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Do you ever find you're afraid to post anything online due to how it might be seen?
- Thread starter Temascos
- Start date
Don't need to be afraid, just don't be a legit idiot. All the bans here on era are well deserved, and the ones that don't on specific occasions have had a lot of backlash.
Don't expect to come in a topic, say some wtv shit and not get called about it, specially if the topic is a sensitive one.
Yes, constantly. I don't know how some people here manage to have discussions and dump walls of text on each other at breakneck speed. For me one paragraph (of say, 6 lines) alone would be an hour of work. It's why I don't engage in these type of discussions, or bow out of a conversation when they go in that direction.
I have crippling perfectionism, and every sentence, every word needs to be perfect and grammar needs to be flawless. Since English is not my main language, and Dutch grammar works differently, this means I'm googling a lot when typing a post.
Ironically, I also find it difficult to post nothing but bite-size one-liners, or worse, only something like "lol" or "haha". Like every post needs to be at least two proper sentences long. It doesn't make sense, but that's how it is for me.
In general though, I often don't engage in discussions because I feel out of my depth and don't think it's my place to respond. I'm a privileged white dude from the Netherlands; why the hell would anyone want to hear what I think about, say, LGBTQ+ rights or, currently, police violence in the US and the BLM movement? Just shut up and listen is basically my own motto there.
Profanity is also a good example. I see people respond to each other with "Get the fuck out of here" and I don't really care. But whenever I do it, I find it comes off as super aggressive and I end up not posting it.
Lastly, memes. For example, I never know if you can say something like "feels bad man". The phrase itself is pretty innocuous, but it's associated with pepe and pepe has been co-opted by the alt-right as we all know. So would that make it offensive or not?
I have crippling perfectionism, and every sentence, every word needs to be perfect and grammar needs to be flawless. Since English is not my main language, and Dutch grammar works differently, this means I'm googling a lot when typing a post.
Ironically, I also find it difficult to post nothing but bite-size one-liners, or worse, only something like "lol" or "haha". Like every post needs to be at least two proper sentences long. It doesn't make sense, but that's how it is for me.
In general though, I often don't engage in discussions because I feel out of my depth and don't think it's my place to respond. I'm a privileged white dude from the Netherlands; why the hell would anyone want to hear what I think about, say, LGBTQ+ rights or, currently, police violence in the US and the BLM movement? Just shut up and listen is basically my own motto there.
Profanity is also a good example. I see people respond to each other with "Get the fuck out of here" and I don't really care. But whenever I do it, I find it comes off as super aggressive and I end up not posting it.
Lastly, memes. For example, I never know if you can say something like "feels bad man". The phrase itself is pretty innocuous, but it's associated with pepe and pepe has been co-opted by the alt-right as we all know. So would that make it offensive or not?
Sure. And I think having those reservations are a good thing. Not everything you think needs to be said and people need to be more judicious about what they decide to post online. Sometimes it's just better to read what others are saying instead of posting because either your post is redundant or you lack perspective to speak on the issue. At the same time, the effort I put into posting is really low on here because it's not something I put much importance into.
I'll try to catch myself if I'm getting too heated or double check my posts if it's in a sensitive topic, but usually I'll post whatever.
I do have a lot of deleted drafts, but that's mostly because I struggle saying exactly what I want, not for fear or anything.
I do have a lot of deleted drafts, but that's mostly because I struggle saying exactly what I want, not for fear or anything.
There are lots of things I believe that I wouldn't be comfortable posting online with my real identity attached out of fear for my job or social repercussions. I have a lot of disdain for American patriotism, the military, and the police and those ideas still aren't very popular in the "real world."
Constantly, but I've always just viewed it as common courtesy. My take just isn't needed, or wanted, sometimes and I'll just make myself look like an ass if I try and contribute to a discussion that I may not have a place in. Or there are times where I don't think my opinion is productive to a conversation and would just muddy the point.
Lol no because I don't care. I trust that I have enough of a head on my shoulders not to truly offend anyone. When I post it's only to help drive the conversation, help someone, or to give perspective that I may have on certain things. My weekend threads are intentionally ridiculous but not at the expensive of the TOS. It's just to get people to ease up and relax.
Just try to be positive and be a good friend and there's absolutely nothing to worry about. If there is a subject I am not well versed on or feel a particular way about, I just don't post.
Just try to be positive and be a good friend and there's absolutely nothing to worry about. If there is a subject I am not well versed on or feel a particular way about, I just don't post.
sure, but that's because not all jokes are worth telling and/or i don't have the chops to find the funny way to tell it without looking like an asshole
gotta know your limits
sometimes i just find awful things interesting or funny and i'm cool with keeping it personal
also a lot of the time when i barge into a thread with a shit ass reactionary ignorant opinion i immediately delete my post after thinking for two seconds, so now i only will post that stuff if i actually think i have a point
i guess the only downside is i say very little of substance or value lololol
gotta know your limits
sometimes i just find awful things interesting or funny and i'm cool with keeping it personal
also a lot of the time when i barge into a thread with a shit ass reactionary ignorant opinion i immediately delete my post after thinking for two seconds, so now i only will post that stuff if i actually think i have a point
i guess the only downside is i say very little of substance or value lololol
I think people who are really careful about posts (like myself) are often less concerned about the substance and more concerned about whether or not we're conveying ourselves effectively.
