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Autistic teen wins lifetime supply of peanut butter, donates it to furloughed workers
- Thread starter DiipuSurotu
- Start date
He gave what he could and tried to inspire and provide for furloughed workers like his dad. What a fantastic kid.
This is a kid with autism that gave what he loved so that others could suffer maybe a bit less all the while you have politicians forcing their own constituents to starve for a symbol of white nationalism that is supported by bots and a sliver of idiots. Let that soak in.
This is a kid with autism that gave what he loved so that others could suffer maybe a bit less all the while you have politicians forcing their own constituents to starve for a symbol of white nationalism that is supported by bots and a sliver of idiots. Let that soak in.
Don't know how it's like everywhere else but Lidl has THE BEST BREAD it's sort of crazy.
Anyway good story, shame it's peanut butter but oh well. Can't fight bad taste.
Anyway good story, shame it's peanut butter but oh well. Can't fight bad taste.
Super nice of him to share! That's what it should be about, when you're in a position to help you do what you can.
A 15 year old is smarter and has more sympathy for other human beings than our "adult" president.
One involved a well known comedian/celebrity.
The older I get, the more these kinds of stories choke me up. More peeps need a heart like this. 👍
This is awesome, and honestly, I think it's a normal facet of autism -- we're deeply caring people, even if it manifests in seemingly unusual ways. Bothers me when folks characterize us as lacking in empathy, because in my experience, it's more accurate to call us differently empathetic.
Autism is a feature of humanity, not a bug. There's nothing to cure because there's nothing wrong with us.
Social performances are overrated anyway. "Charming" and "personable" aren't the same things as "caring" and "ethical."
/soapbox
Autism is a feature of humanity, not a bug. There's nothing to cure because there's nothing wrong with us.
Social performances are overrated anyway. "Charming" and "personable" aren't the same things as "caring" and "ethical."
/soapbox
Now that's turning one's weakness - one I share, though to a thankfully lesser degree - into a strength. Kudos to Eric from across the spectrum
Congrats :)
IMO, the biggest problem with being autistic isn't being autistic, it's other people's ignorance and intolerance.
A limited palate as likely resulting from one's autism can be a real kicker both in dietary needs and social functions. I freaking celebrated realising I could actually tolerate steak because that drastically widened my options, particularly in the latter regard, because not everywhere does burgers. Yes, it'd be nice if people sneered a lot less at the basic reality I only like the one variant of rice - and rice only, among the myriad side dishes of a similar nature - but I'm not going to argue it's ideal either. It's just the reality I deal with; again, not as severely as Eric, but it's there.
Been diagnosed since I was 8, just to be explicit about it.
It's a really kind thing for him to do.
It also highlights that whilst people on the spectrum may think in a different way that doesn't mean they're not just as capable of empathy.
It also highlights that whilst people on the spectrum may think in a different way that doesn't mean they're not just as capable of empathy.
Been diagnosed since 31, but apparently autistic women have a harder time being recognized, and tend to get diagnosed later in life, often when we're old enough to advocate for it ourselves.
I can see the challenges regarding meeting nutrition requirements, but aren't there ways to accommodate that, such as meal replacements? I think there's an OT about it on ResetEra. I've experienced similar limitations, especially during particularly stressing periods of life -- personally, cannabis helped a lot to cultivate a broader palate, but I know that's not an option for everybody.
Also, IIRC, whereas food limitations are often experienced by autistic folk, it isn't a core feature of the diagnosis. So wouldn't it be more accurate to describe it as autism with comorbidly-occurring ARFID? Eating disorders are commonly comorbid with autism, just like depression is commonly comorbid with anxiety. Not that I'm a mental health professional, this is just my understanding of the topic.
My Dad wasn't autistic, but he definitely had ARFID. I saw how difficult the social aspects of it were for him. I don't think it was a weakness, though, I think the lack of awareness and accommodation was more accurately the problem. Nobody should be sneering at you regardless of what you eat or how you eat it. You're still worthy of love, dignity, and belonging.
This probably all comes off as pretty argumentative, it just bothers me to see other autistics internalizing shame about being autistic and I feel compelled to speak up. Using the word "weakness" instead of "challenges" pings my neurodiversity radar, so to speak.
Indeed; at times it's actually almost too easy to be empathetic towards something because you may end up viewing a situation in the simplest terms, without any other complications or rationale involved. He saw people in trouble, had a chance to help them, so he did.
On the first point - very much so, unfortunately. Anecdotally I'd also argue there's more pressure on girls to start masking their autistic behaviours early, as part of general social conformity, where a greater general leniency for boys means there's more opportunity for their less neurotypical traits to demonstrate themselves.
We do have an autistic OT, though the question of meal replacements hasn't come up so much. I admit, I'm not the biggest fan of medication or strictly dietary applications in aiding with the condition - though realising they clear do help others - if partly because I found gluten-free so lacking in flavour and texture that it actually made me feel worse (not to mention the realisation of needing something different hit in the usual places).
