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Ever look back and realize you were an asshole?
- Thread starter Error_404
- Start date
Not really. I used to be kinda flaky back in my teens, but everyone knew that (including me). I can be shitty towards racists and nazis, but I'd like to think that's ok.
Yes, more than I'd like to admit. I have moods like everybody else and occasionally they peek out from behind the curtain.
The kind of blissful ignorance in never feeling like an asshole afterward must be unbelievably freeing.
The kind of blissful ignorance in never feeling like an asshole afterward must be unbelievably freeing.
Oh yeah. Too many examples to list. I had to do a lot of soul searching after my divorce and had to be real with myself.
Looking back a lot of the jokes I told my friends were super hurtful and rude. Never said it in a mean spirit, but yeah I felt like a dick.
I don't have to look back; I'm currently an asshole. Plenty of people deserve the asshole response, so they receive it.
I got drunk in college and made out with my visiting long-time crush. I was pretty stoked until the morning when she was freaked out and didn't want to see me.
I didn't even figure out until ages later that she maybe thought I took advantage. We were both drunk and seemingly into it, but I didn't think of her perspective as I was so let down.
I didn't even figure out until ages later that she maybe thought I took advantage. We were both drunk and seemingly into it, but I didn't think of her perspective as I was so let down.
Yes. I used to lurk on PlanetCrap, way back starting in... 2000 I guess?. It was the first forum I have ever visited. After some time, I began posting, and... I was young, and super dickish to a lot of people, and one time I insulted someone's mother, and the guy answered that his mother was dead. At the time, I countered with an even uglier insult, but during the years, I often remembered that exchange and felt horrible about it, and one day, a few months ago, I decided to go back to that forum, which is now as good as dead, and posted an apology for my stupid behavior way back when, and I adressed the poster who's mother I had insulted all those years back and apologised. He answered, and he was super moved, and told me he had forgotten the incident, but accepted my apology, and told me that I was a good man. That forgiveness really did mean a lot to me! A few weeks later I check the forum again, and learn that the guy had just died. And I cried for him, and was so happy so deep down that I got to ask for and receive his forgiveness. His name on PlanetCrap was Ergo. He was a good man.
Damn buddy. You acting out doesn't sound so bad considering the crap your mom put you through. How's a 13 year old supposed to respond to a mother telling her kids they're going to be killed and replaced my doubles. No wonder you where a little shit towards her.
Yeah but it's due to anxiety over being black and a bunch of other things in this country. Hate to derail the thread but you asked for it...
I could've been nicer all around but society told me I have to uphold be definitive masculine manly man all the time. There's so many expectations thrust on me all the time that it just gets to me and I make the wrong conversation choices. Having to be perfect all the time to everyone in all situations while simultaneously being the spokesman for black Americans is a wee bit too much to ask of some all the time as they age.
I was an asshole as a younger kid because a family member was dying then I moved in with a heavily emotionally, at times physically, and verbally abusive relatives, then college comes and brings a spotlight with it I've never had before. I accept being an asshole and my life got so much easier when I calmed down just taking things day by day.
I could've been nicer all around but society told me I have to uphold be definitive masculine manly man all the time. There's so many expectations thrust on me all the time that it just gets to me and I make the wrong conversation choices. Having to be perfect all the time to everyone in all situations while simultaneously being the spokesman for black Americans is a wee bit too much to ask of some all the time as they age.
I was an asshole as a younger kid because a family member was dying then I moved in with a heavily emotionally, at times physically, and verbally abusive relatives, then college comes and brings a spotlight with it I've never had before. I accept being an asshole and my life got so much easier when I calmed down just taking things day by day.
In my late teenage years, I used to get remarkably pissy about censorship, and was very anti-PC. Sometimes I feel like, if I hadn't happened across this community, I might have found myself going down that GamerGate rabbit hole.
*shudder*
*shudder*
Only because i could be extremely vindictive. I was always the kind nice one unless i felt wronged, then i would be an extreme asshole.
In my late teens I got wrapped up in how easy it is to be petty on the internet. Made friends with people who only wanted to be unhappy in a group setting. I own up to whatever bullying I did and told all the people who were still assholes out of my life. When I see my newer internet friends making the same mistakes (getting wrapped up in useless internet bullshit I tell them it's not worth it
Deleted member 3837
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Of course. If someone can't think of a time in the past they were a huge asshole, it's likely they're still a huge asshole and just don't realize it.
I've done and said a lot of bad stuff in the past, and even though I have apologized and tried to make amends where possible it is and probably will continue to be a source of regret in my life.
