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lowmelody

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,101
Everytime I hear an English man say the word 'building', it's the cutest thing I've heard that day.
 

Nocturnowl

Member
Oct 25, 2017
26,072
Passive aggressive sighing when you're trying to will something to happen like having the waiter come to your table, instead of actually calling them over
 

Shiz Padoo

Member
Oct 13, 2018
6,089
Old doors had those lever things on the inside which could be opened without a key. But then if it shut without the latch on while you were outside without the key, you'd be locked out.
 

Burly

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,069
That fact that you can take a perfectly xtra sentence and make it all sixes and sevens with your waffle yakking.
 

Redcrayon

Patient hunter
On Break
Oct 27, 2017
12,713
UK
Old doors had those lever things on the inside which could be opened without a key. But then if it shut without the latch on while you were outside without the key, you'd be locked out.
Thats why my parents would do things like give a key to a neighbour and hide one around the front garden/porch somewhere. Something that just seems alien to me now.
 

Brat-Sampson

Member
Nov 16, 2017
3,461
Weird taps. Not sure I love them as such, but I sure do hate them less than anyone not from the UK I've seen.

Positive equivalent:

British Plugs

 

MrCibb

Member
Dec 12, 2018
5,349
UK
That the first thing you should do when you hurt yourself is run it under a cold tap.
 

Dogstar

Member
Oct 29, 2017
1,973
Saluting Magpies when you see them or saying good morning to Mr Magpie and asking how his wife and kids are.

Yes!... I do that. I'm not mad after all.

Kissing gates anyone?.. went through one today, had to kiss my wife and son, or I'd feel bad.

Feeling worried we still have Christmas lights on after twelfth night?

Saying sorry when someone else gets in my way?
 

Deleted member 16516

User requested account closure
Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,427
If South Asian Brits count, the use of the word 'bhenchod' is almost as ubiquitous as the use of 'cunt' by white people.
 

Shiz Padoo

Member
Oct 13, 2018
6,089
The act of beeping the car horn as you drive away from people you visited.
 
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WPS

Member
Oct 25, 2017
365
I'm a big fan of how so many of our place names have such bizarre spellings.

Is it really a proper british place name if less than a 1/3 of the letters are silent?
 

Dogstar

Member
Oct 29, 2017
1,973
As well as using the term "alright?" as you pass someone and them saying it back.


Ah, but, only if they look working class, or lower... Otherwise it's "good morning" - "good afternoon" - "good evening"... or, "good day".

Joking of course. But I don't say "alright" to the older generations.
 

Megabreath

Member
Oct 25, 2018
2,662
Small talk to randoms about the weather

Hanging bags of dog shit on tree branches - seems to be a new thing

tripping on uneven paving slabs - been a lot places and this doesn't happen to me anywhere else

When I was in NZ, my colleagues took the piss of how I say battery, its a "battrey" right?

"best make some tracks"
 

Fevaweva

Member
Oct 30, 2017
6,468
Welsh people saying "tad-ha" as a way of saying bye.

Devonshire people saying "a'right my lurve?"
 

Easy_G

Member
Dec 11, 2017
1,664
California
I'm so guilty of this one but I cannot get myself out of the habit.

As well as using the term "alright?" as you pass someone and them saying it back.

God, I love this thread because I'm so guilty of basically all of it.
I moved to the UK recently and it's taken me ages to not give an answer to "alright?" I constantly feel compelled to say, "good, how are you?" I did that many times and I could just feel the interaction completely break down.

I love the way British people say goodbye on the phone twenty times while their voice gets higher and higher. Similar to the cheers/bye already mentioned.
 

Shiz Padoo

Member
Oct 13, 2018
6,089
I'd probably say Pauline.
giphy.gif
 

Dogstar

Member
Oct 29, 2017
1,973
Devonshire people saying "a'right my lurve?"

Hmm, I've lived in 'Devonshire' for most of my life, but I can't remember hearing this for a long time...Round ere like, most folk start (or end) each sentance with "to be fair"...

But, fucking hell, do not put your jam on your scone first, as you'll be thrown out of the county.
 

Croc Man

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,546
The whole going out or going out out thing.

Random mostly unjustified hatred of public figures. Four people in a pub, mention a random innocuous celebrity and at least one will give a lecture of why they're actually a right twat.
 

Fevaweva

Member
Oct 30, 2017
6,468
Hmm, I've lived in 'Devonshire' for most of my life, but I can't remember hearing this for a long time...Round ere like, most folk start (or end) each sentance with "to be fair"...

But, fucking hell, do not put your jam on your scone first, as you'll be thrown out of the county.
I usually heard it from the older generation of Devon people when I lived there.
 

JoeNut

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,482
UK
My nan swears you can't buy someone a purse/wallet without putting some money in it or it's bad luck
 

Fatoy

Member
Mar 13, 2019
7,220
"Mate" being used in a threatening way if said to a stranger. "What did you just say to me, mate?"

"Cunt" being used amongst friends like it's nothing. "Shut up, you daft cunt."
I tried to explain this to some American colleagues in a bar in New York once, about the threatening barbs you get on words like "pal" and "mate" in the UK. One woman said "I call my son 'pal'," and I told her that if someone called me 'pal' in pretty much any part of the UK, I'd start slowly backing away from them. If they called me "cunt," though, I'd assume things were fine.

They didn't get it, but to my mind "pal" is one of the most loaded things you can be called over here. Hearing it instantly puts me on edge.

Saying "right..." before I stand up to leave.
I've found myself doing this so much more frequently as I've got older. Literally whenever I get up off a chair and intend to do something in another room - even if it's just pouring a glass of water.
 

Swimble_87

Member
Oct 27, 2017
379
You're asking me to make a cream tea incorrectly and this I cannot abide. I will die on this hill.

You have my sword.

The "very British problems" social media accounts always post little nuggets of Brit-isms that I find highly relatable - always good for a sensible chuckle (such as a dramatic overexcitement for pancake day)

The magpie thing is something my SO introduced me to and I have found myself starting to desperately search for a minimum of two if I find myself faced with only one - I don't consider myself superstitious but something about this has snared me :-(