CNN: Over a quarter of American adults didn't get laid in the last 12 months; less likely to have sex, partner up and get married than ever

[Yasuke]

we're too busy working multiple jobs just to be able to pay rent and student loans

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Honestly, this is a lot of it for me (as far as not being in a steady relationship, anyways, I'm still getting it in, for now).

Throw in being a single parent dealing with crippling mental illness, and it's just extremely hard to imagine being able to build anything lasting with anyone any time soon :/

 

[Muppet of a Man]

I think the expectation are like this because apps treat people as commodities or products. So we use "shopping logic" a la "how can I get the best deal?"

My organic couplings have been more successful since I can feel the "vibe" of the person. Hard to that with a profile pic and a shallow description a la "loves travel" lol.

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This is a super important post for people, especially younger people, to come to terms with. The dating app is not the solution. Rather, it's the problem at this point.

 

[Dreams-Visions]

*sigh* FINE, I'll fuck them all.

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o7

your sacrifice will be remembered, soldier.

Honestly, this is a lot of it for me (as far as not being in a steady relationship, anyways, I'm still getting it in, for now).

Throw in being a single parent dealing with crippling mental illness, and it's just extremely hard to imagine being able to build anything lasting with anyone any time soon :/

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*hugs*

hang in there, family!

 

[Biske]

Yeah it so weird that during a global pandemic that you can catch or spread to others and die or have someone else die that you'd be having less sex.

It's also so weird that when our job prospects and wages and buying power is catastrophically shit and we can't and likely will never afford houses much less rent or get ourselves into a comfortable situation, that we wouldn't be shacking up and popping out tons of kids.

Real fucking mystery here. Previous generations have fucked us so solidly in their game if ass slap football with the rich.

 

[DJ_Lae]

Last year's survey was also the first time that the percentage of Americans who had sex once a month or less topped 50%. In 1989, 35% of American adults had sex once a month or less.

While I'm not in the first category this one absolutely stings.

 

[Like the hat?]

Married, nothing, don't really care

 

[Geeko]

I'm married and it's often hard to find the time. We have a 3 year old and both work full time jobs, not to mention she takes online classes at night so finding a time where we are free and not exhausted can be sort of challenging.

We do have periods where we won't have any sex for possibly a month or two but then out of nowhere, we will do it multiple times in a week.

I've made a personal rule that if she's in the mood, don't say no. I'm pretty easily turned on by her touch so it's not hard for me to start up and I'm sure as hell not going to pass up the opportunity when it arises… lol. (I think I've turned her down twice in the last seven years due to being sick)

 

[VariantX]

I'll start dating again when I have free time again.

we're too busy working multiple jobs just to be able to pay rent and student loans

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This is it for me. I'm preparing to make some changes soon so I don't have to constantly work and actually have down time to pursue hobbies and relationships again. Gonna suck though getting back out there, dating was piss easy during my time in college

 

[vixolus]

Im trying, man. Id love to be in a relationship but it isnt easy to find someone

 

[Kinthey]

I blame the less sexy M&M

 

[EVA UNIT 01]

I got laid last night.
Who wants to touch me?

 

[Strider_Blaze]

12 months without sex? I never even had a date in my lifetime! Turning 31 next month.

At first I felt I was behind for not being in a relationship and honestly my parents had questioned why I haven't gotten a girlfriend.

But ultimately with how much of a difficult time my older sister has raising her two daughters, whether or not my mental health would be able to handle such a commitment and potentially having financial issues, I'm glad I haven't. All that stuff just doesn't feel worth it for me.

 

[Combichristoffersen]

*shrugs*

I've stopped caring. Rarely get any matches on dating apps (and even rarer to match with someone I find interesting, and it never ends in any dates anyway), generally too tired to deal with people outside work, and don't care much about sex anymore either. Just let me die #foreveralone

 

[CrunchyFrog]

I haven't even been on a date in like three years. How the fuck are you supposed to meet new people during a global pandemic?

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Kinda the phlegm-spewing elephant in the room here. Dating apps are fucking wastelands for anybody in the bottom 99% now that they're all about maximizing app time/subs through predatory feature lockouts like sending a fucking chat message, and COVID itself plus COVID restrictions, however warranted they may be, are obviously not super conducive to casually meeting people. Add a dash of wage stagnation, student loan bubbles, and accompanying working hour increases and you have little time/energy to devote to relationships or seeking them out in the first place.

That being said, maybe it's not the worst thing in the world that people aren't sleeping around as much? Less chances for unwanted pregnancies/kids at least. We're below the replacement rate but that's only because we're hitting the end of the actuarial tables for the artificially inflated boomer generation. Call me a pessimist, but society could do with a couple million fewer consumers until we get this whole climate change/material scarcity/income inequality thing figured out.

 

[Zaku3]

Presently a 35 year old divorcee. Most likely doomed to be alone but it's aight.

