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Don't Assume Their Gender! hahaha

Vincent Alexander

Vincent Alexander

Member
Oct 26, 2017
19,729
Quick vent while I wait for a break to finish for a meeting I'm in, but....what on Earth is with the influx of people lately saying, "don't assume their gender!" in a sarcastic, "I'm being cute and funny" kind of way? Both in and out of work, I've heard the comment about 4 different times. Just today, it was someone commenting at a work meeting that I'm the only man in the training, and someone else responded, "well, you can't assume he's a man anymore!" She had a laugh, then referenced a recent harassment training we all had where a portion was about respecting other's gender, etc. etc. But she isn't only one. I've been hearing it all over.

Am I the only one noticing this lately? I need to find a good way to start responding to these outside of, "go fuck yourself."
 
goldenpp73

goldenpp73

Banned
Dec 5, 2017
2,144
The reason for it is pretty obvious i'd say, but I assume you know that and would just like to vent.
 
Rivenblade

Rivenblade

Member
Nov 1, 2017
37,116
Social change has an adjustment period. This is one of those periods. We'll be hearing this for quite a few years as the oldies and ignorant catch up.
 
Carthago Delenda Est

Carthago Delenda Est

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
6,119
It's to be expected as people acclimate to a new environment where this is actually taken seriously. It's different and incomprehensible to some people. A few years ago I made jokes like this. Nowadays, I've come to realize that some people really do take this seriously and making light of it disrespects them. Others will come to the same conclusion. Just be patient and don't laugh along.

I think calling these people bigots or transphobic based on it is a little extreme. Some of them undoubtedly are, but there are also undoubtedly people who just don't understand. Education is the right way forward, not shunning these people for not understanding what you already do.
 
ProfessorLobo

ProfessorLobo

Banned
Oct 31, 2017
1,523
I think there are ways that you can say it and its funny, but this is only assuming that you're an ally.

99% of the time it's anti trans stupidity.
 

Min

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,067
I don't know. If some cisgendered person is being transphobic I just start misgendering them in my conversations. 🤷‍♂️

Especially if they pull the don't assume my gender. I'd play it straight, apologize and then solely refer to them as the opposite pronoun. I'm just doing what they asked.
 
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corasaur

Member
Oct 26, 2017
3,988
trans awareness progressed enough that a bunch of transphobic people who used to never think about it are now paying enough attention to make asses out of themselves.
 

Deleted member 31817

Nov 7, 2017
30,876
I wish I could find it now but someone on Twitter called out right wingers for just telling the same joke about genders and someone replied like "we have as many jokes as liberals have genders" and the guy was like "that's the same joke".

I wish I could find it.

Anyway yeah it was never funny but now it's come to the point where people who use it are usually clueless assholes.
 
whatsinaname

whatsinaname

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,051
People have just found their new dog whistle because their previous words/phrases have been called out. Like the word thot. It'll stick around till it becomes unacceptable and they find their new phrase/word.

Psychoward said:
I wish I could find it now but someone on Twitter called out right wingers for just telling the same joke about genders and someone replied like "we have as many jokes as liberals have genders" and the guy was like "that's the same joke".

I wish I could find it.

Anyway yeah it was never funny but now it's come to the point where people who use it are usually clueless assholes.
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Carolina Reaper

Carolina Reaper

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
7,466
Vincent Alexander said:
Quick vent while I wait for a break to finish for a meeting I'm in, but....what on Earth is with the influx of people lately saying, "don't assume their gender!" in a sarcastic, "I'm being cute and funny" kind of way? Both in and out of work, I've heard the comment about 4 different times. Just today, it was someone commenting at a work meeting that I'm the only man in the training, and someone else responded, "well, you can't assume he's a man anymore!" She had a laugh, then referenced a recent harassment training we all had where a portion was about respecting other's gender, etc. etc. But she isn't only one. I've been hearing it all over.

