Superman is Superman because of the Kents, they are what instill that sense of morals and the goodness into him.
Pa Kent would've NEVER told him to "maybe let people die to save your identity" nor would Supes have even thought about doing that.
The DC movies got all of this wrong, they basically tried to make Superman into "Batman" with a tragedy, make broody and dark, try to hide his powers/run from them.
It also didn't help that that Henry and Amy had 0 chemistry on screen, it was like watching paint dry when they were meant to be "romantic" with eac other.
It's absolutely imperative that whoever plays Supes and whoever plays Lois needs to have chemistry and get on with each other.
Here's the thing - there is validity in Pa Kent being wholly aware, and even afraid, of what might happen if Clark's true nature ever became public. The Kents live in Kansas. Anyone with even a remotely religious ideology is going to have that directly challenged or even broken by finding a baby in a space pod. There's a little jab at that in Man of Steel where he chuckles to himself when whats-his-face's mom says something about God. There's value in that, and it's an interesting angle.
But the film ultimately fails to connect because Clark never has his moment where he declares (for himself) his own mission statement. It's not about him being caught between the worldviews of his two fathers. Jor El's machine ghost seems pretty cool with just dropping exposition, and is weirdly obsessed with Clark being Jesus From Space rather than anything directly to do with Krypton or its resurrection. And Jonathan's paranoia has little of anything to do with the movie beyond the first third of MoS.
If the movie even had a moment where he had to directly confront Jonathan, even just in his own head? Coming to terms with the complicated nature of his adoptive father and afraid that he let him down? But then there is his mom, reassuring him that Jon never denied his son's ability for greatness, but that he only wanted to instill in him the wisdom to determine what greatness even means. That might be something.
But the film's thesis statement isn't about Clark as a person, but about the 'sociological
idea of Superman'. The most it has to say is "Hey, if Superman was real, that'd be a pretty big deal, right?" Everyone repeats how important Superman is. That is all it wants to express. And it does it
badly.
Raimi's Spider-Man spells out his mission statement plainly - with great power comes great responsibility. And it extends this through to his relationship with Osborn - a man who reaches out to Peter as an adoring father figure and as a villain. But Peter puts his foot down, "I already have a father. His name was Ben Parker." He isn't wanting for anything, he doesn't need some rich dude handing him a job, or power. He was not denied love growing up, he had it in the people that raised him. And this pretender will never manipulate him into forgetting the lessons that mattered most.
Nolan's Batman makes clear what his mission is - "I want to show the people of Gotham that their city doesn't belong to the criminals and the corrupt." It's not the comicbook Batman who is just obsessed with his own vendetta. His mission is to dismantle the systems of corruption to prove that Gotham isn't beyond saving. And just as Alfred has everlasting faith in Bruce, he has everlasting faith that Gotham can stand back up on its feet, even if he has contradict his own belief and be this element from outside the system.
In Captain America, Steve makes clear his beliefs: "I don't want to kill anyone. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from." And the thing that reinforces Dr. Erskine's belief that Steve is the man to take the serum, Steve jumping on the grenade, is precisely reflected right at the end by his choice to sacrifice himself. "You must promise me one thing; that you will stay who you are. Not a perfect soldier, but a good man." And that ethos carries Cap through the movies - in the face of darkness, of grief, of a world that has all-too-comfortably compromised its moral compass, that he will stay firm in the fight to do the right thing.
Man of Steel does not have that. It does not believe in it. And Snyder doesn't show any real interest in what Clark really wants or believes.
