Do you feel a sense of emptiness when you finally acquire something you've been wanting?

[MasterYoshi]

Is this just a part of getting older? As an example... I recently purchased a desk that I'd been looking at for several months. It's probably the one thing I've wanted most lately, but now it sits in my house, assembled, and I don't feel a sense of fulfillment.. more like I checked a box in my brain's list of things I want.

I miss that feeling I had as a kid.. where getting that thing you've longer for feels life changing. It seems like the biggest enjoyment I get out of life anymore is watching my children enjoy things.

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

Bro you went from waiting for Santa to becoming Santa.

 

[julia crawford]

Itt my relationships

 

[Speevy]

As an adult, the only thing that will fulfill you are human relationships, stability, personal achievement, enlightenment.

People usually burn through what gadgets can do for them before 30.

 

[leenbzoold]

That's why i buy stuff for other people instead, that still feels satisfying.

 

[G_Shumi]

Kind of? Because then it's like, okay, what's next?

We all have some fulfillment in the chase or journey of getting something, and when we see it to completion, we need something else to look forward to.

 

[Deleted member 18944]

OP, you rely too much on consumerism to be a sense of pride and accomplishment.

You should probably go help someone if you can.

 

[Boy]

i feel the enjoyment is more about the journey to getting where you want to be or getting what you want, because you have something to look forward to.

 

[Deleted member 12790]

Itt my relationships

Click to shrink...

Damn that's depressing

 

[Firebricks]

The only things that matter passed a certain age are personal relationships, new experiences and personal accomplishment.

 

[Heroicpiglet]

Yes, everynight after mastubating

 

[Speevy]

Think of it like this way.

Each day, each day I play the role
Of someone always in control
But at night I come home and turn the key
There's nobody there, no one cares for me
Oh oh, what's the sense of trying hard to find your dreams
Without someone to share it with?
Tell me what does it mean

 

[Desi]

There are studies that say the best/only way to get the fulfillment that you expect from purchases is to A) gift to others or B) travel. It seems to ring true with me as I cherish my trips much more than some 1 of 40 trench coat i hunted down for two years. Still, I enjoy the hunt and the feeling of acquiring something for that little one spark.

 

[Uncivilized Elk]

The only things that matter passed a certain age are personal relationships, new experiences and personal accomplishment.

Click to shrink...

Yeah... all those things feel pretty empty too.

This thread definitely doesn't have to be just about getting physical stuff, I'm sure plenty of people are dead inside in a multitude of ways.

 

[Nepenthe]

I already don't require a lot of things anyway. Never liked shopping, never been one to chase consumerist trends. So when I do want something, I really want it, and you better believe I'm happy as hell to get it.

The only time I'm left significantly unfulfilled is if it's with media where I can't control the outcome of how I'll feel about it as art.

 

[SapientWolf]

I've noticed with games I'm more interested in them the week or two before they launch than after I buy them. I'm sure there's some cosmic lesson there that I'm not learning.

 

[BossAttack]

Depends on if I really needed the thing. Sometimes I really want something, get it, then feel empty cause I I didn't need it. But there are other things I really want and still admire them after acquiring them as they were exactly what was needed.

 

[Powdered Egg]

Bro you went from waiting for Santa to becoming Santa.

Click to shrink...

Lmao!!!

 

[Deleted member 10629]

I used to, back when I attached 'happiness' to 'purchasing things'.
This happens when there's a threadmill of stuff you want to buy, once the desk gets bought you start thinking about what you should buy next.

Get off the threadmill, you'll find yourself more happy and more wealthy.

 

[Sanka]

Tasty food always satisfiess me no matter how much I am looking forward to it.

But what I am wondering is, what kind of joys were you expecting to get out of a fancy desk on daily basis, OP? Maybe be more realistic and honest about what you want and for what reason.

 

[MasterYoshi]

I already don't require a lot of things anyway. Never liked shopping, never been one to chase consumerist trends. So when I do want something, I really want it, and you better believe I'm happy as hell to get it.

The only time I'm left significantly unfulfilled is if it's with media where I can't control the outcome of how I'll feel about it as art.

Click to shrink...

Sometimes I wonder if I get more enjoyment out of simply watching streams of people playing a game I might have interest in rather than buying and playing it myself. There's always games that I absolutely enjoy the shit out of myself, though.

 

[NTGYK]

Nah fam, I never feel like that and I'm turning 31 this year. Love buying and getting new shit.

But what I'm getting has changed over the years. From being excited about getting action figures to being excited about new gear and watches, things like that

 

[LProtagonist]

It's more like... there's always more to want. It's how our society is set up. I get into phases where I do a ton of research to buy stuff and figure out what's the best for me and then it gets to me and I'm happy but it doesn't really fulfill me. I try to turn to some good books and learning to get out of that mindset.

 

[AshenOne]

Usually that's not the case with me because I only strive for what I REALLY need.

 

[eraFROMAN]

This started for me when I was 19; once I could buy what I needed/wanted myself, my focus went from "new thing!" to "I have obligations to attend to that allow me to get these things, don't enjoy thing too much and forget." Just how it is.

