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Dismissing Alzheimer by saying " it is nothing for the person who has it,you won't realize anything"

fireflame

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,275
I don't know if this is common where you live, but some people tend to dismiss how tragic Alzheimer is by saying, "it is nothing for the person who has it, people take care of you and you don't realize anything"....

I find that kind of statement quite gross; have you ever been told this? The idea that because you lose memory it is nothing...
 
Alucrid

Alucrid

Chicken Photographer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,435
nope you're the only person i've ever seen bring up anything akin to that sentiment
 
ListeningGarden

ListeningGarden

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,497
I've never heard that before. Everyone who has ever spoken about the subject with or around me always agrees it is a horrific it is for everyone involved.
 
modoversus

modoversus

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,675
México
It's not uncommon. I don't think they are saying that to dismiss how tragic it is, they are saying that as to comfort you as a relative of the patient.
 
Toxi

Toxi

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
17,550
I've never seen that attitude towards Alzheimers.

As someone whose grandfather is currently going through dementia, it's an unbelievably stressful experience for both him and us.
 
HammerOfThor

HammerOfThor

Member
Oct 26, 2017
3,860
It's probably a way to make grieving family members feel better. I would imagine its already painful as fuck to know our relative doesn't know who the hell you are. I doubt people are saying this to be "gross". Should people be saying "well shit your relative is fucking suffering, they have no concept of who or what they are half the time."

Also, I've never heard this.
 
godofcookery

godofcookery

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
949
fireflame said:
I don't know if this is common where you live, but some people tend to dismiss how tragic Alzheimer is by saying, "it is nothing for the person who has it, people take care of you and you don't realize anything"....

I find that kind of statement quite gross; have you ever been told this? The idea that because you lose memory it is nothing...
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I have heard it. Often enough for it to be a very awkward sentiment. Kind of a twisted way to make the family handling it feel more at ease about the suffering of the person going through it. It is certainly not nothing for them of course.
 
Jceaz

Jceaz

Member
Oct 30, 2017
388
Is that even true? Dont you have moments of lucidness during which you'd realize your slowly losing your wits?
 
Extra Sauce

Extra Sauce

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,918
never heard that before and it would be incredibly dumb and ignorant to think so.

people with Alzheimer's suffer greatly.

btw I highly recommend the movie Still Alice about this very topic.
 
Acorn

Acorn

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,972
Scotland
Never heard of anyone saying that. What a disgusting dumb thing to say, it's horrible for everyone involved.
 
PurpleCopper

PurpleCopper

Banned
Oct 5, 2019
50
I've never in my life heard that before. I've hung around hardcore evangelical conservative christians before, and even THEY believe Alzheimer's is a serious disease.
 
papermoon

papermoon

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
1,907
It is gross. I haven't heard that personally, because no one close to me has had Alzheimer's (yet?) But I've had family members who had other serious illnesses, and sometimes people just say the absolute wrongest thing. Their intentions are probably benign. They want to make you feel better. Nevertheless, no matter their intentions, saying stuff like that is toxic and gross.
 
modoversus

modoversus

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,675
México
Jceaz said:
Is that even true? Dont you have moments of lucidness during which you'd realize your slowly losing your wits?
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With dementia, they are aware that something is happening, but do not know the whole scope of it. Like, some are aware they are forgetting things, or have forgetten things, or have a very clear idea of what they want to communicate, but can't since the connection bewteen words and their meaning breaks.
 
CloseTalker

CloseTalker

Member
Oct 25, 2017
30,661
I've literally never heard this argument used. My grandmother died of alzheimers, and there was a solid year where she knew exactly what was going on as her memory got worse and worse, and it was absolutely heart breaking
 
hjort

hjort

Member
Nov 9, 2017
4,096
I haven't heard it quite like that, but I have heard people say that dementia or Alzheimers is worse on those close to the person than it is on the actual person suffering. But the people I've heard say this haven't tried to dismiss the suffering of people with Alzheimers as much as trying to comfort those who know someone who suffers from it. They've still acknowledged that it's horrible for the Alzheimers patient as well. Not saying that it isn't a weird, inaccurate or inappropriate thing to say, but I don't think the intentions are bad.
 
modoversus

modoversus

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,675
México
hjort said:
I haven't heard it quite like that, but I have heard people say that dementia or Alzheimers is worse on those close to the person than it is on the actual person suffering. But the people I've heard say this haven't tried to dismiss the suffering of people with Alzheimers as much as trying to comfort those who know someone who suffers from it. They've still acknowledged that it's horrible for the Alzheimers patient as well. Not to say that it isn't a weird thing to say, but I don't think the intentions are bad.
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Yes, that's how I have seen it as well.
 
