Do you ever find you're afraid to post anything online due to how it might be seen?

[Temascos]

Hey all!

As the title says, have you found that issue where you're about to post something, like a comment, video, image, whatever on any kind of platform like on here, Reddit or anywhere else?

Very recently I've been going back and forth over any posts I make with a fine tooth comb on Reddit, sometimes triple checking a single sentence and trying to get into the mindset of everyone else in the thread to see how they might react to it and prepare accordingly so I don't fuck up in any capacity (Like saying something that's already been said, saying something that people will laugh at, etc) and upset anyone in any way.

For a mild example there was a thread on r/aww which had a lovely sheepdog/terrier crossbreed similar to a dog I had when I was younger. I typed up my message saying it reminded me of my dog but then I was thinking "Wait, does anyone want to hear about my long passed dog? Am I stealing the conversation away from what the OP was about? Am I being selfish for talking about my dog rather than the cute dog I'm looking at?"

And that was probably the most safe kind of conversation thread you can have on the internet! Nevermind all the myriad of complex socio-political issues that I would love to discuss with like-minded people but I'm almost afraid to express my own actual opinion as I feel I inevitably will say something stupid so the better option is staying silent at all costs.

It's so damn stifling to have to think about constantly and while I guess it's better than being a troll it feels like I'm inhibiting myself when I can do much better.

What about you folks? :)

 

[Deleted member 2802]

I have dozens of post thread drafts

 

[MinerArcaniner]

All the time.

Can't count how many times I've started posting something on here and never hit "save".

 

[Number45]

Constantly. Considering how what I'm saying might impact other people is a common courtesy that I follow in real life and when I post online.

 

[Goldenroad]

Yes. I've typed and deleted my post twice already in this thread.

 

[JackSlate]

I'm scared to post on this site and reddit mostly because I'm afraid of how people will react.

 

[King Kingo]

It's just good etiquette to look over the content that you have posted over the years just to ensure that it's still compliant. Sometimes, you end up saying things which age horrendously either because times have changed or you just weren't as educated when you said those things.

 

[AlexMeloche]

I'm always rereading and rewriting my stuff. English isn't my first language so I'm always scared that my words will be interpreted the wrong way, or that what I meant will be unclear.

Tbh, when I'm sending messages at school or at work, I also write and rewrite my stuff many times lol. I also hate grammar errors and typos so.

 

[Komo]

"Wait, does anyone want to hear about my long passed dog? Am I stealing the conversation away from what the OP was about? Am I being selfish for talking about my dog rather than the cute dog I'm looking at?"

Click to shrink...

I mean honestly people do this a lot on reddit, and there's sites to sift through your entire reddit history.

 

[Mantrox]

Yep, draft after draft.
But Era's dog never goes into my threads :'(

*longingly pats the air*

 

[TransEuropaExpress]

I'd say 70% of the time I end up just deleting my fully typed posts and just leave the thread instead. Even the smallest error or not thinking something through from twenty different angles can kickstart a drama and I just simply don't care enough to argue back and forth with people. Basically if I have a 'controversial' opinion on a game or anything, most of the time I just don't post. The vitriol isn't worth it and I want to read about one of my favorite hobbies, not argue about semantics for twenty posts.

I'm not on Reddit or any other boards.

 

[Van Bur3n]

I believe just about every human has typed up something and not posted it due to the fear of it being stupid.

Except me, of course.

 

[shintoki]

I have anxiety, yes.

 

[Rangerx]

Yeah I have and it scares me. The pressure to conform can be very powerful.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Yes, i've had to delete a few drafts of stuff i've typed on here cuz i'm thinking, "Do I really want to go back and forth with some rando on the internet at 1am in the morning?"

Frankly, we've had a lot of contentious issues lately in the world and sometimes you just gotta realize you're not gonna change many minds through the internet.

 

[rickyson33]

not in any broader sense like that no

but I edit posts after I make them all the time for stuff like spelling errors or awkward sounding word choices

 

[shem]

I often stop myself from being thirsty on main yes

 

[Garp TXB]

Yes, I try not to post anything I wouldn't say in real life to friends and family (well, adult ones, not my kid just yet). But sometimes my posts are obvious flops. Once such flop was a thread I made last night, but hey live and learn.

 

[ebi]

Yeah I've always been like this. It's why my post count is so low. Was the same on gaf back in the day, it's the same thing on twitter. I'm just not a very confrontational person in general so I usually look at my draft and go "why bother?" before deleting it. I also edit constantly after posting because I hate spelling mistakes or not conveying exactly what I meant, especially since English isn't my first language.

 

[Durden]

If your posts in a discussion forum are only concerned with how the other people in the forum are going to view your posts, you're most of the time not ever really discussing anything. You're just blowing air into the bubble.

 

[TheGhost]

I just dont post personal opinions on like say FB anymore because it always causes drama. Actually I should look into turning off comments for certain posts so people don't argue in it like it's a CNN story.

I'm just tired of talking to brick walls. All I do now is post pictures of sunsets and milkyways. It's the only way to get people to come together and agree on something.

Even video games and movies you really can't talk criticisms on sometimes because the easiest way to shut down a conversation is to say

"well you're in the minitority, the only people who really hate said media are alt right review bombers"

Like my criticism doesn't even line up with theirs, I just think your preferred media is not that great.

But at the same time I'm so sick of fan boys. Like I would love to make a thread about how I watched Aquaman last night and found it more enjoyable than End Game but I know it's going to upset and bring out the absolute worst in people so it's not even worth it.

 

[Strangelove_77]

Only on here. I post whatever I want everywhere else. I've never gotten negative reception or a warning on Reddit, Instagram, Twitter or Facebook about any of my posts.
But "you know what I meant" doesn't exist on here because too many members like to start arguments by playing dumb.
It is what it is though. It's just a part of the forum's identity at this point. Like it or leave I suppose.

