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fertygo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
8,567
I feel I already waste a lot of opportunity in my life due to overthinking and self doubting, be cautious is good but if you still back out even if you know you can take the hit its became the opposite. Done that too many time and I gonna try to change that this year.
 

Baji Boxer

Chicken Chaser
Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,380
Thank god this thread isn't about what I thought it was going to be about lol.
 

Hecht

Blue light comes around
Administrator
Oct 24, 2017
9,735
I feel I already waste a lot of opportunity in my life due to overthinking and self doubting, be cautious is good but if you still back out even if you know you can take the hit its became the opposite. Done that too many time and I gonna try to change that this year.
Cautiousness is good, but overcautiousness is not. Obviously if it's something dangerous (for instance, I will never say "yes" to skydiving unless I was kidnapped and put on a plane) you can make a case for not going with it, but if it's something like going out with friends (COVID notwithstanding) or trying something new that's relatively harmless, just remind yourself to try it out.

Start small. Maybe make a list of things that you've always wanted to try but didn't have the werewithal to go through with it, like new foods. Give it a shot.
 

Fat4all

Woke up, got a money tag, swears a lot
Member
Oct 25, 2017
92,904
here
just do it, throw caution to the wind and stop at the Lion's Den sex shop you see advertised on highway billboards
 
OP
OP
fertygo

fertygo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
8,567
Is the term really sound that bad in US?
I dont think that far I guess lol 🤷
 

FerrisBueller

Member
Jul 15, 2018
2,873
UK
Good things will happen and bad things will happen no matter what you do. You might as well take the risk to do something good when they come along.

Maybe look back at things you've backed out of and see if the possible negatives outweigh the regret you feel from not doing them.
 

julia crawford

Took the red AND the blue pills
Member
Oct 27, 2017
35,286
If you don't do it it won't happen. That's the cost. Things don't happen. Which is a big thing. It's a big gamble for things not to happen. Your life will be a net negative if nothing happens.
 

HououinKyouma

The Wise Ones
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
8,366
I feel you OP. I've been the guy that calculates everything and tries to make the pragmatic choice every single time. But I want to break away from that so badly. This type of thinking may be "optimal" but it hasn't made me happy. In fact, I'm the complete opposite - I'm ironically an anxious mess of a human right now.

Work especially has been disastrously terrible, and I know just quitting would be make me an instantly happier person. I know, quitting during COVID? Are you serious? But I am.

I'm always reminded of the study they did on a pottery class. They told half of the class they'd be graded on the best pot they made, and they other half on the quantity of pots they made, regardless of quality. The quantity group ended up making better pots, since they were trying and failing at a lot of things, while the other class was fretting over being "perfect".

For me, it was the realization that no one was coming to save me and make my life interesting - that was up to me. And the real risk in life isn't in failing, it's in never trying. Even mistakes aren't all bad - half of the stories I have now are from things I fucked up along the way, but it's funny now that I've grown from it.

"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are built for"
Wow, I'm usually not a big quote guy, but I love that.
 
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Stencil

Member
Oct 30, 2017
10,378
USA
9tkuXTo.jpg
 

Nostremitus

Member
Nov 15, 2017
7,777
Alabama
At some point you have to just say "fuck it, I'll weather the outcome." I should have bought a house years ago but was always afraid to pull the trigger until two years ago.
 

samoyed

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
15,191
I think you know about our gun culture. Well trigger happy has pretty negative connotations in the context of our gun culture, it would probably be a more reasonable phrase for other countries but here it sounds like you're about to shoot up the school.
 

mbpm

Member
Oct 25, 2017
23,618
didn't know we had Seal Team 6 members on ERA

but also I need to do this too in terms of important things (not impulsive purchases on things I don't need)
 

Mendrox

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
9,439
Work especially has been disastrously terrible, and I know just quitting would be make me an instantly happier person. I know, quitting during COVID? Are you serious? But I am.

I have been there but I got fired a few months ago and a bit glad that it happened. On the hand it's a bit of a bad timing, but on the other hand I finally did it and I still get paid normally till May and I can use my time to learn some new things. I guess it was about time after so many years. :)
 

MrNewVegas

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,720
Through years of playing poker and reading on game theory, I can confirm people in general are not aggressive enough on decision making.
 