Betty

Betty

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
17,604
I've never heard that idea before and it's completely ignorant whoever said it.
 
Tuppen

Tuppen

Member
Nov 28, 2017
2,053
Put me in the never heard that crowd. It is also really stupid and makes you wonder if the people that said it have ever met people with dementia.
 
Lant_War

Lant_War

Classic Anus Game
The Fallen
Jul 14, 2018
23,584
What the hell is that take, of course it's fucking terrifying for the person that has it.

Also no, I haven't ever heard somebody say that
 
CitizenVectron

CitizenVectron

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,408
I've heard this, or some variation like "Well, it's hard on the family but at least the person doesn't know they have it."

I mean, that sometimes could be true...but especially in the early-to-mid stages of the disease, people absolutely do know that there are gaps and it terrifies them, which is horrible.
 
SirMossyBloke

SirMossyBloke

Member
Oct 26, 2017
5,855
I just found out my dad has dementia yesterday, and I now live a world away. I'm devastated, and my mother can already see a change. Its causing arguments in their house now and is definitely more than him just not knowing.
 
PanzerKraken

PanzerKraken

Member
Nov 1, 2017
15,014
hjort said:
I haven't heard it quite like that, but I have heard people say that dementia or Alzheimers is worse on those close to the person than it is on the actual person suffering. But the people I've heard say this haven't tried to dismiss the suffering of people with Alzheimers as much as trying to comfort those who know someone who suffers from it. They've still acknowledged that it's horrible for the Alzheimers patient as well. Not saying that it isn't a weird, inaccurate or inappropriate thing to say, but I don't think the intentions are bad.
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Yea this is my mother. My dad has Alzheimer's and the toll it's having on her is devastating. He's becoming a child but still an adult and the emotional and physical pain my mother is enduring taking care of my father is heart breaking, she's had to start taking medication, and recently found out she's been starting to drink also which is very dangerous. We all fear for her. We have convinced her to seek some counseling and even the counselors have told us how she's seen so many spouses lives destroyed health and emotionally by taking care of a spouse with Alzheimers. It's difficult, as it's like you are watching both your parents waste away.

And those who have alzheimers, they don't just not know or forget it, it's clear my dad knows something is wrong, it eats him up at times to know hes losing his mind, his confusion of memory loss drives him to great bouts of anger and rage. He's suffering knowing something is wrong but now what.
 
Mona

Mona

Banned
Oct 30, 2017
26,151
never heard that one before, and anyone who says it must not have thought about it very much
 

Deleted member 48897

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 22, 2018
13,623
People who are suffering dementia don't just, like, get forgetful. Usually there is agitation and stress involved. The idea that it's pleasant like having had a giant toke is a laughable claim at the most generous interpretation.
 
Sign My Guestbook!

Sign My Guestbook!

Member
May 26, 2018
24,023
definitely BS view. Someone in my family had Alzheimer's, and they said it was the worst, most terrifying experience of their entire life.
 
Camwi

Camwi

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
6,375
Never heard that before, probably because I don't associate with fucking idiots (other than a few racist co-workers).

Alzheimers sounds like living hell. Already told my wife that if I start noticing signs, I'm checking out before I lose my mind completely.
 
NeverWas

NeverWas

Member
Feb 28, 2019
2,608
One of my old gf's said something similar when I was taking care of my grandmother. It didn't go over so well with me.
 
NoblesseOblige

NoblesseOblige

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,231
I've heard it a lot, or at least something similar to it in the states. Though I didn't really get the impression it was said in dismissal. Maybe it's because I work in a hospital with GSU and overhear it more often.
 
Toxi

Toxi

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
17,550
To those of you with family members going through this: I don't know how you manage to keep it together. I'm losing it in the middle of a public wi-fi area just thinking about it. My heart goes out to you.
 
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