Am I the only one noticing this lately? I need to find a good way to start responding to these outside of, "go fuck yourself."
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"what on Earth is with the influx of people lately saying"
"She had a laugh, then referenced a recent harassment training we all had where a portion was about respecting other's gender"

Some people respond well to sensitivity training, others get offended and treat it like they're being victimized. And some people just make jokes.
 
astro

astro

Member
Oct 25, 2017
56,875
muteKi said:
It's normalized anti-trans bigotry
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Not just trans, all gender fluid peoples too.

It's this kind of every day bigotry that gives me pause to let my friends know I'm non-binary. Close friends are super supportive, but some on the fringe will definitely roll their eyes at me.
 
Frozenprince

Frozenprince

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,158
It's that, the attack helicopter bit, and like one other joke (usually screaming) and that's about all they have.

Obligatory "the right is getting better at comedy" insert here.

It's sad, they can't even like, be creative and mine anything resembling a joke from anything, it's all textbook juvenile "hurr you're a fag" level humor that you grow out of when you're 14 years old.

Which, is their primary target audience (that and 60 year olds who never grew up or are desperate to be young again) so I guess that's not a surprise.
 
RDreamer

RDreamer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,102
It pisses me off but thankfully I haven't heard it in a while. A couple years back I heard it so many times from the customer base that comes into my business. Largely late High School/Early College men. Would piss me off a ton.

That and making fun of being triggered.
 
Danton

Danton

Member
May 31, 2019
85
Reactionary joke that brainlets repeat ad nauseum because they thought it was hilarious the first time they heard it.

Pretty much on par with "I identify as a attack helicopter" as far as lazy, unfunny, discriminatory jokes towards trans people go.
 
CopperPuppy

CopperPuppy

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,636
I've actually heard this numerous times over the last couple years as well, and it never fails to piss me off. Just such a snide, cowardly, spineless comment that people think will sound like a harmless joke when they are really trying to be hateful.

I got heated on an in-law once lmao, let my temper get the better of me. Things got awkward but he watches his mouth now
 
Wreck We Em

Wreck We Em

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
797
Gotta call people out on their bullshit and let them know it's not OK

Only way to stop this sort of thing spreading around...at least in the workplace
 
Finale Fireworker

Finale Fireworker

Love each other or die trying.
Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,710
United States
As others have mentioned, it's outright transphobia from people who think it's funny to punch down. It's also a codified and certified Right Wing Joke™ that morons like Ben Shapiro, who are dumb as rocks, think are clever.

A big reason people tell jokes is to feel superior. Getting a laugh at somebody else's expense is an innately uplifting feeling for some people because it lifts them up and puts somebody else down. It's automatic and compulsory. Put someone else down, get a laugh, feel good about it. Rinse and repeat. This was basically the entire backbone for comedy in the 80s.

I've found an effective way to break that cycle is simply to tell them it's not funny. Nothing puts somebody on autopilot in a panic more than a stern and flat "that's not funny." Suddenly they are in a position they were unprepared for where somebody didn't automatically laugh at their automatic joke. They must either explain why they think it's funny - thus confirming their bigotry - or they shut up in embarrassment for fear of being confirmed as bigoted. Sometimes people just try to play it off with something like "oh, boo, you're no fun." But that just gives you another opportunity to tell them it's not funny and should feel bad. 🤷‍♂️

Unfortunately it only works in real life.
 

Deleted member 21411

Account closed at user request
Banned
Oct 28, 2017
4,907
Heard this joke all through college, its a simple joke for the simple minded and it's just a disguise to hide bigotry

TheHighMarshal said:
Have you not seen Twitter? They got Keanu to appear at E3 and now CD Projekt are the "uWu cute" little beauties that can't do a single thing wrong
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Okay I don't mean to keep derailing but I thought they fired that pr guy
 
the magical kitsune

the magical kitsune

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,497
It's a very unfunny, tired "joke" by bigoted fuckwits who normalize transphobia and probably think only two genders exist, but do not want to be questioned on their shitty beliefs and so they pass it on as "just a harmless joke bro lighten up". These morons are so predictable they will switch to defend mode and try to make you look like you can't take a joke when you call them out, since they don't like to think of themselves as bigots. Or wrong.
 

Fonst

Member
Nov 16, 2017
7,057
I've only heard it once...he was an odd guy. But he seemed harmless? We just ignored what he said and moved on from the moment with ignoring it. Not sure if that was the best idea but that's what we did.
 
