Does anyone else not share life developments because they’re afraid people don’t want to be bothered?

[ExhaustedWalrus]

This is in regards to my engagement, which I made a thread about a week or so ago. I have only told a few of my co workers. I am hesitant to send a message to the group chat telling them I got engaged because I don't want to seem like I'm bragging or talking about my life too much. I always feel like when I share personal stuff with co workers or too many people it comes off as bragging or makes me look bad. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[Watevaman]

Who cares what people think? Are you happy about getting engaged? Are you happy about that big promotion you got? Are you happy you bought a house? Let me know. If they want to be debbie downers about it that's on them.

 

[ExhaustedWalrus]

Who cares what people think? Are you happy about getting engaged? Are you happy about that big promotion you got? Are you happy you bought a house? Let me know. If they want to be debbie downers about it that's on them.

Click to shrink...

I just don't want to be a burden

 

[Deleted member 37233]

I'm the exact opposite, I talk way too much, share almost everything and can be annoying. But I think friends and family are used to it by now.

 

[WedgeX]

I just don't want to be a burden

Click to shrink...

I get this feeling.

Just know that most people enjoy being happy for others. Some folks will always wallow in the "don't burden me with your happiness" pit of despair. But that's on them. Let people be happy for you.

 

[Tambini]

I know what you mean, I keep a lot to myself, I don't really like just bringing stuff up out of the blue. Good or bad news

 

[retroman]

This is in regards to my engagement, which I made a thread about a week or so ago. I have only told a few of my co workers. I am hesitant to send a message to the group chat telling them I got engaged because I don't want to seem like I'm bragging or talking about my life too much. I always feel like when I share personal stuff with co workers or too many people it comes off as bragging or makes me look bad. Does anyone else feel this way?

Click to shrink...

I'm a bit like that too. I rarely talk about myself, except when people show genuine interest; then I'll open up.

Also, congrats on your engagement!

 

[The Albatross]

CONGRATS OP!

Don't worry about it, if you want to share your news share it, the people who care about you will be excited for you! If you don't want to share your news, then that's cool too. But don't feel like you can't share it because you'll be burdening others -- you're not, and if anybody feels burdened by your good news, that's a problem with them not you. Embrace opportunities to celebrate ! Now more than ever !

I have a friend who is very reticent to share good news about herself, very eager to share bad news and go on and on about bad news/bad things, and then also is hostile to others sharing joy... Or, like, tries to steer it back to bad things. It's something that we try to get her to cull back on, but it's a deep psychological thing for her and a hard habit to break. SHe has this impression that nobody wants to hear about her good news, but that also manifests itself in that she frequently doesn't want to hear other people's good news... It's self-perpetuating, and that makes other people frustrated with her at times.

 

[shaneo632]

I hate "self-promotion" in most forms, so I struggle to open up about positive things.

 

[Joni]

I would say, read the mood. If other people are sharing similar stuff all the time, then it is not a burden.

 

[Samenamenick]

I always think of this



Although irl, I am very fortunate to have willing sounding boards in my day to day (I am one as well)

 

[Clear]

Wrong thread

lying I actually don't like what I typed.

 

[Timeaisis]

I used to be this way. I didn't want to annoy people. At this point in my life, I've decided I don't care. Plenty of people annoy me with their shit that I don't care about that is a lot less important. If you want to share something with people, just do it.

 

[Deleted member 17207]

100%.

But it doesn't help that I don't necessarily give a shit about someone else's personal life - so why would I assume they care about mine?

 

[Torpedo Vegas]

Yes. I know they don't care so I don't bother them with it.

It was great last month telling my boss I needed a week off to go see my sister because she just had her first child and he goes "You have a sister?"

 

[Deleted member 21339]

If ur sharing it with people who genuinely care about you and your happiness then it's not bragging in the slightest.

Sounds like you are projecting your own feelings onto others.

 

[Vulcano's Assistant]

My whole social media presence is being tagged by other people on projects where I worked. Short films, commercials, music videos,etc. I never share them myself.

 

[meowdi gras]

If there's one thing I've learned in my 20+ years of posting to forums, it's that it doesn't pay to "overshare". Which, in internet terms, basically means it's best not to disclose personal matters much. Never mistake the online experience for mingling with actual friends and confidants.

 

[Kurita]

Don't overthink it, you'll end up miserable

 

[Chivalry]

I don't share much with anyone if I'm not talking to them face to face.

 

[Muu]

congrats on the engagement!

If you want to share it with the group, share with the group. Also follow what's more or less the norm for your group if there is such a thing.

We do share birth announcements on company-wide email so I've done that for my kids. Other shit no. At the end of the day people are going to forget you announced anything within a week so don't sweat it.

 

[Raccoon]

If there's one thing I've learned in my 20+ years of posting to forums, it's that it doesn't pay to "overshare". Which, in internet terms, basically means it's best not to disclose personal matters much. Never mistake the online experience for mingling with actual friends and confidants.

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this is true

 

[shnurgleton]

DUDE! congrats! if you're happy and excited and want to share, then do it! nothing makes me happier than seeing other people happy

 

[Rendering...]

