Engagement Ring |OT| Spoil Me Rotten

[Thunder]

Engagement Ring |OT|

A thread dedicated to helping , advising and general talk about buying engagement rings and everything in between. If your engaged i'd love to see what type of ring you have so feel free to post a picture.

"Diamonds are a girls best friend" so the saying goes.. but recently a wave of alternative gemstones have seen a surge. White Sapphire and Moissanite seeing the largest uptake. More and more consumers are choosing to be more eco friendly and would rather avoid a gemstone that was mined in a conflict zone. Also alternatives like lab grown diamonds are almost 30% cheaper than a natural diamond. But non the less Diamonds are still the preferred choice by many which is 100% fine so feel free to say why you chose your ring.

So Era if you're engaged, married or in a civil partnership feel free to share the process you and your partner took in finding the perfect ring.
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(I'll add more links during the day for websites you can use to find rings at a good price )

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[ElectricBlanketFire]

The "salary" rule is bullshit.

 

[onadesertedisland]

Diamonds are bougie, wasteful, ethically questionable, and boring. Every time I see a big-ass diamond on person's hand (like a 2 carat), I don't think it's something they should be proud of.

 

[lt519]

Yeah, the salary rule is nonsense. Get the ring that fits your partner, not by some other standard.

I went through a long arduous process but had a very good experience with Blue Nile. The ability to enter in the exact dimensions and specifications of a diamond and to be able to view it's charts and have them take pictures is way more than enough assurance that I was getting a good diamond. Price was great as well. Not to mention you can always send it back if you don't like it. You'll pay waaaaay less than a Mom & Pop shop and likely end up with a better diamond anyway. (I still have all the specifications if someone is interested).

One thing I chose to do and my wife loves it is get one with Fluorescence as the price is driven way down. What it is is the diamond gives off a blue tint when under direct sun or UV light. It gives it some character.

In the end I'd always go for getting a ring with good cut, symmetry, and color, the thing will sparkle like no other which catches way more eyes than something big. Money is better spent on those things than size.

Also taking your partner "setting" shopping is a good idea as well. I got a temporary setting and proposed to her with that and then we went shopping together so she could pick a setting and a wedding band that matched.

The pricescope Rocky Talk forums are also a great place for advice. There are a ton of ways to get the most bang for your buck by picking exact dimensions as certain depths, table widths, etc give better "sparkle" than others (another advantage of Blue Nile) and that's not always an obvious thing to look at.

 

[Finale Fireworker]

My SO and I made an agreement that whoever proposed couldn't spend more than $1,000 on the engagement ring. I stuck to that rule and I don't think either of us would have had it any other way. In retrospect we could have done even less, but you can get something really nice for that price. It depends on what your expectations are.

I'd actually not heard of moissanite before.

 

[Acinixys]

Its not 1920. You don't need to buy an exorbitantly expensive ring.

I took my girl shopping to get an idea of what she wanted.

Ended up spending $200 for something she loves.

Dont fall into the trap if thinking rings abd weddings should cost the earth.

 

[Tangyn]

We are getting married in April in a working office because my country is borderline retarded and it might help her in the future.

No engagement as such and no rings.

Super romantic ;)

 

[Aurongel]

Salary rule is just some bullshit that was invented in a board room filled with marketting executives and a show of hands. Same applies to the phrase "diamonds are a girl's best friend".

I've had several friends purchase moissanite rings and they've had pretty great things to say about them. I'm certainly no expert in the finer details of gem cutting but in my opinion a well cut moissanite stone to me exhibits most of the characteristics that people find flattering about diamonds. I even had a friend buy one from Amazon for $400 and it looked better than the diamond one my uncle used to propose to his now ex-wife.