I do agree with your sentiment though.
Yeah, that's often the case for me as well. I've also caught myself while typing coming to the realization, "wait, I think I'm full of shit on this one". I've definitely changed viewpoints on a few things while being forced to see my shaky reasoning laid out in text.
I do this too. Better to keep your mouth shut and have less of the hassle.
Sometimes we're not that informed on a topic and our hot takes are pretty ignorant without us explicitly realising it. In such a case I try to keep it zipped these days. Think twice before hitting reply.
*hovers over 'post reply'
You go back to old posts to look at them and revise them? No, I can't be bothered to do that.
If you're talking about "in the moment," yeah I'll type something up and then go "nah" and delete it fairly often.
If you're talking about "in the moment," yeah I'll type something up and then go "nah" and delete it fairly often.
Gah, always make typos and it's no big deal. Shoot from the hip. Just a forum and not a CV you are writing on an employment website.
All the time, specially here in ERA (Where i "comment" the most, i'm not really active in other internet communities or Twitter or FB).
Even when my political/Social views align with the ones of the forum, i don't feel welcome in this place anymore.
Even when my political/Social views align with the ones of the forum, i don't feel welcome in this place anymore.
I've gotten myself in trouble in the past for posting things that to me are sarcastic or attempts to be funny that others don't interpret that way. I've been banned for periods of time here for that. Because of this I've really made an effort to choose words more carefully or just flat out don't offer an opinion that doesn't advance a conversation in a meaningful way because I would never want to purposely offend anyone. Well unless they are a trash person.
Also almost only here.
A whole lot only here as a matter of fact.
Sometimes elsewhere, but not that much.
It is just here, where everything is one side or the other with no in-between, that I refrain from even bothering.
A whole lot only here as a matter of fact.
Sometimes elsewhere, but not that much.
It is just here, where everything is one side or the other with no in-between, that I refrain from even bothering.
Yes, in fact, it extends to my daily life too. I'll have things in my head that I want to say but decide not to say them in fear of looking like an idiot or maybe a joke no one will think is funny. I am practically too quiet because of that.
All the time. There's been so many threads I wanted to reply to. I've often spent half an hour or more some topics, trying to word a response or condense it, only to delete it because of anxiety.
I've learned so much reading from so many progressive people online over the years, but the learning never stops. I fear my ignorance.
I've learned so much reading from so many progressive people online over the years, but the learning never stops. I fear my ignorance.
I usually just post how I feel about Media and Games. Most of the time, I don't really care about other peoples opinions, and I assume other people feel the same way about mine. Turns out I'm wrong, and people REALLY care when you don't like something they do. That's the majority of my posts here.
I've just chosen to ignore people who are clearly only looking for an argument. Ain't got time for that.
I have an tough time posting on Reset era. It can become an hive mind culture here at times. I'm An black man who's very progressive. I feel I have to defend my blackness here by posters who probably aren't black.
I'm afraid of a lot of things, because I'm a writer. I'm not necessarily worried about things that I post online, but stuff that write my story. How old is he taking? Am I coming from a place of truth? Will people look at me down the road at some kind of asshole because of something I overlooked? Some kind of ignorance of mine?
This especially. People are obsessed with our community and look for anything to try to smear us.
All the time. People are so often tarred and feathered for the least charitable interpretation of their comments. If you want to grow by exchanging ideas or getting measured and thought provoking responses when you say the wrong thing, look elsewhere. It's best to simply shut up and stay out of sensitive discussions, because they're patrolled by ban baiters.
Yes but it's not something particularly to this site, I do it across most social media and in general just don't post much anymore.
Yeah, all the time, especially when it comes to things like relationships and sexuality.
I found out that places (here included) with a big community of north americans end up being really, really prudish in that aspect when compared with people from other countries, no matter how open headed these communities tout themselves.
I found out that places (here included) with a big community of north americans end up being really, really prudish in that aspect when compared with people from other countries, no matter how open headed these communities tout themselves.
Due to schizophrenia tendencies. I have a thing where I am identified as a pariah of sorts and I am on everyone's ignore list; Paranoia is a bitch. I attempted to post more at one point after ERA was founded but I eventually tapered off and make maybe 2-4 post a month.
This is social media in general.
This is social media in general.
I tend to immediately ignore any hot button threads or ones with *see thread marks* entirely. Anything that needs that level of moderation isn't a discussion I want anything to do with.
At least we have been given a very powerful set of tools that allow us to self curate the board to our liking. Ignoring troublesome posters or topics is as easy as pressing a button. If they would only allow us to ignore moderators, gave us like buttons, and separated politics into its own category, this forum would be my favorite.
At least we have been given a very powerful set of tools that allow us to self curate the board to our liking. Ignoring troublesome posters or topics is as easy as pressing a button. If they would only allow us to ignore moderators, gave us like buttons, and separated politics into its own category, this forum would be my favorite.
Yep. Something about the environment over the last few years has made me completely retract from social media and I almost never post anything anymore. I was never very prolific to begin with, but 2015 was the last year I felt anything positive about social media or communication in general.