Muu

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
1,970
I feel you op. You miss 100% of the swings you don't make. Been making excuses as to why I shouldn't look around for different jobs, and over this last week I started applying. Not going to put out A+ efforts but it'll be better than doing absolutely nothing.
 

Deleted member 4461

User Requested Account Deletion
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
8,010
I feel I already waste a lot of opportunity in my life due to overthinking and self doubting, be cautious is good but if you still back out even if you know you can take the hit its became the opposite. Done that too many time and I gonna try to change that this year.

Someone I respect made it her goal to reach a certain number of failures in a year.

It helps to reframe failing as part of the process to success.

So get out there and fail, and you'll find yourself with more opportunities than ever before.
 

Tater

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,592
I feel I already waste a lot of opportunity in my life due to overthinking and self doubting, be cautious is good but if you still back out even if you know you can take the hit its became the opposite. Done that too many time and I gonna try to change that this year.

I'm always reminded of the study they did on a pottery class. They told half of the class they'd be graded on the best pot they made, and they other half on the quantity of pots they made, regardless of quality. The quantity group ended up making better pots, since they were trying and failing at a lot of things, while the other class was fretting over being "perfect".

For me, it was the realization that no one was coming to save me and make my life interesting - that was up to me. And the real risk in life isn't in failing, it's in never trying. Even mistakes aren't all bad - half of the stories I have now are from things I fucked up along the way, but it's funny now that I've grown from it.

"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are built for"
 

Xando

Member
Oct 28, 2017
27,322
I feel I already waste a lot of opportunity in my life due to overthinking and self doubting, be cautious is good but if you still back out even if you know you can take the hit its became the opposite. Done that too many time and I gonna try to change that this year.
I used to be like this and it completely changed my life to stop giving too many shits about what others think and just do what i want.

In my experience taking a risk pays off more often than not.

It sounds dumb but you just have to follow what you want and stick with it. Even if it doesn't pay off instantly you'll be happier than before.
 

SwampBastard

The Fallen
Nov 1, 2017
11,040
"Don't be afraid to try something. It never hurts as bad as you think to fail. You seldom regret what you do. You regret what you didn't do. Don't try to be invulnerable. Don't worry too much about security. If you build a wall around yourself, you become a prisoner of that wall. Take a chance!"
-Hugh Downs
 

SilkySm00th

Member
Oct 31, 2017
4,803
Buy the ticket, take the ride.

There aint nothing more than this, my guy. You might as well get something more than mundane routine out of it. Go fuck shit up.
 

ROM

Member
Dec 28, 2017
97
As someone who has dealt with choice paralysis his entire life, I find it best to simply start by tackling the actual issue: a fear of failure. Every mistake you make teaches you something you didn't know. When you reframe failure as an opportunity to grow instead of a sign of loss, it stops being so scary. I started off by taking risks as small as getting different protein bars at work (I work at a grocery store). While it might suck to blow money on a terrible bar, what I took from it is now I never have to worry about missing out on that specific thing and now I can try other ones to find new favorites. In fact recently, my tire blew out and I went to buy a used one off a recommended mechanic. Thinking about it after the fact, I might have gotten ripped off a bit, but I don't regret it because it wasn't a big loss/high stakes situation and now I know that next time, I will be more informed about what to look for in a used tire and what a good price is. No pain, no gain brother. Sometimes you just have to make smaller, painful mistakes to save you from making more regretful ones in the future.

I'm not saying to go off and buy a house or go diving off a cliff, but just go make a lot of mistakes. Take it slow, start off small, and build your decision making muscles gradually.
 
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Baccus

Banned
Dec 4, 2018
5,307
Don't quit preemptively. Say yes to everything, then bail out /after/ the fact if necessary. But don't say no, either physically or mentally, to almost anything. Our limited minds cannot adequately judge any situation without first hand experience.

Also, follow your dreams.
 

boxter432

The Fallen
Oct 28, 2017
9,271
I am TERRIBLE at decision making, from what to eat and other simple choices, however on big decisions I have actually been pretty quick: my first condo, car purchases, deciding to marry my now wife etc... and going for them has been for the best.