And yeah, restricted food preferences don't happen in the majority of autistic people, but it happens often enough that it is generally presumed that people who do have it, do so because of their autism. Not helped that you can simultaneously have: ritualistic eating habits - ie, eating a meal at the exact time in the exact configuration, prepared with the precise equipment - an actual restriction on the enjoyment of taste - aka why onions can go to hell - but also a sensory limitation - what I dislike about mash potatoes is less the flavour (though it is bland as hell) and more the fact it downright feels like vomit on my tongue.
As for the stuff on internalised shame... I can get that. My perspective on it is that I feel there are genuinely flaws and difficulties in being autistic - as much as there are also some surprising perks - but that regardless of those, my existence is a valid one. I am not the same as others, but that does not make my existence in and of itself any lesser. That said, I recognise I've got a fair bit of privilege where I'm in a comfortable enough situation that I can think about things in such terms; I can view the likes of Autism Speaks as this distant thing across the ocean, rather than the primary body of advice that people in the country will turn to, as just one instance of that. I deal with the anti-vax crowd, sure, but the way I describe myself has generally been free to not worry about someone using that as an excuse to rationalise, basically, eugenics. I've not had someone implicitly talk to me about a 'cure' until this week, where some American tourist hoped that 'you get better', and his tone did not make that about improvement. Not everyone has that luxury, and I probably should have considered that when I came in here; I do apologise for that.
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Also to bring this back to Eric a bit, I kinda do love how this was a relatively slow burn, RT wise. Often stuff like that is very viral very quickly, but he and his family had to keep at it on this one. Well done to the lot of them.
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My youngest sister - 22 y/o - has what was formerly known as Asperger's Syndrome and though there is much truth to this I still feel like she has her own set of inherent difficulties. Even after reading multiple books and consulting with leading experts we still often wish we could understand her better and help more.
I think this is the point where neurotypical people go "yaaaas girl."
Or uh, on second thought that phrase kind of wrong for some reason.
I personally feel deeply uncomfortable watching certain kinds of movie plots and I saw a Tumblr post chain responding to someone else with the same issue that basically said they had TOO MUCH empathy. The response of "thanks I hate it how do I turn it off" felt unusually apt LOL.
On the specific topic at hand, I'm really proud of the kid for doing something like that. Not everyone, whether they're on the spectrum or not, is going to even have that kind of compassionate gesture occur to them, much less have the heart to go through with it. We're the same as everyone else after all, there's good people and there's bad people, but particularly from the perspective of someone who when I have a favorite thing I REALLY have a favorite thing, what he's doing here just comes off as particularly sweet.
God, this can be downright debilitating in some circumstances because you sometimes want to do things for people who don't deserve it, or maybe it'll be at the expense of yourself, or because the job has rules you know.
Also yeah, really good show of Eric's character that he actually thought to use this for someone else, particularly since this was initially more to cover his own needs. Good kid.
No it's being autistic. It's not a personality trait, it's a disability.
I think that's accurate AF. I definitely displayed classic autistic behaviors from a very young age, but was also subject to intense pressure to hide them. Getting the correct diagnosis in my 30s has helped immensely -- I can now see a clear trajectory between repression of autistic traits and development of other unhealthy behaviors in adulthood. Being "trained" not to stim, for example, led to suicidal urges and substance abuse as an adult. Since I've consciously focused on reclaiming normal stimming, the desire to engage in unhealthy behaviors has diminished drastically.
These realizations have led me to advocate strongly against ideas and practices that involve autistics being conditioned to behave like allistics -- ABA therapy, for example, has been the gold standard of autistic treatment for a long time, but I think it's more akin to gay conversion therapy. It attempts to fix something that isn't a problem and fails to address the lack of social awareness/accommodation by others that is actually the real issue. It's easier to place the burden of change on the most vulnerable cohorts of society than it is to change the society itself, but that doesn't mean it's ethical or even effective.
Yup, I posted in the autistic OT when it was first made. I haven't kept up with it like I should've, though.
Maybe we ought to post about dietary restrictions in that thread -- crowdsource some suggestions for how to navigate it? Though I know for me it's often hard to enact helpful ideas because of the sheer fact that it would involve a change in routine.
Ritualistic/routine behaviors are indeed a core feature of autism -- I still think the actual extremes of limited diet are a different (though related) phenomenon. What you're describing sounds a lot like ARFID, though you make a valid point about folks presuming it's because of autism -- I suspect that's because ARFID itself is so misunderstood and largely unknown. I mean, so is autism to a large extent, too...
Learning how to cook things differently helped me with sensory limitations re: food. Like how boiled brussels sprouts are gross, but sauteed ones are great. Also using my ranks in "Autistic Focus" to read about nutrition, which motivated me to read about cooking, which motivated me to try different things differently. I approached it like trying to level up a character in a video game. Now I like my own cooking better than anything I can buy at the store or get prepared at a restaurant, which has been a pretty big adulting win. I've come a long way from my days of eating exclusively white rice and Carnation Instant Breakfasts.
Then again, I don't have ARFID -- just ritualistic habits and sensory issues. It's a whole different ballgame for someone with a legit eating disorder, I'm not trying to downplay your difficulties at all. None of these workarounds would have helped my Dad whatsoever.