 

[MadScientist]

Might seem like a risky thing, but I bought my now wife's ring online (bluenile.com). She wanted a ring that sparkled, so I was able to customize the diamond and color to be more white (less yellowish tint) thus shiny. The clarity isn't perfect and if you used a microscope you could see some flaws, but who cares! Plus their diamonds are certified and registered...so legit there. I bought mine for $3000 and it was appraised for $5500. Glad I didn't go to a jeweler. Only nerve wracking thing is spending that kind of money and having it getting shipped. I think they also have a 30 day return policy, though I never needed it.

 

[meow]

Supposedly you shouldn't use moissanite if you're going for micro or pave stones, as they apparently tend to crack easily at smaller sizes. Some jewelers won't work with moissanite that small, so especially for things like side stones or pave settings where stones are more easily lost, it might make more sense to get small diamonds. Small diamonds aren't very expensive and are probably easier to source than small moissanites.

As you noted, they do sparkle slightly differently so some people worry the stones won't quite "match".

 

[Soda]

That price-per-carat claim is misleading. It might be $4,000 for a 1 carat diamond, but a 2 carat diamond is more than double the price.

 

[Thunder]

Supposedly you shouldn't use moissanite if you're going for micro or pave stones, as they apparently tend to crack easily at smaller sizes. Some jewelers won't work with moissanite that small, so especially for things like side stones or pave settings where stones are more easily lost, it might make more sense to get small diamonds. Small diamonds aren't very expensive and are probably easier to source than small moissanites.

As you noted, they do sparkle slightly differently so some people worry the stones won't quite "match".

Click to shrink...

Yeah I'm leaning towards a Oval Halo will conflict free diamond studs down the side and a forever one moissanite center stone. I've seen one before and it blew me away.

 

[Landy828]

The ring I got my fiancee (and our newborn's hand). All the real deal. I'm not a fan of dropping money on diamonds, but they were important to her..and that's all that matters.

(made sure it was sourced from a good place)

My ring cost $20...because I couldn't care less about anything other than what it represents, lol.

She was married once, as was I, but her marriage was horrible. Married in a court room, abusive partner, $100 ring...etc. I'm treating her to a dream wedding because she's an awesome person that deserves it.

 

[Shorty11857]

Only got engaged last month, she always told me she hated diamonds. So ended up getting her a blue sapphaire and she really loved it.

Also definitely didn't follow the "salary" rule, plus she probably would have killed me if I spent that much on a ring.

 

[Falchion]

Today I leaned what a Moissaint is.

 

[Deleted member 3183]

Moissanite is neat, but damn, could they have not come up with a better word for it?

For what it's worth, I bought my wife's ring when we got engaged many years ago from Tiffany. A .5ct solitaire - was about $5000ish. I don't regret it by any means, but perhaps if I was looking now, I would've spent a bit less.

 

[night814]

There's only one thing to do and that's discuss it with your partner way before you actually get the ring. Find out what kind of jewelry they like or if one of their friends gets engaged ask their opinion on the ring(stone, band, color). You'll find out exactly what they themselves want.

 

[Landy828]

Moissanite is neat, but damn, could they have not come up with a better word for it?

For what it's worth, I bought my wife's ring when we got engaged many years ago from Tiffany. A .5ct solitaire - was about $5000ish. I don't regret it by any means, but perhaps if I was looking now, I would've spent a bit less.

Click to shrink...

A half carat for $5k, Holy crap they ripped you off :(.

I handpicked all her diamonds. Center is .97 carat, side diamonds and her bands for wedding put it at 1.47 carats. Center diamond is serial # laser etched/registered (having a brain fart, can't remember what that is called).

Paid $4200 for ring and both bands.

 

[Skel1ingt0n]

A half carat for $5k, Holy crap they ripped you off :(.

I handpicked all her diamonds. Center is .97 carat, side diamonds and her bands for wedding put it at 1.47 carats. Center diamond is serial # laser etched/registered (having a brain fart, can't remember what that is called).

Paid $4200 for ring and both bands.

Click to shrink...

From a "name brand" (Tiffany, Cartier, HoF), that first full carat is gonna be $10k+. What you have to understand is we're all getting ripped off if you're buying a diamond, period. You can ask "why would you spend so much for a brand that doesn't matter?" But one can counter the brand name is the only thing making a worthless rock valuable.

