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CoolestSpot

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
17,325
Bendis is doing what he does.

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That last quote should be "it's 1,000 stories that have already been told, just not with Superman, which is why we're doing this."

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This, forcing his son to grow up so he can be in the Legion (instead of, I don't know, time travel so he can be young and have older him in Legion), the fucking Ric instead of Dick Grayson, Wally West's journey...

DC baby what's going on
 

MisterHero

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,934
This, forcing his son to grow up so he can be in the Legion (instead of, I don't know, time travel so he can be young and have older him in Legion), the fucking Ric instead of Dick Grayson, Wally West's journey...

DC baby what's going on
I don't get it. New 52 Lois exposed him and they undid it. Now they're undoing the undoing

don't mind me, I'm just waiting for Doomsday Clock to conclude
 

Xpike

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,676
Everyone in the MCU disguises themselves by wearing a cap and sunglasses, I think it's standard superhero procedure.
 

Gotchaye

Member
Oct 27, 2017
694
"It's completely obvious" isn't right -- we've got good evidence that it's very easy to pass yourself off as someone else when people aren't looking for a trick. But that's the problem. This kind of disguise only works until someone has some other reason to wonder whether something weird is going on. If someone ever hits on the possibility that Bruce Wayne is Batman or Clark Kent is Superman, they're going to find that pretty plausible from looks alone.

And superheroes tend to raise this possibility constantly. People don't have to put things together based only on seeing them in and out of costume. The big one is that it is in general obvious that they do have secret identities. I mean, Batman wears a mask, which is kind of a giveaway that he doesn't want to be recognized. And likewise people are going to be pretty sure that Superman has a civilian identity, even if not a day job, because really it'd be dumb not to have one so that he could go to restaurants, etc. So there's this constant low-level "Who is Batman/Superman?" question percolating in the heads of people who think about them regularly.

Once you decide to really investigate with the resources of, like, a small newspaper, this is just not going to be very hard, and Lois Lane should have figured it out pretty quickly. Bruce Wayne is a natural person of interest because Batman needs funding. If you spend more than a few minutes pondering their connection you're going to at least be open to the possibility that they're the same person, and you're not going to stop there. You're going to try to track Batman's movements on the one hand and then Bruce's on the other, not because you're almost sure he's Batman but because he's clearly connected to Batman, might be Batman, and you want to understand that connection. Likewise Clark is great friends with Superman and gets lots of exclusive interviews and works closely with the woman Superman keeps saving, so he's clearly going to be on your radar as someone connected enough to Superman that you should be checking up on him. You're going to get really suspicious by the fifth time you hear about how Clark disappears at odd times in the middle of the day and especially right before Superman shows up. And once you're actually at the point where you're following Bruce or Clark around with a camera because they're your best bet to figuring out what's going on, it's over.
 

Jarmel

The Jackrabbit Always Wins
Member
Oct 25, 2017
19,297
New York
You only think Bruce being Batman is obvious because you know he is because the story tells you this as a reader. Imagine if there was actually a vigilante Batman out there. Do you just cross off every person within the billion dollar range that lives in a very big metro? let's take New York City as an example. There are 112 billionaires in New York City alone. You then have to widdle that down to one. How? Follow them?

I think y'all thinking it'd be easy are giving yourself too much credit.
That's not that hard. You first axe off anybody who is not the correct race, height, and roughly the same age. You then see if anybody was out of the country/city at the same time Batman was doing something in public. You could probably whittle it down to less than 20 people without much effort.
 

mrmoose

Member
Nov 13, 2017
21,162
All-Star%2BSuperman-288.jpg

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If only more people actually drew Clark Kent like Frank Quitely did.

Though Quitely draws him so huge and jacked up that it makes it even more obvious he's got the same build as Superman.

I did kind of like Byrne's take on it (which he later spoofed when he went back to Marvel) where Luthor doesn't believe that Kent is Superman because why the hell would Superman want to be Clark Kent?
 
Jul 24, 2018
10,222
I remember when Clark Kent would change into Superman in a random telephone booth in open public, seems like a much worse kept secret identity to me.
 

mrmoose

Member
Nov 13, 2017
21,162
You could say Prince Adam is a really stupid disguise (especially when you factor in the green tiger) but then everyone has the exact same physique. Him having the same face AND the same sword is really dumb, though.

Power Rangers are kind of dumb too. You can't see their faces but they always hang out with each other and they ALWAYS wear the color of their ranger outfit. Oh look, this guy who likes to wear green just joined their little club, what a coincidence.

Original X-Factor as mutant hunters was stupid all around but Scott with his red glasses, a redhead, a dude with gigantic hands and feet and a guy wearing a huge backpack wasn't a red flag for anyone?

Does Patch count as a secret identity for Wolverine? Because that was beyond dumb.

Oh, thought of another more recent one, Big Hero Six. At the end of the movie you could maybe assume they're just being heroes out in the open but the series seems to indicate they have secret identities. Besides even the fact that their costumes don't disguise anything and they all have unique features as individuals, I'm pretty sure they call each other by their names or nicknames.
 