 

[Tawpgun]

Yes, I try not to post anything I wouldn't say in real life to friends and family (well, adult ones, not my kid just yet). But sometimes my posts are obvious flops. Once such flop was a thread I made last night, but hey live and learn.

Click to shrink...

Opposite for me.

I want post things my friends would find funny because we like to joke around a lot but I don't know how ERA would respond. It's not spicy takes or casual bigotry or anything.

I'm coming off a ban where someone posted a video of a military like outfitted british police officer racially profiling someone. I made a joke post saying I always thought british police were more like -this- and I'm disappointed they are just as racist and militarized and posted an image of a classic "bobby" officer with the silly hat and baton. Got banned for derailing the thread. I would have edited it out if someone gave me a warning instead but hey. Tough to tell what will be taken well or not.

 

[Mahonay]

This is the only place I post (I stopped using social media).

I pretty much just post exactly what's on my mind. I will start typing and then stop if I feel like it's it doesn't add anything, or it's some kind of negative/judgmental thought I should really just keep to myself.

I've been banned several times but that doesn't deter me from speaking my mind. My bans were deserved. It's absolutely fine.

 

[Joni]

Sometimes I think I want to react on something sensitive, but then I think, what is my added value? And am I culturally close enough to the topic to react? And then I just drop it.

 

[Qasiel]

All the time. It's the main reason why my post count is so low when I've been here for ages. Casual throwaway posts like this one aren't so bad, but I often feel that if I sit down and come up with what I'd think at the time to be a well-thought post to something I end up over-thinking it.

 

[PeskyToaster]

A lot of times I just can't get the write words to say what I want concisely and then the time to respond has passed. No biggie.

 

[Mahonay]

A lot of times I just can't get the write words to say what I want concisely and then the time to respond has passed. No biggie.

Click to shrink...

This happens too.

 

[ClockworkOwl]

I've gotten banned on reddit for attacking racists and I've been banned here for defending racists. I'm just scared to post anything these days.

 

[Marshall]

I have, but thanks to the fine folks here, I've become very aware of how my comments have the ability to hurt others. So I always think twice about not only what I'm posting, but how I think about and approach others. This is a good thing and makes me a better person.

 

[BossAttack]

Certain threads I know to just hold my tongue because any perceived slight error will fuck you over. Anything remotely political is just not worth posting too freely. But with regards to entertainment, I'll typically unleash my full thoughts as upsetting fanboys means nothing to me and generally doesn't get you clapped.

 

[Deleted member 6582]

I actively ignore some threads because there's definitely a point at which things go south and it breaks down into friendly fire. There's this annoying problem where some people get paranoid that everything is some sort of troll and conservative conspiracy and so you'll see people who agree just talk past each other because of a slight nuance in language. Very frustrating and unhelpful.

 

[JetSetSoul]

Not really, just have to be honest and always post in good faith.

 

[Sordid Plebeian]

I think you're being a bit overcautious, but I do understand the anxiety. I don't think anyone will care over on Reddit, but here sometimes it feels you have a gun to your head if you go against the grain ever so slightly

 

[ScoobsJoestar]

Absolutely. Over here I know that anything even remotely vague will not be given the benefit of the doubt and you'll be piled on for something you didn't even mean as being a secret nazi, so I tend to be very careful about making sure my point is clear...or more often than not, hitting backspace and going "You know what, not worth it."

 

[Mona]

all the time, i try really hard to not post anything that is superfluous or unhelpful

 

[ParanormalFupa]

Yes I think we could all do with saying and sharing less.

 

[Deleted member 51248]

sometimes, I type up some comments, then don't bother for various reasons, like deciding its maybe has too much personal info to put out, or deciding that maybe I'm not informed on the topic enough to add anything useful.

 

[Eugene's Axe]

Yes. Especially here on Era I've learn that opinions that differ even slightly from a given topic are faced with extreme aggressiveness and almost always end up in bans. For this reason I try to keep my posts as shallow as possible.

 

[Random Painted Highway]

There are so many nextdoor posts to combat but under my own name it's just too risky careerwise to post anything that isn't bland. So a lot of abandoned posts there.

 

[Manu]

Only all the time.

 

[Kaiser Swayze]

I'm lurking more and more because I just don't have the energy for the back-and-forth. I just wish I could convince some of you to slow down with the parade of misery that seems to run through off topic. And while we're at it, just because you're right doesn't mean you should be an asshole about it. There, now I just wait for the snarky drive-by.

 

[XaviConcept]

I worry more about dumb shit 20 year old me might have said online in 2003 and dont remember about than anything I say today.

 

[Captain Tuttle]

Only on Era

 

[Chouster]

All the time for different reasons. Some people can be incredibly judgment over even trivial topics.

 

[Ace]

All the time on this forum, I'm pretty centrist but this site can be so left wing that I'm afraid that just posting how I view a situation will be interpreted in the wrong way.

And I'm usually only posting on the gaming side.

 

[leburn98]

It's one of the reasons why I mostly stick to posting on the Gaming side. I actively avoid political topics as I feel politics often deserve a more nuanced discussion than what many are willing to engage with on a forum or Reddit.

 

[modoversus]

All the time on any social media.

Because of stuff like this: https://gizmodo.com/when-a-stranger-decides-to-destroy-your-life-1827546385

 

[Richietto]

Yeah, mostly so I don't hurt someone's feelings on accident.

 

[SaN1ty24]

sometimes, I type up some comments, then don't bother for various reasons, like deciding its maybe has too much personal info to put out, or deciding that maybe I'm not informed on the topic enough to add anything useful.

Click to shrink...

Feel the same exact way.