 

[Eugene's Axe]

At my age, 45, I've almost given up on sex let alone a relationship. To make the things worse I just quit my job because I'm tired of everything. Not saying that I'm suicidal, I love myself and have many thing that I love to do, but I'm just tired of working, of coworkers, of bosses, of commute, etc. Nobody would like to be with me.
But oh well.

 

[Zen]

It just says the other 75% have had sex at least once in 12 months. I'm sure there's a shockingly high % of that 75% that did just that - had sex one time. To say the other 75% are having sex on the regular is a stretch.

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That's what they want you to think! Now if you'll excuse me, there's a Hrothgar named Angel waiting for me in the back room

 

[StarStorm]

Only 12 months? Who are they kidding. Its worst than that.

 

[Chief Malik]

non public polls unappreciation

 

[GuessMyUserName]

[...] tbh i am getting more and more convinced that i'm fine with not being in a relationship and that close friendships which i have are enough for me in general when it comes to having other people in my life. So i'm probably part of the "not partnering up" group. Though i imagine this is not a common feeling.

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I came to this realization for myself a whiiile back now. I had a healthy sexual relationship years ago but honestly I just... don't miss it? Like it was a good relationship I'm glad to have experienced, but since being single again I honestly just felt relieved to have freedom to do what I want in my days again and that feeling never really went away? Like my life's not perfect or anything but as far as personal relationships go I'm pretty content with what I've got right now.

 

[Diablos]

When I get laid is none of your business, CNN 😑

 

[Yasuke]

I'll say, I don't fully agree about dating apps being the problem, though I'm not blind to their drawbacks, having experienced some of them myself. But I'm so introverted and generally weary of people/crowds, that if it wasn't for hinge, bumble and tinder, I'd be as bereft of sex as I have been lasting intimacy the last couple of years.

They're the only reason I even have hope of finding someone. I wish I'd started using them earlier. But when you meet someone you think you might be serious about, yeah, the best thing you can do is shut off all notifications from them/make your account inactive for a while. I've definitely had option paralysis born of not doing that, which only exacerbated my issues.

*hugs*

hang in there, family!

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❤️

 

[Cromat]

My theory - it's all the Internet. People are oversaturated with entertainment options. Boredom breeds hornyness and boredom is under threat of extinction. Internet porn also provides an "outlet" for people's sexual needs and they simply can't be bothered.

I remember when I was younger, in the pre-smartphone days, I would wait for the bus for 30 mins and just stare. I didn't have a music player either, I would just look around, think, and wait. Nowadays I would go absolutely insane if I had to do that. I don't know what true boredom even is. This is a pretty crazy change and it all started ramping up in 2011 or so.

 

[tiesto]

What happened in 2012 that led to so many more people saying they were having sex? Were people that bothered by the predictions about the end of the world that they just started fucking like crazy?

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I wondered if that was the year Tinder first came out and started getting popular and yup...
I'm willing to bet it was that taking off and it became a bit of a novelty. But things settled down after that.

 

[Thorn]

Its still weird to me being on a video game website and seeing the majority of people have sex.

 

[RichardHawk]

I dated throughout covid and women were thirsty as hell over here. I think I had better luck with apps during lockdown than I did prior to it and I've never really had a dry run with them.

 

[nightstalker962]

I'll never find that special someone.

 

[Rhomega]

Relationships take work and your hand is so much easier

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Not to mention you can do it when you want, at your own pace, and you don't have to depend on other people to be in the mood for it.

 

[Pirate Bae]

Listen I got a great vibrator off of Amazon for $20 I'm set

 

[SP.]

I firmly believe dating apps are a large part of this.

 

[TooBusyLookinGud]

Some people want to be alone and some don't; I understand both.

I personally like and love my wife and fortunately, we are very compatible. For one, we have a great sex life and our financials are in place. We share responsibilities and understand that there will be days when one will do more than the other. It's a great partnership. We don't argue, we have common likes and likes that the other doesn't; which is what's needed.

For reference, I'm 41 and she's 36. We've been together for 17 years, married 12 this year. One of the best decisions I made.

 

[supremeplatypus]

Probably going to be alone forever at this point, the only way I see myself getting laid in the next year is by going to a sex worker lol. The big 40 in 11 years time is going to be the point where I cross over from it being difficult to being impossible

 

[subpar spatula]

Getting laid is easier than ever. So at this point the 26% are most likely choosing not to for various reasons.

 

[Deleted member 24052]

Its still weird to me being on a video game website and seeing the majority of people have sex.

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Era is filled with liars, don't believe the lies.

 

[TinTuba47]

I'm currently single, and usually when I'm single I date quite a bit.

2021 was the exception though. I didn't date or even put myself out there at all. Slept with three people in 2021; haven't had sex since September

 

[SalvaPot]

Having sex is easy.

Having sex with people that are fun and safe to have sex with is the hard part.

 

[teruterubozu]

Married, nothing, don't really care

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Nailed it! Oh wait...

