived experience because they enjoy the schadenfreude. That shit makes me feel like I can't talk about my life here from a cultural perspective. I get it, though.
Just don't present yourself as some kind of unimpeachable authority on your host country or try to use your experiences to put others down. Not trying to make these discussions about you is a good start.
 

wandering

flâneur
Moderator
Oct 25, 2017
2,136
For some reason I've got Less than Jake's "Just Like Frank" playing in my head.

On paper, I am Frank. All white immigrants in Asia know a Frank. And if you don't, well...... It kinda sucks that are also plenty of people out there (and here) chomping at the bit to invalidate any white immigrant's lived experience because they enjoy the schadenfreude. That shit makes me feel like I can't talk about my life here from a cultural perspective. I get it, though.

Yeah, it really sucks that we don't have more white voices in here, doesn't it? Shame.
 

Gotdatmoney

Member
Oct 28, 2017
14,487
For some reason I've got Less than Jake's "Just Like Frank" playing in my head.

On paper, I am Frank. All white immigrants in Asia know a Frank. And if you don't, well...... It kinda sucks that are also plenty of people out there (and here) chomping at the bit to invalidate any white immigrant's lived experience because they enjoy the schadenfreude. That shit makes me feel like I can't talk about my life here from a cultural perspective. I get it, though.

Who said your experiences were not valid? I'm not Asian so Asian Era can correct me if I'm off base but bruh, you sound so whiny right now and it is just a bad look. Nobody ever forbid you from talking about your life or explaining things you experienced. People are saying that white people are not experts on Asian culture or Asian experience because they aren't Asian. So they need to let actually Asian people and the specific ethnicities and nationalities that topics are about be the predominant voice.

How is this people chomping to invalidate your experience? You know your perspective is always going to be through the lens of a white person. That's just reality. Doesn't mean you don't know shit. But it does mean that you need to acknowledge framework that your opinion is built from.
 

Deleted member 56306

User-requested account closure
Banned
Apr 26, 2019
2,383
Yeah, it really sucks that we don't have more white voices in here, doesn't it? Shame.

They have no choice but to make articles like this about them. Asians who discuss the frustration of their "asianness" being quantified/qualified and their "americanness" being conditional really should be more sensitive to the plights of white immigrants. /s
 

Seductivpancakes

user requested ban
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
7,790
Brooklyn
For some reason I've got Less than Jake's "Just Like Frank" playing in my head.

On paper, I am Frank. All white immigrants in Asia know a Frank. And if you don't, well...... It kinda sucks that are also plenty of people out there (and here) chomping at the bit to invalidate any white immigrant's lived experience because they enjoy the schadenfreude. That shit makes me feel like I can't talk about my life here from a cultural perspective. I get it, though.
Ya'll white people love to make every thread about yourselves don't you guys.
 

Deleted member 2779

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
4,045
For some reason I've got Less than Jake's "Just Like Frank" playing in my head.

On paper, I am Frank. All white immigrants in Asia know a Frank. And if you don't, well...... It kinda sucks that are also plenty of people out there (and here) chomping at the bit to invalidate any white immigrant's lived experience because they enjoy the schadenfreude. That shit makes me feel like I can't talk about my life here from a cultural perspective. I get it, though.
If you're aware that 'on paper' you're a Frank, use this as a learning opportunity. Being just aware isn't good enough. You can't control your gut response to an article like this and it makes sense that you're defensive, but a little bit of humility goes a long way. It's good that you're uncomfortable, this is what dismantling racism is going to look and feel like. Sit with this discomfort, get upset if you need to, but don't double down on it and dig your heels in.
 

Deleted member 4452

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,377
No need to #notallfranks this thread.

If you're not talking down on Asians or trying to speak for Asians or using your Asian spouse as a way to gain more Asian cred, you're not the people we're talking about.

I have a white guy-Vietnamese girl couple as friends, and they are the cutest couple. And you know what's interesting? None of their interactions with me or with other people around us has anything to do with how exotic the relationship is, nor does the guy ever try to whitesplain Asian culture. They're just a regular couple. Weird, huh?
 
Oct 25, 2017
19,165
For some reason I've got Less than Jake's "Just Like Frank" playing in my head.

On paper, I am Frank. All white immigrants in Asia know a Frank. And if you don't, well...... It kinda sucks that are also plenty of people out there (and here) chomping at the bit to invalidate any white immigrant's lived experience because they enjoy the schadenfreude. That shit makes me feel like I can't talk about my life here from a cultural perspective. I get it, though.
Goddamn really slid in with the "won't somebody think of the white people" line.
 

DarthSpider

The Fallen
Nov 15, 2017
2,952
Hiroshima, Japan
Ya'll white people love to make every thread about yourselves don't you guys.

In general, no. I usually hate making things about me or bringing attention to myself. I apologize for doing that here.

If you're aware that 'on paper' you're a Frank, use this as a learning opportunity. Being just aware isn't good enough. You can't control your gut response to an article like this and it makes sense that you're defensive, but a little bit of humility goes a long way. It's good that you're uncomfortable, this is what dismantling racism is going to look and feel like. Sit with this discomfort, get upset if you need to, but don't double down on it and dig your heels in.

The article doesn't make me uncomfortable at all. Frank is a cunt.
 

TickleMeElbow

Member
Oct 31, 2017
2,668
Something I wonder is if the "Asian Girlfriend/Wife" in these couples do the same thing but for white people. Like do they go around telling white people their meatloaf recipe is wrong because "my husband is white" lol?
 

Deleted member 46493

User requested account closure
Banned
Aug 7, 2018
5,231
Something I wonder is if the "Asian Girlfriend/Wife" in these couples do the same thing but for white people. Like do they go around telling white people their meatloaf recipe is wrong because "my husband is white" lol?
Ha, that'd be hilarious. But of course not if they're international couples. Only way I could see this happen is they're both American and the wife/gf is very whitewashed. Of course the white people in that case would be offended -.-
 

Annubis

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,653
For some reason I've got Less than Jake's "Just Like Frank" playing in my head.

On paper, I am Frank. All white immigrants in Asia know a Frank. And if you don't, well...... It kinda sucks that are also plenty of people out there (and here) chomping at the bit to invalidate any white immigrant's lived experience because they enjoy the schadenfreude. That shit makes me feel like I can't talk about my life here from a cultural perspective. I get it, though.
Boohoohoo ;_;
I'm the real victim here guys!

Edit because effe it: can we white people stop doing victimhood olympics? It's pathetic. If you can't get over the most minute slight when you have all the resources available, try and imagine someone who has none of that. Also, real victims don't use their experience(s) to win throwaway forum debates.
 
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Silent

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
2,431
I never understood it before, but this finally explains why I hate all of those "White Guy Speaks Fluent _______" videos.