Ultimately, whether you spend $50 or $50,000 on a ring; the only thing that matters is you get what they'll be happy with both now and down the line in the future. The ring is the least important part of a relationship - or it should be. But do know other people are going to ask to see it and ask questions about it non stop for months.

 

[Transistor]

Got my wife's rings off of Amazon. Lab created emerald in a white gold band. She loves it.

Diamonds are for suckers and the salary rule is so damn stupid

 

[shintoki]

Found a ring shaped in a symbol she loves. Cost 190$. We done. Most girls I know never want some big ass thing that gets in the way.

 

[Malleymal]

Bought my wife her ring this past March from a diamond market... over 1 carat and she loves it. We didn't pay for a big wedding or anything so paying a little more for a ring was no issue.

 

[Drain You]

Going to keep an eye on this thread. My parents keep trying to convince me I need to spend atleast $5,000 on a ring. The girl I'm with isn't about spending a lot of money and she is more sentimental about something because of what it is and means.

 

[Power Shot]

Cubic zirconia is where it's at. Costs almost nothing and looks identical to a diamond. My wife didn't care what I got for her, so I nabbed a $30 ring off of Amazon with sterling silver and cubic zirconia. She knows, but no one else has ever been able to tell. Diamonds and jewelry in general are for suckers.

 

[Drain You]

Cubic zirconia is where it's at. Costs almost nothing and looks identical to a diamond. My wife didn't care what I got for her, so I nabbed a $30 ring off of Amazon with sterling silver and cubic zirconia. She knows, but no one else has ever been able to tell. Diamonds and jewelry in general are for suckers.

Click to shrink...

This is also something I think about a lot. My girlfriend of 6 years that I plan to propose to I know wouldn't mind. She'd be more excited that it actually happened and all that. If anything I think she'd be relieved that we could put the money saved to better use. Even if its just a fun day trip together or something. Reading this thread has relieved a lot of the expectations I've been hearing from family. I still plan on spending a decent chunk on a nice ring just cause thats how I am I guess, but am relieved I don't have to drop 5g's plus.

Edit: Nobody make fun of how many times I used the word relieved in that poor paragraph haha.

 

[Ryaaan14]

My girlfriend told me last week she wants moissanite and I almost feel like I should throw a party in celebration

Predicament has gone from what can I afford to what is too big

 

[Deleted member 11173]

I ended up getting a 2.25ct (7.5x7.5) Forever One Moissanite for my wife from SamnSue. We did the forever one because it had better clarity and was closer to an D-E-F Grade Diamond.

https://samnsue.com/engagement/mois...ature-diamond-halo-engagement-setting-2697yms
Beautiful Ring, I done did good, and saved myself $8000 compared to the diamond equivalent.
We ended up having an open bar at our wedding for 220 people... so that ate up most of the saved money.

Edit: Thought the prices went up, but they have been pretty stable, had to go pull up my order to check.

 

[wisdom0wl]

The whole diamond market is such bullshit. Unbelievable that it's still strong considering it should be widely known that it's not a rare stone.

 

[Deleted member 17092]

Eh, cz will look like shit pretty quickly, but its so cheap it's easily replaceable. And you actually can tell naked eye. So I dunno. But yeah no matter what don't drop more than you can afford on a ring, and then it shouldn't really matter what you do. And also buying huge CZs or mossy, people gonna know that shit isn't real immediately unless your fucking rich as hell, and at that point why not just get a diamond. 1ct well graded diamond will always be worth more than even a 3ct mossy. That shit isn't worth anything as soon as you buy it. And imo anything bigger than 1.5ct looks tacky as fuck anyway unless someone has giant ass hands. 2ct is nearly as wide as most people's fingers. Thats a bit overboard imo.

 

[Landy828]

Ultimately, whether you spend $50 or $50,000 on a ring; the only thing that matters is you get what they'll be happy with both now and down the line in the future. The ring is the least important part of a relationship - or it should be. But do know other people are going to ask to see it and ask questions about it non stop for months.

