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EU Commission President greets female colleague by tussling her hair
- Thread starter Officer Big Mac
- Start date
Messing up someone's hair isn't custom anywhere. Stop gaslighting.
Still waiting on those receipts that slapping people and throwing their hair around is EU custom.
Please enlighten us with the name of this imaginary country where touching someone's hair is ok, without permission.
It's not. People are just resistant to change and delighted to point out potential hypocrisy, especially where it seems to give them license to avoid changing. We should come up with a name for people who want to conserve "customs" that denigrate people for no other reason than "that's just the way it is." Conservers. Conservationists. Something along those lines.
And I like how pointing out that this behavior is inappropriate immediately amounts to "you Americans", lol, that's rich
There are degrees of action that warrant levels or degrees of behavior in response.
Old man fluffing hair level of response = wow, that old shit shouldn't do that.
On the other hand, old man fluffing is NOT equal to sanctioning people off into groups whose opinions you do not agree with as you seem so eager to do.
He did it and should be told not to but I'm not gonna seriously try and reprimand an adult over fluffing hair; sit him in the corner until he admits he was wrong and hes sorry and will never do it again. Who is really being hurt in this scenario anyways?
Please tell me where it's basically fucking rape. Jesus, do you shit yourself whenever anyone touches you?
Ummmm, you're going to have to elaborate.
1. I started by saying the French folks in business DO in fact sometimes kiss or even embrace. This is 100% fact.
2. I noted that the etiquette of Diplomacy often relies on appearance of, rather than underlying friendship. Unless you're reacting to the idea that 100% of all diplomacy is pretend physical friendship. I'm sure you're not, because that would be absurd.
3. The "Vatican move" was a satirical flourish (or joke) based on something so obvious and frequently demonstrated that I shouldn't have to explain.
So, ummmm, I don't know what your "no" relates to.
User banned (1 month): trolling and hostility across a series of posts + history of similar behaviour
Fuck you. How fucking DARE you compare me to conservatives. I'm just not fucking afraid of human contact.
Who is being hurt by this? Who? The woman he harassed. Women everywhere who will continue to get harassed like this as long as it's popularized and okayed by influential people. And, frankly, men are hurting themselves by reinforcing toxic behavior.
So stop fucking downplaying this. If you're not comfortable reprimanding the guy then you can leave. There's literally no purpose to you defending him by being mad at those of us who take issue with the carelessness he's displayed.
Touching hair = harassment? You're fucking ridiculous. You're exactly the kind of person the alt-right take the piss out of and take advantage of.
you know how I can tell that you're male? Because you haven't been conditioned to be wary of other men's unwanted, unwarranted contact. Try living in my shoes for a day and see if you're not immediately recanting this asinine opinion.
His behaviour is completely inappropriate, especially in a professional setting. This thread is getting real fucking weird. Why is that so hard to admit?
So just so we're clear... you don't have any empathy at all in this situation. I guess that explains all the personal attacks.
HE TOUCHED HER FUCKING HAIR! HER FUCKING HAIR! If he'd touched her almost anywhere else I'd understand, but it's her fucking hair!
Lol at people who don't think randomly touching someone's hair and bouncing it around is harassment/misconduct. Try this shit in a professional setting and see how quickly you get a call from HR. The only difference is that it's coming from someone in a position of power who doesn't have to take responsibility for inappropriate behavior.
If only I'd known that when my grandfather tousled my hair, he was sexually harassing me. I could have had him die in prison instead of at home!
OP
OP
This is why the alt-right have all the power right now. Because we are far too eager to turn on each other and accuse each other of awful shit for nothing.
You don't get to mansplain harassment to a woman. Especially not a woman who has been assaulted and abused in the past.
Your grandfather does not have a professional relationship with you. You know your grandfather. He knows you. You have a familial bond. That example is so completely removed from this situation it's not even funny.
OP
OP
It wasnt after I posted that i got it. Oh well. I'm just a silly old man.
OP
OP
Lol, oh yeah, other men have NEVER had unwanted, unwarranted male contact. Never happens, ever.