 

[Kain-Nosgoth]

only had sex once, it was bad, and it was 8 years ago

as far as i'm concerned, i still feel like a virgin since i have yet to experience what good sex is like

shit sucks man

 

[squeakywheel]

Imagine when sex robots are easy to order at Amazon and cheap enough. The population in NA/Europe will drop bigtime.

 

[Kenai]

I am in a committed relationship with my fiance and we are pretty happy together, 10 years ago when I was in my late 20s I was living in my parents basement as a poor college student, I didn't even bother for awhile. I am glad I did naturally form a relationship over time, but even back then I didn't feel like I was in a rush. One night stands were never actually much fun to me idk. I need the intimacy/love there as well to feel happy, the actual sex is only part of that.

only had sex once, it was bad, and it was 8 years ago

as far as i'm concerned, i still feel like a virgin since i have yet to experience what good sex is like

shit sucks man

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Good sex (usually) requires a fair amount of practice figuring out what feels good to you/your partner, and if you get another partner that experience can be completely different and require a skill or three you hadn't learned prior. Sometimes you can surprise each other (in a good way) but...yea, not something you can plan for. It's part of why I have been very happy to see sex trade professionals get a lot more respect in recent years, there's no way doing that for a living can be easy.

When you get a few good rounds under your belt though, there's really nothing like it and that's when the cravings can kick in.

 

[Deleted member 21411]

I put an ad in the paper but I had a typo so it read "have the specs with me" so people kept calling about their computers. Damn autocorrect

 

[Roronoa_Zoro]

Imagine when sex robots are easy to order at Amazon and cheap enough. The population in NA/Europe will drop bigtime.

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I wonder how those will work for likenesses? Like will celebrities sell their sexbot rights? I'm sure companies that make body pillows will gladly upgrade to that with rights to their characters and such. Crazy times

 

[Hrodulf]

I don't even know how people have time for it in university. Maybe freshman who only care about college parties, but between the classes I have during the day and the homework/projects outside of class, I don't even have time to deal with other people in most cases.

 

[Kain-Nosgoth]

Good sex requires a fair amount of practice figuring out what feels good to you/your partner, and if you get another partner that experience can be completely different and require a skill or three you hadn't learned prior. It's part of why I have been very happy to see sex trade professionals get a lot more respect in recent years, there's no way doing that for a living can be easy.

When you get a few good rounds under your belt though, there's really nothing like it and that's when the cravings can kick in.

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Yeah obviously, i know all that, but unless i find someone i can't really get more experience...

and sex work isn't for me, not because i don't respect it, but because i need some emotional attachement, i tried once but couldn't get it up, so nothing happened... and it's also expensive...

But i mostly want to love and be loved, sex really is secondary at this point for me, i lived 33 years without it so that's not that big of a deal, lol

 

[Grimminski]

Multiple wars, 2 economic disasters, a global pandemic (which still isn't over btw), wages that haven't been raised since I was 13 (I'll be 29 next week) and an ecological crisis that absofuckinglutely nobody is prepared to deal with.

Media: "Why aren't millennials having kids?"

 

[milkyway]

It's a harder than ever age to meet someone, it was before the pandemic. My only experiences involve abuse unfortunately, and I feel like dating app culture either expects you to have your shit together and be ready for something serious or just isn't very patient about engaging sexually. For someone like me who is hesitant and has no experience, I feel a bit hopeless about it all.

 

[Deleted member 49482]

Yep, the cycle I see, both genders. Sign up for the apps. Get some dates here and there. Get bored. Take time off the apps. Rinse repeat lol.

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I have good "success" when I'm on the apps, but honestly, the entire process wears me down more often than it brings enjoyment. I have no issues getting dates through them, having some degree of casual sex, and I have met multiple longer-term girlfriends on them. But the entire process ends up feeling so monotonous and repetitious even when it's going well. It's like the dating version of Groundhog Day, if that makes any sense - the majority of interactions feel mostly the same with minor variations day over day.

 

[entremet]

I have good "success" when I'm on the apps, but honestly, the entire process wears me down more often than it brings enjoyment. I have no issues getting dates through them, having some degree of casual sex, and I have met multiple longer-term girlfriends on them. But the entire process ends up feeling so monotonous and repetitious even when it's going well. It's like the dating version of Groundhog Day, if that makes any sense - the majority of interactions feel mostly the same with minor variations day over day.

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Yeah, it feels like a job.

 

[solisolisoli]

A generation of people who grew up witnessing their parents either stay in abusive relationships or watched their parents divorce, experienced 2 economic disasters, had stagnant wages until very recently, and a housing market they can't participate in... hmm I wonder why people don't feel comfortable starting families

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/thread here

We have a healthy relationship, we are absolutely terrified of having children because even though our situation is somewhat stable, there's just no way we can afford an extra $2000 a month for daycare and any emergencies. Plus what kind of world are we really putting a child in? It really sucks right now

 

[Deleted member 17210]

Its still weird to me being on a video game website and seeing the majority of people have sex.

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Why? Video games didn't become a multi-billion dollar industry by appealing to just shut-ins.