I hope to continue to improve in becoming a better person, but it's going to take a lot of work and I have to be willing to work at it every day and understand it's going to come with a lot of struggle and the realization that the more I look into the past the more of a jerk I will realize I was.
Hopefully, in ten years I look back on myself and realize what a jerk I was. That would be ideal.
I've done and said a lot of bad stuff in the past, and even though I have apologized and tried to make amends where possible it is and probably will continue to be a source of regret in my life.
I hope to continue to improve in becoming a better person, but it's going to take a lot of work and I have to be willing to work at it every day and understand it's going to come with a lot of struggle and the realization that the more I look into the past the more of a jerk I will realize I was.
Hopefully, in ten years I look back on myself and realize what a jerk I was. That would be ideal.
And how often were these asshole opinions and actions on social media? And just how famous are you? Yeah, it can be pretty easy to wreck someones career. Lucky you're all nobody's, like me.
Yes, especially considering some things with the parents. But these are things from years ago, I've been in great terms with everyone in the family for a long while but every now and then just sitting alone and not doing anything, the mind starts to remember old things you'd just rather disappear forever.
Just the other day at work I got an email where a co-worker warned me I did something wrong but he basically covered for me. It didn't seem mean spirited but in reviewing what he said I did, the guidelines I adhered to had not changed as he said with such authority in the email. I meant to email him back before a conference call later that afternoon because I knew he'd be on the call as well. I wasn't able to send the email which was cool - I could just bring it up after - but dude brought it up in the call saying in general terms he just wanted everyone to check to make sure we are all following proper procedure because it may cause problems for other people. Of course I chimed in that the particular procedure in question was originally supposed to end previously but there was no further notification from management or changes in any of our reference material indicating that it had in fact changed. Other people also voiced their confusion with the direction we are supposed to take but all said ultimately they do the same thing I do since it is still shown as the proper way in the reference material. Anyway, it became clear to the person running the call we need some definite direction on this so it was noted as a point of interest, so I don't feel bad about challenging him on the phone call. I just think my tone may have sounded a little more antagonistic than I'd liked. I mean his original email was just a "heads up" but I was pretty sure I was in the right as soon as I read it.
Of course. The one I think about most for some reason is when I was around 10 and me and my buddy stole a bunch of soda cups from our friend's dad's store. There was some scratch off contest thingy on the cups so we figured we were bound to win. Didn't get shit and turns out there was a camera in the back. Oof.
I used to take real pride in my ability to be an asshole. I thought I never let it out totally unprovoked, but my response would be so excessive that I became the asshole.
When you take pride in your ability to be an asshole, it turns out you aren't controlling it as well as you think you are. Took me losing several friendships over time before realizing that.
I was a kid then, and a completely different person now, but wish I had figured it out sooner.
When you take pride in your ability to be an asshole, it turns out you aren't controlling it as well as you think you are. Took me losing several friendships over time before realizing that.
I was a kid then, and a completely different person now, but wish I had figured it out sooner.
When I was in college, someone from our class had a crush on me. The interesting part is its not the kind of crush that fades away after a few days, weeks or months. It lasted for years. He was so outspoken about how much he likes me. But not in person. When we see each other at school, we basically don't really talk much. Unless it's school-related.
He became my friend and we are in the same circle of friends, so we all hang out and we eat out. That's when we started to have a real bond. He always messages me at any time of the day. Asking how's my day, if I already ate, what I am doing, or any questions just to talk to me. He would just find an excuse to start a conversation. He started giving me gifts, chocolates, and flowers. I don't want to give him false hope so sometimes I don't reply at his messages or I keep my replies short and uninterested. Months have passed and he asked if it was okay if he would court me. I said no. Of course, we were just students at that time and I barely have enough time for all the important things I have to do, mind having a relationship, I think it would be time-consuming and will just distract me with my studies. Even so, we decided to still be friends. Nothing changed, he still messages me and he genuinely cares about me. He mustered up the courage to ask me to go out with him and have a friendly date. Just the two of us. I decided not to go with him and I gave him whatever reason I find that would make sense at that time. Sometimes, he asks me to go with him on their family trip, of course, I also said no. I don't want to give his family the impression that I am somewhat a girlfriend or someone he's courting. After many times of him convincing me and me saying no to him, I finally agreed, with the condition that it would just be a friendly date. No more, no less. We watched movies, we ate at fast food restaurants, we watched sports live. All of it has the label of a friendly date. But he was still persistent and he still asks me to let him court me, but I still turn him down. Many times to the point that I lost count. Even if that was the case, he never failed to remind me how much he likes and misses me, and after all the rejections he got from me, he still says he loves me even if he's hurting because of me. This became a cycle for almost 2 years. He became tired of me, more like he became tired of being hurt because of me being so nonchalant about everything he gave me and everything he wants to offer. I was too naive at that time, I didn't know what I was missing.