I mean, in this thread that we are posting in about a specific topic of hair ruffling, there are at least 2 more pics of him doing this to men. Stop dragging your shit into this.
Oh snap. You're old and barely did something wrong. Call the police!!
No, seriously guys. If we DONT, then we are just empowering the world of trolls. Don't you see!!?? Were allowing this behavior to continue!!!
Hair fluffing =/= oppression of women
Period
OK, let's put aside what we all think about whether it is bad, or whether it should constitute sexual harassment, or whether any harm is intended, or any subjective moral feelings or emotions we may or may not have about this story. But let me be 100% objectively clear and correct - no feelings, no opinions, no SJWs or edgelords, or liberals, or alt-fighters or anything that happens subjectively:
In the US and to a certain extent in the UK and Canada, in 2018, in any corporation with an HR department, in any state, this behavior (basically everything from the OP to the gallery of Junckers asinine shenanigans) would be unacceptable and at the very, very least, result in a warning and possibly counseling. Because it happened publicly, it would be a shitshow. This isn't my opinion, it's what would happen. She might, for all I know, absolutely LOVE being patronized by her boss ina. Public physical fashion. I'm not kidding, I don't know what their direct relationship is, but it's irrelevant.
Now, if male bosses run around in Europe, or Australia, or Outer Jabronia and it's all normal and socially acceptable, then fine - you're also allowed to be mad about it, think it's all a big fuss about nothing, or outrage culture, or whatever else you want to think. Go nuts. Make an argument for that position. But the fact remains, the bolded text is factually and demonstrably true, and while there will be plenty of exceptions - that's the current rule. And it's been like that for almost the whole time I've worked in big companies. I've seen people get fired for much less, and I've seen people get away with much worse, but the point of my post is simply a reminder and statement of objective facts and standards in places where I'm, deeply familiar with the work environment and HR practices and norms.
Personally? I think that having strict, even seemingly draconian or unreasonable guidelines for what constitutes unwelcome physical behavior, helps clarify things at a level of simplicity everyone can understand, so that extremes are prevented by a buffer, and that nuance is surrounded by a kind of common sense moat. Nobody is harmed by not tousling the hair of their subordinates. Nobody is oppressed by not getting to hug the receptionist in a purely friendly manner. None of this means millions of dudes are being fired for hi-fiving a colleague or shaking hands wrong, or commenting on the color of a sweater.
There are going to be cultural exceptions. There are going to be relationships in workplaces where there's a closer understanding and mutual respect and more physicality that comes from that.
There will be injustices, and occasionally a truly innocent dude or woman is going to get fired or demoted or punished for pure bullshit. But trust me when I say that those are all vastly outnumbered by bosses exhibiting absolutely astoundingly inappropriate, hostile, sexual or even violent behavior. They are dwarfed by the number of clueless young dudes hitting aggressively and persistently on uninterested colleagues, and they're overshadowed by people in positions of power, regardless of gender, abusing that power and puttting their staff in awkward positions from which they have no easy recourse to stop it.
In short, Junckers should stop it and he should have a stern chat with HR about the liability he's creating for their origanization. And it looks fucking ridiculous too. He should know better.
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If this had happened in the us or UK, I wouldn't have commented in this thread at all, straight up. I think the behavior is uncalled for, I just thought the response to said behavior was also uncalled for. I honestly believe people should keep their hands to themselves, I just dont see why people were going nuts over...this. anyways, just to clarify my own opinion, touching people unwarranted is wrong. I dont even do that to my closest friends. I was just looking at it from an outside perspective.
Him fluffing the hair of men doesn't have anything to with if he's contributing to the oppression of women (hint: he is).
If you cannot understand that a man touching and playing with a random woman's hair, especially in a professional setting, isn't actively working against empowering women, you're clueless. It doesn't matter if he also does this to men (which is also not ok). Men aren't fucking oppressed or face the same type of challenges women do. It doesn't matter if he was aware of what he was doing or if he even cares.
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