So I was reading the topic about LGBT discrimination and I just needed to vent/ask for advice/idk... I can't share this on my twitter or something because I'm afraid that someone from work read it.
I was unemployed for three months and was desperately seeking for a job. I was working before with Microsoft and at a TV network before that and always felt safe being 'out and proud' anytime. I never felt ashamed of being who I am and loving who I love(d). I even took my (ex-)boyfriend to some office parties.
But them I got this job, it's a small marketing agency with 7 people, being 6 guys and 1 girl. Today I finished my first week there and I'm afraid. The ambient is filled with toxic masculinity, the guys (and the girl) are really far-right and they make jokes about woman and LGBT people all day long. It feels like a frat house sometimes. Today they spent the whole afternoon making gay jokes. And kept making them on our work chat group (that is used basically to share memes and jokes).
I think that most LGBT people must feel the same way... Every time I start a job I spend a few days until I feel safe of being 'out' and speaking and acting freely with my coworkers. There's ALWAYS the fear that, if in the interview they notice that I'm gay I won't get the job and if I do get it... will I be fired when they notice it? And I'm a white gay man. This must be MUCH worse for those who are trans, girls or those who don't fit a gender stereotype.
I'm doing my best to just do my job, stay quiet and go home at the end of the day. But I don't feel safe.
Every morning I have to think about what I'm going to wear, it can't be a 'gay' t shirt that makes most of my closet (saying like "Make America gay again", "Beyonce boys", "I feel like 2007 Britney" or some other silly pop diva reference). Tshirts that I always used freely on my old jobs. I actually went to buy some plain black tees this week to use it. I can't use my favorite hoodie that there's a rainbow flag on it, my jeans jacket with a unicorn pin or my pink converse. I even changed my phone wallpaper from a collage of Chris Evans as Cap to a plain space scenery.
I went through some work issues before that... at the TV network part of the crew (the camera man, sound and light guy, etc) never listened to me. I was the producer of the show and couldn't really work with the crew. I never knew why, I thought that it was because I was an intern before and I was promoted up to producer and they still were seeing my as intern. But one day I was going to interview some singer at a hotel, the crew left early to set everything up there and I went alone after with just the TV driver. We started to talk and he said "You're a great guy, I like you, even thought you're gay. I don't care what the other guys say." and I was like "Thanks, I guess... and what do you mean?" Them he told me that the crew never interacted with me because 'guys who talk to gays are also gay' and they keep on teasing him for talking to me.
At this same job I was told, after a few years that I was working there, of how the interviewer kept laughing and making jokes about me after I left. I was asked to show my portfolio and that included a music video that I produced for a drag queen and a interview that I did with a city councilor that is a trans woman. And everybody kept on laughing and telling me about all the funny jokes that he did. That really hurt my feelings. After that I removed those videos from my portfolio.
There were other things but those were the worse ones.
I'm scared of losing my job because of this. I can't afford to lose it. I was selling my some of stuff these past months just to pay my bills. Already lost my health insurance (and I have a chronic condition). There's no law protecting me in my country. I don't feel like I fit there, even though I'm able to do that job. And I'm pretty sure that they already noticed that I'm gay. I haven't said anything yet but I won't (and never will) deny if they ask me. When I was 16 or so and came out to my parents, my mom said that I had to work twice as hard as everyone else and do my best, because they always will try to find some reason to discriminate me. That is what I'm doing right now.
So LGBT era, are you 'out' on your job? How do you deal with that? What are your stories? Have you ever been discriminated on your workplace?
I was unemployed for three months and was desperately seeking for a job. I was working before with Microsoft and at a TV network before that and always felt safe being 'out and proud' anytime. I never felt ashamed of being who I am and loving who I love(d). I even took my (ex-)boyfriend to some office parties.
But them I got this job, it's a small marketing agency with 7 people, being 6 guys and 1 girl. Today I finished my first week there and I'm afraid. The ambient is filled with toxic masculinity, the guys (and the girl) are really far-right and they make jokes about woman and LGBT people all day long. It feels like a frat house sometimes. Today they spent the whole afternoon making gay jokes. And kept making them on our work chat group (that is used basically to share memes and jokes).
I think that most LGBT people must feel the same way... Every time I start a job I spend a few days until I feel safe of being 'out' and speaking and acting freely with my coworkers. There's ALWAYS the fear that, if in the interview they notice that I'm gay I won't get the job and if I do get it... will I be fired when they notice it? And I'm a white gay man. This must be MUCH worse for those who are trans, girls or those who don't fit a gender stereotype.
I'm doing my best to just do my job, stay quiet and go home at the end of the day. But I don't feel safe.
Every morning I have to think about what I'm going to wear, it can't be a 'gay' t shirt that makes most of my closet (saying like "Make America gay again", "Beyonce boys", "I feel like 2007 Britney" or some other silly pop diva reference). Tshirts that I always used freely on my old jobs. I actually went to buy some plain black tees this week to use it. I can't use my favorite hoodie that there's a rainbow flag on it, my jeans jacket with a unicorn pin or my pink converse. I even changed my phone wallpaper from a collage of Chris Evans as Cap to a plain space scenery.
I went through some work issues before that... at the TV network part of the crew (the camera man, sound and light guy, etc) never listened to me. I was the producer of the show and couldn't really work with the crew. I never knew why, I thought that it was because I was an intern before and I was promoted up to producer and they still were seeing my as intern. But one day I was going to interview some singer at a hotel, the crew left early to set everything up there and I went alone after with just the TV driver. We started to talk and he said "You're a great guy, I like you, even thought you're gay. I don't care what the other guys say." and I was like "Thanks, I guess... and what do you mean?" Them he told me that the crew never interacted with me because 'guys who talk to gays are also gay' and they keep on teasing him for talking to me.
At this same job I was told, after a few years that I was working there, of how the interviewer kept laughing and making jokes about me after I left. I was asked to show my portfolio and that included a music video that I produced for a drag queen and a interview that I did with a city councilor that is a trans woman. And everybody kept on laughing and telling me about all the funny jokes that he did. That really hurt my feelings. After that I removed those videos from my portfolio.
There were other things but those were the worse ones.
I'm scared of losing my job because of this. I can't afford to lose it. I was selling my some of stuff these past months just to pay my bills. Already lost my health insurance (and I have a chronic condition). There's no law protecting me in my country. I don't feel like I fit there, even though I'm able to do that job. And I'm pretty sure that they already noticed that I'm gay. I haven't said anything yet but I won't (and never will) deny if they ask me. When I was 16 or so and came out to my parents, my mom said that I had to work twice as hard as everyone else and do my best, because they always will try to find some reason to discriminate me. That is what I'm doing right now.
So LGBT era, are you 'out' on your job? How do you deal with that? What are your stories? Have you ever been discriminated on your workplace?