Click to shrink...

100% True. Forgot to mention I got the rings during Black Friday last year, cashed in on a one day 40% off sale. If you're going to do diamonds, always try to get in on a special promotion or sale. Just watch out for markups.

Going to keep an eye on this thread. My parents keep trying to convince me I need to spend atleast $5,000 on a ring. The girl I'm with isn't about spending a lot of money and she is more sentimental about something because of what it is and means.

Click to shrink...

Buy what makes her happy and what she hints at. I had my fiancee lay out like 10 designs she likes, the cuts she prefers, metals she prefers, etc. That way the ring was a surprise, but it fell into all her prefered choices.

Don't do what others push on you.

 

[Deleted member 11173]

Going to keep an eye on this thread. My parents keep trying to convince me I need to spend atleast $5,000 on a ring. The girl I'm with isn't about spending a lot of money and she is more sentimental about something because of what it is and means.

Click to shrink...

Bruhhh bruhhh, it can look like $5000 without being $5000. Just dont tell them.

 

[subpar spatula]

We knew we'd get engaged. We talked about it. We set a budget on the ring which was $15k. Went to a few shops but eventually found one she liked. Real diamond.

 

[Deleted member 17092]

We knew we'd get engaged. We talked about it. We set a budget on the ring which was $15k. Went to a few shops but eventually found one she liked. Real diamond.

Click to shrink...

But why is it so hard to score a goal?

 

[subpar spatula]

But why is it so hard to score a goal?

Click to shrink...

Fucking aliens is what it is.

 

[Drain You]

Landy828 great advice and I'm probably going to do exactly that.

Bruhhh bruhhh, it can look like $5000 without being $5000. Just dont tell them.

Click to shrink...

I'm the asshole that will buy a much cheaper ring, tell them I ended up spending more money than I really could afford or wanted and tell them they were right. Sit in that for about 3 years then tell them how much I really spent just to shove it in their faces.

 

[Deleted member 1589]

The practice is weirdly reversed here. My wife and I had simple designs for our engagement rings but spent a bit more on our wedding rings.

She's not really the type to care about the size of diamonds, and she loves rare stones more. When she was little she had always wanted a moonstone on her wedding ring, which took months to find but my mom actually found one with a brilliant blue glow.

Since we both work as designers, we decided to custom made our own. She chose a design where platinum and gold bands entwining with a few diamonds surrounding the moonstone. It's something we were both proud of. Mine was a simple ring with some markings to give it a bit more character and a cat's eye in the middle.

Both weren't expensive. Both rings if converted into USD probably cost us around $1.5k

 

[Landy828]

Click to shrink...

Nice rings. That bottom one looks like some kind of "power ring" from a movie. I like it.

 

[Macheezmo]

Spent $222 on a ring with both of our birthstones in it. She loves the ring and what it represents.

 

[obin_gam]

I bought 2 black shiny tungsten rings for 35 dollars a piece and havet regrettet it since

 

[R dott B]

I still have a brand new ring from my old engagement that I'm going to re-use.

There are no rules...

 

[mangopositive]

Here's the ring I got my wife a bit over 15 years ago. It cost me $2,000. the top ring was $500. I got it for Cristmas for her the year we got married. The bottom ring she just got for herself @ $600 to replace the plain old wedding band I got her. She's really self-conscious about her hand wrinkles. She loved her engagement ring her hand is small, so an overly large diamond wouldn't have worked for her.

 

[Deleted member 1589]

Nice rings. That bottom one looks like some kind of "power ring" from a movie. I like it.

Click to shrink...

Well she loves her JRPGs and anime so...

 

[Deleted member 3183]

A half carat for $5k, Holy crap they ripped you off :(.

Click to shrink...

Perhaps...

