I'm just not seeing a lot of this, and I honestly feel it comes down to the movie not conveying it as well as it should.
At the start, Carol is clearly impulsive, has control issues, and is borderline reckless when they're taking on the Skrulls. Yon-Rogg teaches control, teaches not relying on her power. All standard combat training, and none of which came off as "abusive" to me whatsoever. Later, when Starforce goes on a mission, Yon-Rogg comes off looking like a good field leader.
Then, once Carol is on Earth, we barely see Yon-Rogg again, until the very end of the movie.
And that's honestly the problem. At the start of the movie, you're led to believe that he's just a decent superior officer. Then, at the end of the movie (with two hours filled with wisecracks and space combat and maguffins having passed in between), he's suddenly a terrible person. There's no attempt on the part of the directors to flesh him out. No moments where you're going, "Oh god, I liked this guy, but he's getting really creepy now" or "Oh man, I really want to like him, but what are these things he's saying to her?"
There's no buildup. It just skips from good to evil, and the events in between barely involve Yon-Rogg in any capacity. And that's why it's difficult for me to make this connection of him always having been this terrible, abusive figure. I would've appreciated a LOT more buildup and a lot more back-and-forth. But then, that would make for a much more serious movie. And well, that's just not what most Marvel movies focus on, is it?