Badly describe what you do for a living

[Phantom_Snake]

I tell people to stay busy. Sometimes I tell them they are allowed to eat now.

 

[Ryaaan14]

I make money from ppl buying super expensive things

 

[Tiamant]

I deal with a lot of white people tears daily.

 

[Dead Guy]

Drug dealer

 

[Joe White]

I stay calm and sacrifice brain cells for greater good.

 

[Doran]

Dish out other peoples information in a sexy way and hope they pay me for it.

 

[liquidtmd]

Turn women on and off again. Wait, that's not women, that's computer servers. Oh wait, it's women too. I multitask

Look at squiggly traffic patterns of humans using their online money banking tools of how much money we all don't have

 

[Plywood]

I help others generate more income on average than I will make, a good chunk of them are rude while others expect me to be well versed in everything related to what I do simply because of proximity. I'll likely quit soon.

 

[Zevenberge]

I do to people what I do to computers.

 

[Aria]

I "talk" to computers.

 

[Hoo-doo]

I basically take over the functions of the human body to keep people from dying. That and I have to type and answer phone calls a lot.

 

[Rahvar]

I make customers' visits better, except when I make it worse. I teach my coworkers the same things, only for them to get me when a customer needs their day made worse.
I also question every person at the headquarters daily and I spend the EXCELlence of execution

 

[SilentSoldier]

I cut people open and fix them

 

[Gvon]

Give people a fix they can't do without.

 

[Yung Coconut]

I play with things until they break or provide an acceptable level of enjoyment to the user. I'm the user in this scenario.

 

[Ambient80]

I cut people open and fix them

Click to shrink...

I look at things this person removes under a microscope.

 

[Deleted member 21411]

I cut people open and fix them

Click to shrink...

If you fuck up I tell the family "it'll be a bit before you learn how bad they fucked up"

 

[Damaniel]

Create plans that make it so that when button is pushed, we confirm that button is pushed.

 

[I Don't Like]

When bad people try to fuck with our technology I'm like, "Nah."

 

[RROCKMAN]

I make the magic box work again after dumb people break it. If it is not fixed the same second it is broken then people get pissy


I also piss everyone off by simply existing

 

[Professor Lich]

I make flash FMV games for casinos.

 

[Prolepro]

i do words good

 

[Aranjah]

I type other people's ideas into the computer with lots of extra punctuation.

 

[jb1234]

Professional disabled person.

 

[Mankoto]

I'm a professional waiter and I wait on 30 people at a time

 

[Buttzerker]

I throw away food.

 

[Chie Satonaka]

I do things to pdfs.

I also judge people.

 

[Pankratous]

I put apps in boxes and deliver them

 

[Dr. Mario]

I write stuff and then other people have a look at it. Usually two people are not vehemently opposed to the work but one person who hasn't gotten laid in months eviscerates it based on his functional illiteracy, also you didn't mention any of his completely irrelevant works, after which the others equivocate for a bit and then go fuck it we're not getting paid and therefore have no energy to engage with the discussion, sorry mate we reject your work.

Also I grossly over promise to the government to turn new tricks for money and then I under deliver the same stuff I always did.

 

[Morgan J]

Coffe and screen

 

[Gilver]

I judge whether you will get your shit or not from the internet by just looking at words and numbers and stuff

 

[Josh378]

I fix the internet when it breaks down.

 

[Tarot Deck]

I see inside people

 

[War Eagle]

People pay an absurd amount of money to listen to what I have to say.

 

[Speevy]

I yell at younglings.

 

[GrizzleBoy]

I inspect/connect magical energy conduits and the things that require their presence.

 

[behOemoth]

I rescue the world. At least others and I think I do.

 

[Terror-Billy]

I send cars out to collect people.

 

[kiaaa]

I install pipe that's designed to flood your building.

 

[SirNinja]

I deal with both people and their ideas. My day job deals with mostly good ones; my night job deals with mostly idiotic ones.

 

[Deleted member 56909]

I pick things up and put them down and make things pretty.

 

[jchap]

I push electrons around as hard as I can

 

[Dali]

Brand protection. Ocassionally required to view dick pics.

 

[Zona]

I'm Fake airplanes.

 

[thesoapster]

Architect AND firefighter

 

[Rand a. Thor]

I follow orders through a chain of command and execute tasks on a daily basis depending on what the situation is each day with my daily routine consisting of efficiency through team coordination, high attentiveness and awareness of my surroundings, and extreme variations in climate temperature and working conditions.

 

[Herb Alpert]

I push buttons to trigger some lighting devices in order to entertain people.
Sometimes I program these lighting devices.

 

[yagal]

I pretend to care about who is in front of me

 

[Deleted member 46948]

I look at words and rearrange/replace letters while keeping the meaning intact.

 

[loob]

I make sure words are real words and spelled