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ERA, was I being a dick?

Dick?

  • Yes

    Votes: 333 32.9%

  • No

    Votes: 145 14.3%

  • Should have minded your own buisness.

    Votes: 535 52.8%
  • Total voters
    1,013
Status
Not open for further replies.
Replicant

Replicant

Attempted to circumvent a ban with an alt
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,380
MN
User Banned (3 Days): Slut Shaming
A girl I went out on a couple dates with years ago was still on my Facebook friends list. She has RA and has been posting about covid fear and ripping into anti-vaxxers for the past year, fair enough and I agree. But over the past week or so I've seen her post countless videos of her at bars and at concerts on dates and shit with no mask and no care in the world.

so tonight she updates her Facebook status and says she thinks she has covid and then goes on to blame anti-vaxxers. So I comment and say, ya know.."Take some responsibility for your actions", maybe stop going out to bars and shows and posting videos and tons of pics of you maskless in public around dudes you've just met.( I didn't say that last part to her) She quickly deletes the comment, then messages me over messenger asking what's my problem, I don't know her and what is she supposed to do, hide at home forever? She then says I'm a dick, tells me to shut the fuck up and then blocks me.

so am I a dick? I don't think so. While I agree anti-vaxxers are an issue, you can't lay blame entirely on them if you aren't doing what it takes to be safe. Vaccination alone doesn't cut it.
 
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DongBeetle

DongBeetle

Member
Oct 25, 2017
8,017
Vaccination would be enough alone if enough would vaccinate lol. Your comment would've been pretty obnoxious
 
super-famicom

super-famicom

Avenger
Oct 26, 2017
25,113
If the last time you saw her was on a date a few years ago, why is she still in your friends list? Just delete and don't worry about what she does.
 
Kuro

Kuro

Member
Oct 25, 2017
20,538
At most just DM them to be careful with packed, indoor areas if you care about the person. Otherwise just mind your own business and don't publicly blast that person lol.
 
OP
OP
Replicant

Replicant

Attempted to circumvent a ban with an alt
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,380
MN
super-famicom said:
If the last time you saw her was on a date a few years ago, why is she still in your friends list? Just delete and don't worry about what she does.
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She occasionally sends me messages and stuff like that. I don't care either way, it's just to me you can't blame everyone, when you don't take responsibility.
 
IDontBeatGames

IDontBeatGames

ThreadMarksman
Member
Oct 29, 2017
16,476
New York
Should've just minded your own business, honestly. The comment wasn't helpful and didn't achieve anything positive because it comes off as a rude. Since, you know, you seemingly haven't spoken to her in a long time (or often enough) which makes it seem like you seemingly don't know her well enough to say something like that and have it come off as a place of concern. While, sure, you may have been technically right, there was a better way to go about it if you were trying to give a comment that was legitimately thoughtful instead of "well, no shit you got COVID here's why (X,Y,Z, etc)" lol. At that point, you were better off just minding your own business and keeping it to yourself even if you're judging her from afar.
 

Deleted member 10560

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
5,135
I always find it weird when you have someone on a social media friends list and suddenly it's 'none of your business' when you comment on their post.

Like. What are we here for then? Lol.
 
Mekanos

Mekanos

▲ Legend ▲
Member
Oct 17, 2018
44,091
Replicant said:
Is it that weird to call someone out? I wasn't trying to be an asshole. I knew it wouldn't go well, but I think people need to be called out every now and then.
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Yes.

I'm immunocompromised and if I got COVID and someone told me "lol should have been safe" I'd tell them to kick rocks.
 
OP
OP
Replicant

Replicant

Attempted to circumvent a ban with an alt
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,380
MN
IDontBeatGames said:
Should've just minded your own business, honestly. The comment wasn't helpful and didn't achieve anything positive because it comes off as a rude. Since, you know, you seemingly haven't spoken to her in a long time and you seemingly don't know her well enough to say something like that and have it come off as a place of concern. While, sure, you may have been technically right, there was a better way to go about it if you were trying to give a comment that was legitimately thoughtful instead of "well, no shit you got COVID here's why (X,Y,Z, etc)" lol. At that point, you were better off just minding your own business and keeping it to yourself even if you're judging her from afar.
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Let me clarify, it's not as if we don't speak, she comments on my social media and sometimes we send messages back and fourth, but no I have t actually seen her in a couple years. Regardless, I don't think that matters.
 
NinjaScooter

NinjaScooter

Member
Oct 25, 2017
54,064
Replicant said:
Is it that weird to call someone out? I wasn't trying to be an asshole. I knew it wouldn't go well, but I think people need to be called out every now and then.
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to even care enough to call someone out who you barely even know and seemingly only have one of those barely real, shallow "social media friends" types of relationships with? Yeah.
 
CloseTalker

CloseTalker

Member
Oct 25, 2017
30,512
Nothing worthwhile would (or did) come of it, should've just moved on. There are approximately zero instances when telling someone how they should actually have solved a problem is a good use of time.
 
OP
OP
Replicant

Replicant

Attempted to circumvent a ban with an alt
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,380
MN
Mekanos said:
Yes.

I'm immunocompromised and if I got COVID and someone told me "lol should have been safe" I'd tell them to kick rocks.
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I'm imucomoromised as well, work in a school and I take precautions myself. The entire reason why I called her out is her relentless blaming others for the past year about not getting vaccinated and not taking precautions, not masking, but then she doesn't do it herself. I felt like calling her out. What can ya do.
 
PaulloDEC

PaulloDEC

Visited by Knack
Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,406
Australia
"Mind your own business" kinda goes out the window when you post a public status update on a platform that supports comments. If you don't want people to read and reply, don't post status updates.

That being said, OP's message is definitely one of those comments that I'd compose in my head but never actually write. No good can come of a message like that, even if the person has it coming.
 