 

[Nepenthe]

Sometimes I wonder if I get more enjoyment out of simply watching streams of people playing a game I might have interest in rather than buying and playing it myself. There's always games that I absolutely enjoy the shit out of myself, though.

Click to shrink...

It wouldn't surprise me. Streams are entertaining and are lower cost compared to actually getting the game yourself, lol. With regards to my consumerist habits, I'm in the same boat. Gaming is losing its luster, either because the genres I like are becoming more niche or because of the microtransaction-laden environment that turns me off. I buy a few games a year and just replay old stuff. I'm happy with that.

 

[RedSonja]

No, but probably cos I'm an old fart now. It's more like nothing holds my attention now for vert long Got really hyped up about an Oculus Quest, bought one, used it for 5 minutes and now it just sits there. Bought an external sound card to finally be an audiophile (with a shitty taste in music), but broke my good earphones a little earlier. Expecting the same thing to happen though.
I don't really have the time to be really materialistic either in my line of work. I wonder if I will regret all this when I am older, older? I suppose we're all like that in the paths we choose to take, whether wanting more shit or not

 

[Zombine]

This is why I'm getting better at only buying things I need or genuinely want with utility that extends beyond instant gratification. Spending in general has lost its appeal to me though. I no longer suffer from FOMO and stick to the essentials.

 

[Spinluck]

Most of the time yeah.

The gratification we get from buying the newest thing usually fades. We get really used to our living conditions or possessions overtime.

 

[astro]

Mateiel possessions don't ever do this for me. What does do it for me is focusing on the achievement of the fact I worked hard in order to afford something that I wanted.

The objects themselves can bring little joys themselves, though. A nice desk is a pleasure to sit at and use, but it's not going to provide me with a sense of fulfilment.

 

[Deleted member 21411]

Stuff is stuff, experiences are irreplaceable. Having said that the older I get the more I seem to feel that way. I'm still compelled to buy but I can acknowledge it usually doesn't make me happy unless it's something special

 

[FTF]

Sure, the journey is always better than the destination.

 

[wandering]

That fulfillment of cravings and material desires (and in many cases, intangible desires, as well) is always impermanent is an inescapable facet of life.

Buddhism helps

 

[Zona]

 

[The Waistcoat]

I quite often enjoy the wait and build up of getting something rather than the actual event itself. I sometimes purposely don't buy things I think I want in order to have something I'm trying to obtain.

Luckily that doesn't apply to relationships (anymore).

 

[Deleted member 4434]

I seem to have kept the childlike jumping for joy when getting something lmao.
Also I always do my best to savour the feeling of looking forward to something, though that's at times a bit difficult to combine with an eternal lack of patience.

 

[Smitington]

Actually, not really for me. It feels amazing when I get that thing I've been wanting. It's a little corny, but I really think the thing about only owning things that spark joy when you look at it is amazing advice. When something doesn't do it for you, return it/sell it/trash it.

 

[cnorwood]

Only purchasing. I've realized recently that buying things doesn't really do it for me as I have enough money to get most of the things I wanted. The sad part is I have to get it through self inprovement

 

[iAmPossum]

Things you own end up owning you.

 

[entremet]

There's a term for that: Hedonic Adaptation.

Defining the Hedonic Treadmill

Hedonic adaptation or “the hedonic treadmill” are terms that define how people generally return to the same level of happiness despite their circumstances.

www.verywellmind.com

Very well studied. It's also been a thing that's been described in philosophy, religious traditions (the Jewish book of Ecclesiastes is all this. That book is also in the Christian Old Testament), ancient literature and so on.

 

[-Pyromaniac-]

It wears off much faster than it used to but I love the feeling of getting something I've been wanting. I don't want a ton in life so it's always a nice treat.

 

[Deleted member 10629]

Actually, not really for me. It feels amazing when I get that thing I've been wanting. It's a little corny, but I really think the thing about only owning things that spark joy when you look at it is amazing advice. When something doesn't do it for you, return it/sell it/trash it.

Click to shrink...

Hello fellow Konmari adept

 

[JigglesBunny]

I struggled with a shopping addiction so that's kind of the gig.

 

[Maeros]

I still feel excited when i look at the pc i build 8 years ago. Its old now but it still makes me happy. I still feel happy with the bed i bought.. so no i dont share your feelings. I dont believe in getting older makes you loose those feelings. I know old people who come from a simple village and they are as happy as a child with the most little things. I think its usa/ some countries in europe society what causes your feelings. Not living in the moment.

 

[Maeros]

Stuff is stuff, experiences are irreplaceable. Having said that the older I get the more I seem to feel that way. I'm still compelled to buy but I can acknowledge it usually doesn't make me happy unless it's something special

Click to shrink...

I disagree. The computer i build myself is something i cherish, when the computer is done for i will probely store it because its not just a object, its a personal project. I love the sofa i have because i picked it out togheter with my girlfriend and i remember all the things we did on it haha. I could go on and on.

 

[Deleted member 21411]

I disagree. The computer i build myself is something i cherish, when the computer is done for i will probely store it because its not just a object, its a personal project. I love the sofa i have because i picked it out togheter with my girlfriend and i remember all the things we did on it haha. I could go on and on.

Click to shrink...

To be fair I did leave the door open with "unless it's something special" and I would consider that special