A year passed, we have graduated and pursued our own careers. In the midst of busyness, sometimes we go out with our common friends to bond and catch up. I found out he's courting someone and he's happy with her. So, I was happy for him too. I just came from an almost relationship that didn't work out. But I was okay and I have moved on from that. He started messaging me again, but not as often as before, but he would still say he cares for me so if I have a problem or sad, I can always talk to him. But I didn't. I am not the kind of person who's okay with sharing her problems, even to my closest friends or family. Days passed, he said what he and the girl had didn't work out. Months have passed he said he still likes me. That what he felt for me before has never changed even after everything that happened. He asked me again, for the last time he said, if I am now willing to give him a chance. To court me, and prove himself to me. I didn't think thoroughly again, because if I did, maybe I am not writing this to share with you guys. I said no, I was too caught up with my own problems and I don't think having a relationship would be good for me, for both of us. So, I turned him down. He's now far away. On the other side of the world. A million miles between us and I still remember how foolish and a jerk I am to him. Maybe I liked him even before, but I was just denial. Realizing everything he went through because of me made me sad and regretful at the same time. He lost someone who didn't appreciate him, I lost someone who would do anything for me. So, I guess, he won.
He became my friend and we are in the same circle of friends, so we all hang out and we eat out. That's when we started to have a real bond. He always messages me at any time of the day. Asking how's my day, if I already ate, what I am doing, or any questions just to talk to me. He would just find an excuse to start a conversation. He started giving me gifts, chocolates, and flowers. I don't want to give him false hope so sometimes I don't reply at his messages or I keep my replies short and uninterested. Months have passed and he asked if it was okay if he would court me. I said no. Of course, we were just students at that time and I barely have enough time for all the important things I have to do, mind having a relationship, I think it would be time-consuming and will just distract me with my studies. Even so, we decided to still be friends. Nothing changed, he still messages me and he genuinely cares about me. He mustered up the courage to ask me to go out with him and have a friendly date. Just the two of us. I decided not to go with him and I gave him whatever reason I find that would make sense at that time. Sometimes, he asks me to go with him on their family trip, of course, I also said no. I don't want to give his family the impression that I am somewhat a girlfriend or someone he's courting. After many times of him convincing me and me saying no to him, I finally agreed, with the condition that it would just be a friendly date. No more, no less. We watched movies, we ate at fast food restaurants, we watched sports live. All of it has the label of a friendly date. But he was still persistent and he still asks me to let him court me, but I still turn him down. Many times to the point that I lost count. Even if that was the case, he never failed to remind me how much he likes and misses me, and after all the rejections he got from me, he still says he loves me even if he's hurting because of me. This became a cycle for almost 2 years. He became tired of me, more like he became tired of being hurt because of me being so nonchalant about everything he gave me and everything he wants to offer. I was too naive at that time, I didn't know what I was missing.
A year passed, we have graduated and pursued our own careers. In the midst of busyness, sometimes we go out with our common friends to bond and catch up. I found out he's courting someone and he's happy with her. So, I was happy for him too. I just came from an almost relationship that didn't work out. But I was okay and I have moved on from that. He started messaging me again, but not as often as before, but he would still say he cares for me so if I have a problem or sad, I can always talk to him. But I didn't. I am not the kind of person who's okay with sharing her problems, even to my closest friends or family. Days passed, he said what he and the girl had didn't work out. Months have passed he said he still likes me. That what he felt for me before has never changed even after everything that happened. He asked me again, for the last time he said, if I am now willing to give him a chance. To court me, and prove himself to me. I didn't think thoroughly again, because if I did, maybe I am not writing this to share with you guys. I said no, I was too caught up with my own problems and I don't think having a relationship would be good for me, for both of us. So, I turned him down. He's now far away. On the other side of the world. A million miles between us and I still remember how foolish and a jerk I am to him. Maybe I liked him even before, but I was just denial. Realizing everything he went through because of me made me sad and regretful at the same time. He lost someone who didn't appreciate him, I lost someone who would do anything for me. So, I guess, he won.
I try not to think about it. I didn't do anything truly bad, but I was a dick at times, and it caused friendships to completely break down over a large space of time.
No, I think it was the right thing not giving him false hope, for both of you. If you're not attracted, you're not attracted. That won't change no matter how much he gives his heart out and it would've ended in a toxic relationship if you started dating just because he wore you down.