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Pelicano

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
865
In the age of the internet, someone would figure it out, sure.

How often are you cross-examining your friends and coworkers to make sure they aren't "a superhero" though. It wouldn't happen. That's why dumb disguises like glasses work, because there's no way Tom at accounting is Superman. People claiming they'd "find out" are lying to themselves.
 

Donos

Member
Nov 15, 2017
6,525
Okay, lets say you do this.

What benefit does it have? Can't go to Perry White at The Daily Planet with it. Even if he doesn't know who Superman is (an impossibility given he's Godfather to Clark's kid), he'd never publish that story. And no other paper in Metro would, because it's Superman, and there's no proof beyond a "needle" some random person stabbed another person with (which is assault, even if it breaks.)

Can't go to the cops either, they work with Superman and don't care who he is. They'd also arrest you for assault.

You could go to Lex, but even if you go through his doors he'd consider you a whack job.

Could try TV, but you'd likely peter out at a Cat Grant talk show. Even then she seems more fascinated with Supergirl nowadays, so chances are she'd just ignore it.

This is, of course, assuming that Pete Ross (former Vice President), the Justice League, Supergirl etc don't get to you first for attacking Clark in public. Shit, Lois catches wind of that you'd be in a hospital in a second. Think Batman is scary, try dealing with a military brat turned journalist.

It's the definition of a lose-lose situation.

Especially as if he is Superman, he'd hear and sense you coming from your heartbeat alone. Best case scenario is you inject an innocent man and get arrested.
Okay, lets say you do this.

What benefit does it have? Can't go to Perry White at The Daily Planet with it. Even if he doesn't know who Superman is (an impossibility given he's Godfather to Clark's kid), he'd never publish that story. And no other paper in Metro would, because it's Superman, and there's no proof beyond a "needle" some random person stabbed another person with (which is assault, even if it breaks.)

Can't go to the cops either, they work with Superman and don't care who he is. They'd also arrest you for assault.

You could go to Lex, but even if you go through his doors he'd consider you a whack job.

Could try TV, but you'd likely peter out at a Cat Grant talk show. Even then she seems more fascinated with Supergirl nowadays, so chances are she'd just ignore it.

This is, of course, assuming that Pete Ross (former Vice President), the Justice League, Supergirl etc don't get to you first for attacking Clark in public. Shit, Lois catches wind of that you'd be in a hospital in a second. Think Batman is scary, try dealing with a military brat turned journalist.

It's the definition of a lose-lose situation.

Especially as if he is Superman, he'd hear and sense you coming from your heartbeat alone. Best case scenario is you inject an innocent man and get arrested.
I haven't devoted a full day to an evil "unmask Superman" plan yet, but i will come back at you when i have :).
Why should he sense me? Scenario was that he is my colleague at the Office (d-planet), so while he talks in office i just try my luck with the needle. I would not run at him, with a war cry but try it subtle. He also doesn't have to fake pain, needle just has to brake. I'm basing this on the worlds of the movie Supermans since i don't know all the hundreds of comic stories about him.
 

L Thammy

Spacenoid
Member
Oct 25, 2017
49,972
how does wayne enterprise keep from leaking the owner's secret identity and yet ubisoft employees can't even get in a plane without telling us about the next five assassin's creed games
 

VAD

Member
Oct 28, 2017
5,516
how does wayne enterprise keep from leaking the owner's secret identity and yet ubisoft employees can't even get in a plane without telling us about the next five assassin's creed games
The Ubi people are leaking stuff in order to distract us from the fact Yves Guillemot is Batroc the Leaper.
 

Platy

Member
Oct 25, 2017
27,636
Brazil
Using a super villain who builds a super suit to combat an alien hero isn't proving your point here.

If lex luthor was walking around in a batsuit in metropolis every week the same argument would still work. It would obviously be lex.

Maxwell Lord then
Or Oliver Queen
Or Ted Kord
Hell, Michael Holt could be batman. Do anyone was awake long enough to prove batman is white? =P

What I am saying is that the DC universe has LOTS of rich people who can kick your ass and fit those descriptions

Now we even have Adrian Veidt =P
 

Oregano

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
22,878
Maxwell Lord then
Or Oliver Queen
Or Ted Kord
Hell, Michael Holt could be batman. Do anyone was awake long enough to prove batman is white? =P

What I am saying is that the DC universe has LOTS of rich people who can kick your ass and fit those descriptions

Now we even have Adrian Veidt =P

Oliver Queen probably legit has the worst secret identity considering his very distinctive facial hair.
 

SamAlbro

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,344
You could say Prince Adam is a really stupid disguise (especially when you factor in the green tiger) but then everyone has the exact same physique. Him having the same face AND the same sword is really dumb, though.

Prince Adam is a dumb secret identity for a totally different reason - it doesn't do any good, and may actually be harmful.

His friends and family aren't protected by his secret - every single one of them is already a top tier target for Skeletor. He shows up in his living room at least once a week already.