FelRes

FelRes

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
817
CA
lol what is this thread, you people usually jump at the littlest opportunity to blast someone
 
IDontBeatGames

IDontBeatGames

ThreadMarksman
Member
Oct 29, 2017
16,476
New York
Replicant said:
Is it that weird to call someone out? I wasn't trying to be an asshole. I knew it wouldn't go well, but I think people need to be called out every now and then.
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It's not that weird to call someone out but if you're gonna do it, there was a much better way to do that. What you did is the exact opposite of how to call someone out because it comes off as you viewing her in a lower light and judging her even though you don't even know her that much (as you say below). It just makes you seem like a judgmental person who's a know it all rather than person who's trying to have an open dialogue with someone about a serious topic because you genuinely feel like they're in the wrong.
Replicant said:
Let me clarify, it's not as if we don't speak, she comments on my social media and sometimes we send messages back and fourth, but no I have t actually seen her in a couple years. Regardless, I don't think that matters.
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It does matter, though. You're calling someone out on something and you don't even know them that well. You're judging someone, publicly on their profile by the way, and you don't seemingly understand that there's levels to how you talk to people, especially people who you don't talk to often. It's about having some sort of mutual respect or at least some respect for them if you're gonna do what you do because a conversation like that (COVID, taking COVID precautions) is a fairly important one and is a serious topic at this point in time. Sure, she may have made bad decisions and publicly showed this but that doesn't mean that you should publicly call her out the way you did and not expect her exact reaction cause who are you to judge someone you barely know? lol. It's different if it's a close friend or a family member because there's a different level of a relationship in comparison to this.

And on top of this, you say you don't care but here you are making an Era thread trying to seek some level of validation because you're actively trying to figure out if you were being a dick lol.
 
Chosen Onez

Chosen Onez

Alt-Account
Banned
Nov 14, 2021
87
If you pick wars with people (even if you think you got the moral high ground), don't be surprised and cry for validation later when they answer it.

super super weird of you to tell her "in your countless photos with dudes you've just met".
 
Quixzlizx

Quixzlizx

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,591
1. I agree with your position

2. However, this is outweighed by you apparently having every person you've ever interacted with on your friends list.
 
OP
OP
Replicant

Replicant

Attempted to circumvent a ban with an alt
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,380
MN
PaulloDEC said:
"Mind your own business" kinda goes out the window when you post a public status update on a platform that supports comments. If you don't want people to read and reply, don't post status updates.

That being said, OP's message is definitely one of those comments that I'd compose in my head but never actually write. No good can come of a message like that, even if the person has it coming.
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I choose violence. And I also didn't think it was a dick movie either. I don't care either way that she blocked me. I'm just trying to gauge what others think. I guess her post just irrated me knowing how much she complained about people not choosing to be safe.
 
Laserbeam

Laserbeam

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,437
Canada
i guess I'd say you were kind of being a dick, but also probably aren't wrong.

Not that it matters, cause I think it's best to just roll your eyes and scroll on by, to be honest.
 
SmackDaddy

SmackDaddy

Member
Nov 25, 2017
3,136
Los Angeles
She's being a dick by furthering misinformation. I think her bullshit is causing more damage than your bullshit, but it's still bullshit.

Ooo yeah the thing about "other dudes" is kinda incel-ish. Think you coulda broached it in a much better way.
 
timshundo

timshundo

CANCEL YOUR AMAZON PRIME
Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,156
CA
I mean she's got a point ahaha

i did something like this a long time ago when I had a Facebook. A guy I hung out with a few times was posting a shit ton of those "Just admit it, you never cared about me" or like "I hope you're happy, bye forever." types of wall posts. Kinda annoying. I either commented or messaged him and said "why not just tell him directly how you feel?" And he instantly blocked me.

but at least I KNEW I was being a dick lol
 
Mekanos

Mekanos

▲ Legend ▲
Member
Oct 17, 2018
44,091
SmackDaddy said:
She's being a dick by furthering misinformation. I think her bullshit is causing more damage than your bullshit, but it's still bullshit.

Ooo yeah the thing about "other dudes" is kinda incel-ish. Think you coulda broached it in a much better way.
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What misinformation did she further, exactly?
 
bananab

bananab

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,853
You were weird here. Sorry. I do it sometimes too. Practice letting someone else say it in the comments, or go talk about it and "be right" to someone in more general "you'll never guess what I saw online" type conversations with someone close to you.
 
TheSpaceBetween

TheSpaceBetween

Member
Jan 11, 2018
9,652
Not sure if it's worth calling people out, but I have very little sympathy for someone like her with behavior like that. Mask the fuck up even if you are vaxed people.
 
Merc_

Merc_

▲ Legend ▲
Member
Oct 28, 2017
6,523
If she's posting her shit publicly then you are fine commenting on it.

lol at people telling you to mind your own business after making a public post.
 
OP
OP
Replicant

Replicant

Attempted to circumvent a ban with an alt
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,380
MN
Chosen Onez said:
If you pick wars with people (even if you think you got the moral high ground), don't be surprised and cry for validation later when they answer it.

super super weird of you to tell her "in your countless photos with dudes you've just met".
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I didn't use those words to her at all. I was just describing to you guys what I saw. All I said was you have to take responsibility for your own actions.

not seeking validation here, just seeing what the generally thoughts are here. I knew it wouldn't lead to anything positive, but I don't think I was being a dick but telling her she needs to take some responsibility
 
Friskykillface

Friskykillface

Member
Nov 27, 2017
29,976
California
I'd have deleted her ages ago if we met only for dates and just a couple a few years back

I just leave people alone with Covid and taking precautions , they should know it's still out there but that's on them, I can't control them
 
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