Ive not once ITT dismissed how men are shamed for being abused. I'm dismissing shitty framing that uses abuse against women as a springboard
I mean you're right on the money. We certainly can't fix this issue if the go-to stance when witnessing examples of IPV/domestic abuse is to make it an anti-feminist talking point.
It ignores how women who experience abuse are treated. They're also ignored, mocked, threatened, etc.
It ignores the ways that abuse is normalized in our culture by toxic masculinity. This is arguably a little tautological, since toxic masculinity is defined by using abusive behavior as a means to gain social credibility and power. The behavior is reinforcing, though -- the power is then used as leverage to justify bullying, etc. Yes, men and women can and do buy into this issue. The consequences are felt (negatively) by both genders, though not always in the same ways.
This is also a problem that feminists are actually addressing. The power dynamics are not weighted toward all men equally (especially when we start throwing things like race into the mix) but the power dynamics
significantly favor
specific men who are able to engage in a lot of abusive behavior. In these cases the recourse female victims have is typically null as well, and why these people are able to engage in abuse for
decades without accountability.
I don't
know that the gender ratios regarding abuse is equal (I know Lord of Ostia's shared some statistics that do make me question my previous views that abuse is borne significantly more by women, but I'm always hesitant to shift my worldview on the basis of a single study) but I do know that the gender parity on people
with enough power to hold abusers accountable has skewed male for a very long time and those people don't care about victims regardless of gender (see also: president 'grab em by the pussy').
What we have seen in the video is a problem, but it is not the fault of women as a class. Anyone claiming otherwise is making the problem worse by confusing what the causes are and what needs to change to hold people accountable.