But now instead of knowing that He-Man, the biggest badass in Eternia, is their prince the people of Eternia think the next in line for the throne is a whiny coward. That if King Randor dies, their civilization has mere hours before being completely wiped out by Skeletor.

Revealing his identity would lead to zero increases in aggression against his loved ones and would bring a massive morale boost to his subjects.

The Prince Adam identity is a stupid idea that makes no sense in universe, and only exists because kids like having secrets.
 
Oct 27, 2017
5,494
Someone has probably said it in this thread, but I'll say it anyways:

Everybody with two functioning neurons can work out that Bruce Wayne is Batman. It's conclusively proving that they are one and the same what is nigh impossible for 99.9% of the population.
 

Pata Hikari

Banned
Jan 15, 2018
2,030
Marilyn had never been in a subway. Wrapped in the camel's hair coat, her famous hair subdued, she walked to the Grand Central stop of the IRT and down to the platform. Nobody recognized her. Eddie's camera kept clicking while she stood straphanging on the uptown local. No heads turned.

Back up on the street, Marilyn looked around with a teasing smile. "Do you want to see her ?" she asked, then took off the coat, fluffed up her hair, and arched her back in a pose. In an instant she was engulfed, and it took several shoving, scary minutes to rewrap her and push clear of the growing crowd.
This is a very famous story about one of the biggest Celebrities of her era and arguably american Pop culture, Marilyn Monroe. She could walk the streets unrecognized , until she put on her Star Persona.
 

KillingJoke

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
3,672
Think of every billionaire today. Do you think any of them would actually risk their lives over street crime for one shitty city? That's why no one think it's Bruce.
 

Luigi87

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,102
My overall takeaway from this thread is I never truly appreciated how perfect Christopher Reeves was as Clark Kent and Superman.
 

mrmoose

Member
Nov 13, 2017
21,162
Prince Adam is a dumb secret identity for a totally different reason - it doesn't do any good, and may actually be harmful.

His friends and family aren't protected by his secret - every single one of them is already a top tier target for Skeletor. He shows up in his living room at least once a week already.

But now instead of knowing that He-Man, the biggest badass in Eternia, is their prince the people of Eternia think the next in line for the throne is a whiny coward. That if King Randor dies, their civilization has mere hours before being completely wiped out by Skeletor.

Revealing his identity would lead to zero increases in aggression against his loved ones and would bring a massive morale boost to his subjects.

The Prince Adam identity is a stupid idea that makes no sense in universe, and only exists because kids like having secrets.

There is a reason. Maybe he likes being Prince Adam and not He-man all the time? Like he needs a break from having to be a hero to everyone, wants Teela to like him for who he is, etc., which is a lot of the reason why Superman has a secret identity. Or maybe he can't physically be He-man all the time.

If he's not He-man all the time and everyone knows he can turn into He-man, he's dead. Same for Cringer/Battlecat.
 

KillingJoke

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
3,672
I could totally see Musk or Cuban masquerading as a super hero with the right tech

For like a day maybe, sure.

At the very least ,though, you'd suspect one of them was funding Batman (unless you think Batman is on the take or something).

Possibly. I don't really think you need to be a billionaire to be Batman though. In the Nolanverse all his gadgets was already made. He probably spent a few million tops.
 

Captain of Outer Space

Come Sale Away With Me
Member
Oct 28, 2017
11,310
They just need a Fox News equivalent to spread conspiracy theories about Batman and Superman's alter egos that the less reasonable part of the normal population in Gotham and Metropolis would believe and obsess about.
 

Netherscourge

Member
Oct 25, 2017
18,904
Clark Kent works because nobody would expect Superman to just put on glasses and a suit.

It's one of those hiding in plain sight deals.
 

CoolestSpot

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
17,325
Batman also lives in a world with shape shifters, tech that can holographically change bodies, etc.

Like his setting makes it even harder to point him down when it's known Superman is alien and wonder woman is from an island of women, people throw their hands up and just go "ALRIGHT THEN"
 

thetrin

Member
Oct 26, 2017
7,621
Atlanta, GA
also i remember a batman tas episode where a villian revealed he was bruce wayne after he was caught and batman just had a dude disguised to look exactly like bruce wayne come out and stand next to him

superman could never pull that off
Superman DID do that. He had Supergirl (the one who could morph into different people) morph into Clark Kent and stand right next to him.

images
 

SageShinigami

Member
Oct 27, 2017
30,458
Someone has probably said it in this thread, but I'll say it anyways:

Everybody with two functioning neurons can work out that Bruce Wayne is Batman. It's conclusively proving that they are one and the same what is nigh impossible for 99.9% of the population.

I would love to hear reasoning that doesn't involve you knowing he's Batman already.
 

adamsappel

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,503
Where does Clark Kent hide his cape and boots?
In his mouth. I'm stumped as to how to properly search for the comic panel, but there's a Silver Age issue where Clark Kent is "injured" and in the hospital and he has compressed his costume with his super-strength into tiny lozenge-size and stores it in his mouth.

Edit: Well, look at that:

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