I'm bored by people's prosaic life events, so I do people the courtesy of not talking about myself when I have nothing especially notable to share. Who gives a shit, basically.

That said, getting engaged is notable and worth sharing. It's not like you'd be regaling people with the story of how you couldn't decide between Lays and Pringles at the grocery store.

 

[Chopchop]

Congrats!

I can relate to that feeling. Sometimes people at work have a problem with oversharing, so I don't want to be That Guy who doesn't stop talking about himself. On top of that, I feel like sharing about my life could be a burden to other people too, so I only do it if they ask.

Generally I only share things about my life to people I'm close with, because I think they'd want to know, like a close friend or relative. For coworkers, I generally don't share anything about my personal life unless they give an opening, such as if they ask how things are going.

 

[weekev]

Congrats OP! And yes I dont go on about my life to friends and family primarily cos it pisses me off when other people do it. I prefer to treat people the way Id want them to treat me. I appreciate not everyone is like that though.

 

[AliceAmber]

I've had this issue. For me at least, it just turned out that I really didn't have a good social circle.

But still congrats on your engagement news!!!

 

[Ralemont]

Engagements are worth bragging over, but if it's a work environment I'd say hold off. Friends? Yes, they'd want to know.

Real friends will be happy for you, not bitter you're sharing that.

Also don't mistake social media friends with real friends.

 

[DRock]

I do this too, but I try not to. Something like getting engaged is something you should try to share though.

 

[ReAxion]

Yeah I feel that way a lot.
Think about who would get mad at you for not telling them when they find out later. You can tell those people.

 

[Deleted member 3017]

Congrats, OP.

I'm a very private person for a number of reasons, so I understand where you're coming from.

 

[Fiction]

I've experienced an incredibly personal tragedy recently. I want to talk about here but I also don't want to burden anyone or give any ammo to offsite people.

 

[Huey]

For my part, I don't really share major life developments with most people because I don't care what most of them think and I don't want to be bothered with their response lol

Seems like you have the opposite problem of caring too much what others think, so I'd say that's what to work on

 

[Reym]

OP, I literally was about to share my own experiences with this in a comment before thinking to myself "no one cares, you idiot."

...so yes, I can relate, haha!

 

[Kain]

I don't care about anyone's life except a veeeeeery small group of people so I naturally don't share anything with anyone. I'm that grumpy but I don't care.

 

[LuigiMario]

100% yes. I didn't tell my coworkers I bought a house until I had to take time off to get ready to move. I hate burdening people with my own stuff and am working on being ok with it in therapy because generally, opening up to people is a desirable trait haha.

 

[Deleted member 1476]

Not like that, no. I don't like to share that kind of stuff for privacy reasons, you don't need to tell everyone everything about your personal life.

 

[DazzlerIE]

I get this feeling so much I took my birthday down off social media. I want to slip through life unnoticed

 

[MegaRockEXE]

Yeah, I agree with your concerns, too. You really have to reach a certain level of comfort among people to make it feel right to share those things. Or maybe the right situation has to come up to make it all right to bring up. That's what I think.

 

[pooptest]

Yeah, I've never gotten to that comfort level to spill my life into any sort of social platform. Actually, I don't even really divulge a lot of the details in my life to anyone but my girlfriend.

I mean, I guess it kinda sucks not really having others to talk to about your true feelings, emotional state, etc. but I've been okay.

But I agree, I always feel like I'm burdening someone else with my problems, even if it's not a problem and is good news. Introvert to the max, I suppose.

 

[mhayes86]

I don't usually talk about events in my life unless asked, but may use it as fuel for small talk when someone comes by asking me how thing's are going. Friends and family that you have a closer relationship to and are more privy to your personal life are a different story.

 

[ConradCervantes]

My wife and I are looking for a house and trying for kids right now, and I typically tend to withhold that stuff from others since it's usually the same questions again...and again...and again. I also greatly prefer my privacy.

 

[Torpedo Vegas]

It's not like you'd be regaling people with the story of how you couldn't decide between Lays and Pringles at the grocery store.

Click to shrink...

I'm actually interested in this. I often have trouble choosing between Lay Sour-cream and Onion and Pringles Sour-cream and Onion.

 

[RadzPrower]

I don't typically do a mass chat or email, but I'll send out something to my local office and/or teams I spend a lot of time with, especially if said development had required some time off before I was able to share.

For instance, I was taking a lot of PTO before my two eldest were born and before we received custody of our youngest. I was being secretive about it at the time because you don't want to deal with everyone knowing if you have a miscarriage or if the custody/adoption process falls through. Once things were more secure and stable, I wanted to let everyone know why I had been gone so much.

 

[Rotobit]

This is something I started doing around high school and it's a major reason why I have a hard time building relationships. I think there's a case for being restrained in certain places (don't show a bunch of colleagues your vacation pictures if you barely know them) but it's easy to fall into thinking no one would be interested.

When it comes to life events like engagements though I'd argue it's kinda important to bring that up in a work chat for work-related reasons. Helps folks prepare for a potentially lengthy vacation time coming up.