This morning my three year old found a fist sized piece of concrete (???) in a drawer. She made like to toss it up in the air, and my wife and I both immediately yelled do not do that, it is not safe. Willfully disobedient, she wheeled her tiny little arms skyward and with all her might let the concrete go. It spun majestically all of 3 inches above her before plummeting straight down directly onto the top of her head, complete with a tiny little "doink." Her expression changed over several seconds from pleased with herself, to confused, to playing it off like nothing was up, to great jagging sobs while tears rolled down her face. She threw herself down on the bedroom floor and pulled a blanket over her face, too ashamed and miserable to accept even a comforting hug.
And that is still only the second worst self own I've seen today, and it's not even close. Ben Shapiro out here like a middle schooler at lunch being all "come on guys pussies don't actually get wet come on."