Ashlette

Ashlette

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,254
They're idiots who don't know or don't care about what they're saying. The fact that she took that section of the seminar as a joke says a lot about her attitude towards other people.
 
Lant_War

Lant_War

Classic Anus Game
The Fallen
Jul 14, 2018
23,538
astro said:
Not just trans, all gender fluid peoples too.

It's this kind of every day bigotry that gives me pause to let my friends know I'm non-binary. Close friends are super supportive, but some on the fringe will definitely roll their eyes at me.
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Please forgive me if this comes as insensitive, but aren't non-binary people trans as well?
 
Truant

Truant

Member
Oct 28, 2017
6,757
What is this joke even based on? How often are people "assuming" genders, and how often is this even out of malice? The idea of this militant overly woke left wing trans person (or ally) is ridiculous.
 

Deleted member 4034

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
26,560
Rivenblade said:
Social change has an adjustment period. This is one of those periods. We'll be hearing this for quite a few years as the oldies and ignorant catch up.
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Pretty much, people annoyed and or fighting that they can't make certain comments anymore.

To them I just say, "well, what do you want to say that you feel like you can't." Just hand them that rope.
 
Damaniel

Damaniel

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
6,535
Portland, OR
I hear a shocking amount of this, mainly from more conservative people, but not exclusively so.

On the other hand, my in-laws are fairly conservative, yet have a trans son who they are very accepting of, and they would never say those type of things, either in his company or otherwise. In a lot of cases, exposure to diversity can help to counter ignorance, but some people will always be beyond hope.
 
spootime

spootime

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
3,429
I mean this "joke" has been around forever, I guess it finally filtered up to older boomers now. Same way you see 60 year old MAGA dads on twitter thinking they're clever for discovering the attack helicopter thing in 2019.
 
Brian_FETO

Brian_FETO

The Million Post Man
Member
Oct 25, 2017
19,825
last time I went to a comedy show the line for the men's room was long throughout the night so I had to hear mouthbreathers spitting out the same "heh hehh you can use the other bathroom if you identify huurrr hehhhh hh" about 7 times

It's the sort of thing you say when you're an ignorant piece of shit
 
Fart Master

Fart Master

Prophet of Truth
The Fallen
Oct 28, 2017
10,320
A dumpster
Transphobic bullshit and yeah it's common. Had a guy at a party constantly saying that like it's this hilarious joke.
 
Doggg

Doggg

▲ Legend ▲
Member
Nov 17, 2017
14,435
Yeah, it's weird. I don't know what it is they think they're ridiculing. I've never heard anyone genuinely take offense and unironically ask if someone's "assuming their gender."
 
Gakidou

Gakidou

Member
Oct 30, 2017
1,612
pip pip cheerio fish & chips
Oh, my favourite thing to do is play the "i don't get it, but i'm not going to let it go until you try to explain this joke in EXCRUCIATING DETAIL to me while I contradict all your attempts at mutual understanding" game.

This is not recommended if you want/need people to like you, but I ran out of fucks back in like 2010 or something.
 
Blade24070

Blade24070

Member
Oct 26, 2017
6,985
RDreamer said:
It pisses me off but thankfully I haven't heard it in a while. A couple years back I heard it so many times from the customer base that comes into my business. Largely late High School/Early College men. Would piss me off a ton.

That and making fun of being triggered.
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What's funny is that the people ie conservacunts who make fun of "snowflakes" and "triggered" are the ones that cry about the dumbest shit you can imagine. Figures.
 
Lukar

Lukar

Unshakable Resolve - Prophet of Truth
Member
Oct 27, 2017
23,346
I can't stand this shitty "joke".

Lant_War said:
Please forgive me if this comes as insensitive, but aren't non-binary people trans as well?
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From a technicality standpoint yes, but not all enby people refer to themselves as trans. I'm genderfluid (male / nonbinary), but I don't really think of myself as trans, and I know this is just anecdotal, but I know other enby folks (genderfluid or not) who are the same way. On the flip side though, there are also some who do. It just varies from person to person.
 
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