Potatoes are overrated IMO. Not enough nutritive value or decent flavor unless augmented substantially by other ingredients. I don't blame you for shunning mashed taters, hahah -- they're not worth the hype. Ditto for hot dogs, they're so nasty I can't believe they're even legal.
No apologies necessary. I do really appreciate the articulation of your perspectives and experiences. Thanks for putting this much thought and effort into our dialogue. :)
We have flaws and difficulties and perks, yes, but I think that's true of everyone, autistic or not. Just because ours are pretty specific doesn't mean we're better or worse than allistics. My coworkers might be able to perform customer service roles that I can't, but I'm able to perform food service feats that they can't. They embrace change far easier than I do, but I excel at the routines and standards that bore most folks to tears. It takes both kinds of people to make a great team, and I've learned to value highly those talents I bring to the table which are part and parcel of being autistic.
I think a key part of this is recognizing that it's not about judging everyone by the same standards, but rather understanding that the best results come from helping each other maximize our capabilities while minimizing our challenges. There's no such thing as a human being that exists without the support of other human beings in some way, shape, or form. Most of the judgments we place on what kind of support is normal or not are pretty arbitrary, even fundamentally outdated or at worst, bigoted. "Survival of the fittest" as it's used in ordinary discourse is, IMO, a butchering of the concept -- in a civilized, democratic kind of society, fitness may very well be gauged not by our ability to compete or dominate, but by our willingness to empathize and cooperate. In that sense, I think folks like us -- folks like Eric McKay and my recent new hero, Greta Thunberg -- are integral to a prosperous future for not just our species, but our entire planet.
I'm not disabled. I'm a normally-occurring, specific kind of person. And I'm fucking awesome, thank you very much. The world is a better place with me in it, autism and all.
I empathize with that, it really is apt -- however, I see it as a failing of our culture, rather than a failing of the individual or a category of individuals. Similar to how bootstrap culture fails those who experience systemic inequality -- it says more about the system in which we're embedded than the person themselves. By presuming a level playing field or rigid standards of normality, we miss out on the full range of our capabilities.
Awesome story. Spreading the love like spreading the peanut butter.
Were you intentionally trying to prove her point?
Yeah, this kid is rad and i'd be happy to call him a hero for doing this, but the bigger picture is definitely frustrating, if not downright worrying.
I mean, autism or not, individual people have individual challenges. I wouldn't presume to lecture you on your experiences with your sister, I don't doubt it's been difficult and it sounds like you've gone to great lengths to bridge those gaps in awareness -- thanks for that, by the way, it's good to know that there are people who really try. I suppose all I can offer here is that our understanding of autism is still pretty limited, especially in femme-gendered folk, and without a supportive culture it can be even more of an uphill battle, for which even a very supportive family might not be enough. I appreciate that you took the time to respond and I hope my post wasn't so simplistic or contrary as to cause you unintended harm or invalidate your experiences.
I mean... That's kind of demonstrative of the differences in circumstance, because yes, for me it is a disability - a learning disability, though it's moved on from an academic sense to a social one. It is a condition that limits my default functionality as compared to the other, average person. But I have and had far more ready access to support - both in infrastructure and people being supportive - for it as a disability. I had CAMHS to turn to, I got extra time in exams, I got funding for tutors through university, and then extensions to coursework because executive dysfunction is a bitch. In some cases, in applying for a job, I actually have a right to a guaranteed interview if I should choose so, to account for the fact I may not demonstrate myself in a written form the way I would in person (though I have to meet the minimum requirements, and I am questioning how well employers abide by that).
And to like, really demonstrate how things are changing on the general mental health front, at least in a UK context (and albeit, arguably specific to my employer): I started my current job back in April, and because I was autistic, got an Occupational Health meeting so as to formally (re-)assess how my condition would affect and impact my ability to work, as well as provide my employers a reference on how to accommodate and support me. Colleagues of mine who've been with the organisation longer haven't had the same meeting and are only now getting around to it for their own, respective conditions.
But that does kinda loop around to your point around wider culture because, frustrating as it is to say, that is all very much not the norm, whether for people with autism specifically or any particular mental condition or learning disability. Access to what we need is largely restricted, and instead, as you touch on, many people's 'support' is actually a load of crock intended simply to make them 'normal', rather than actually integrate them, never mind the cost to their health later down the line. There is a reason our life expectancy, even here in the UK, is twenty or so years lower than the rest of the population.
Also yeah that's kind of a dark undercurrent to things. Like, hell yeah Eric, but good god that Eric felt he needed to chip in. Hope his Dad is alright
Really sweet story! Thanks for sharing, always nice to read when people do something good.
Formerly known? Has it changed?
This being a sweet act of charity isn't mutually exclusive with it being an example of "what the fuck is wrong with our society that this is even necessary?!"
Because yeah, that's how I feel about, for example, stories involving people helping addicts/vets/homeless folks (or all three in one) -- it's great, and also supremely fucked at the same time.