You could probably make an argument that pretty much all diamonds are a rip off, if not the entire jewelry industry. Just pressurized carbon at the end of the day. I went with it because that was the design that my wife really loved and it made her happy. Many years later, I don't regret spending what I did. I should probably add that it was $5k canadian, not USD.

 

[Kiddo76]

A half carat for $5k, Holy crap they ripped you off

Click to shrink...

But it's Tiffany's.

Eh, cz will look like shit pretty quickly, but its so cheap it's easily replaceable. And you actually can tell naked eye. So I dunno.

Click to shrink...

You absolutely can tell a CZ or simulated stone, even with the naked eye.

If you are concerned about mining, do your homework and buy ethical stones, or buy used. Seriously though, don't go fake or try to cut corners in this area. This is piece of jewelry she will wear everyday for the rest of her life. It's a symbol of your love and life together. It sends a clear message about the projection of the relationship. Put thought into it, think about what suits her. You don't have to brake the bank to do that.

 

[Nothing Loud]

Spending exorbitant amounts of money on something for fingers doesn't make sense to me. My husband and I are struggling financially so we didn't even buy rings until Black Friday, 6 months after our marriage. 30% off at Zales, gold-colored tungsten does us fine.

 

[Deleted member 8901]

From a "name brand" (Tiffany, Cartier, HoF), that first full carat is gonna be $10k+. What you have to understand is we're all getting ripped off if you're buying a diamond, period. You can ask "why would you spend so much for a brand that doesn't matter?" But one can counter the brand name is the only thing making a worthless rock valuable.

Ultimately, whether you spend $50 or $50,000 on a ring; the only thing that matters is you get what they'll be happy with both now and down the line in the future. The ring is the least important part of a relationship - or it should be. But do know other people are going to ask to see it and ask questions about it non stop for months.

Click to shrink...

I bought a Tiffany ring as well. Frankly, if you ask me I place more value on the Tiffany brand than on the diamond.

 

[Miss Piggy]

I was absolutely obsessed with expensive designer diamond rings for my first wedding (total of £20k), partly I suspect because I was projecting onto a material item to show how good the marriage was - when infact I was unhappy and didn't want to get married in the first place.

Now with my current long term boyfriend, I would genuinely be happy to buy a £100 Swarovski ring which looks the same as a £5k ring because I would simply be happy to be married to him and not have to save up for a symbol when our priority is saving for a house and kids.

P.S We are also planning on just a wedding inviting our parents and his brother.

Edit: I don't mean to belittle or invalidate other people buying expensive rings or the girl wanting an expensive ring because I've been there and I get it.

If you have the money (and time?), it's absolutely your choice and understandable to buy the best you can afford for something that lasts a lifetime and will make her happy.

From experience, I would much rather pick/design the ring as his tastes might differ and it would be me seeing it all the time. So the best romantic compromise could be a surprise proposal with a dummy ring then go ring shopping together.

I don't get the point of moissies because as another poster has pointed out, they're are usually so big that they will seem fake (as their main advantage is their low cost for a big stone) or if they're small, then you might as well stretch to buy a real diamond.

Apologies to anyone who did buy/want a moissy ring though, it's only my opinion and everyone has their own on something as personal and special as an engagement ring!

 

[Fitts]

The "salary" rule is bullshit.

Click to shrink...

Perfect first reply. Anything you've heard about money is bullshit. Buy the right ring for your SO.

Don't make the mistake I did. I researched for months and went way over the top. Had a ring custom made with a really fancy tension setting thinking I was going to blow her away. And it did... until she tried it on. My wife is small (maybe 5'0", ninety-something pounds) and, despite being the correct size, it was uncomfortable for her to wear. We ended up having the stones put into a basic ring and band and she's super happy with it.

Go simple and don't overthink it. Your SO loves you. You're all they need.

 

[Deleted member 7777]

Spent $2700 on a ring she picked out and loves. Pretty simple, but beautiful real diamond in an 18k white gold band. Going to give it to her tomorrow and pop the (unsurpising) question

 

[Deleted member 7777]

ps what's the salary rule supposed to be?