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Big Al

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,276
New York
I've been thinking about this lately because I turned 20 and been worrying about missing out on all the stuff I want to do in life. So many people have told me this sentiment and even if I have a hard time registering it I still wonder if it's valid and if so how much longer I got in taking comfort in that. I figure I have my twenties to be stupid and have fun and whatnot but besides that do I really have it all ahead of me?
 
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bjork

Member
Oct 27, 2017
887
You could have a beam fall on your head and kill you ten minutes from now. You can get a new start whenever you want, it isn't about having x time left.
 

Deleted member 46493

User requested account closure
Banned
Aug 7, 2018
5,231
Depends where you live and what life choices you make. If you want to pin an age to it, I say around 40 (mostly because of marriage + kids)? Where I live a lot of people in their 30s are still enjoying life and doing whatever they want. My coworker is 34 and you'd think he's 25 based on his looks and lifestyle.
 

weemadarthur

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,588
Your whole remaining life is always in front of you unless you have managed the art of ageing backward.
If you're on your actual deathbed, perhaps it wouldn't apply.
 

laminated

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,283
When you're set in a routine and your days go by in a blur. When a new year feels like its gone by quickly. That's when you're fucked.
 
Oct 27, 2017
5,394
I know it is difficult, but don't fall for the whole "missing out" syndrome where you always worry about missing out on things. That only leads to anxiety and actually missing out on things because you feel that not doing things is a waste of time.

If you don't feel fulfilled, then find new hobbies that you can do at least 3-5 times per week. Most cities/towns have community-run programs for stuff. Even taking something totally random like a gardening, cooking, or photography class can be a fun way to kill time and meet people.

In the end, all our graves eventually go unattended and the mark we have left will mean nothing. So fill the time you have with whatever makes you the least sad, and do it until you die. Life is unfortunately a series of challenges and losses, and your twenties are hopefully a time where you can not experience much of that.

EDIT - Also, what someone said about routines is dead on. One of the reasons why time seems to go faster as you age is that you are doing mostly the same things over and over, and so your brain records less and less of it as memory. When you are 8 years old and have summer break, those few months are a significant chunk of your life, so it seems like the summer went on forever. when you are 75 and you do the same thing every day, then months can go by in a flash. This is because we only experience/remember time passing by the frequency of experiences and memories.

So, do new things as much as possible, especially outside of your comfort zone. This will make you feel like you are living longer and time will seem to move more slowly. It sounds weird, but it's true.
 

Torpedo Vegas

Member
Oct 27, 2017
22,575
Parts Unknown.
I don't know, but around 15 was when it started seeming more like of a threat than an encouragement.

I'm sure it had nothing to do with me getting my first job at 15. That's just a coincidence.
 

P-MAC

Member
Nov 15, 2017
4,449
OP: 20 is nothing, you aren't even close to be able to smell it. I'm 28 and still technically "have my whole life ahead of me", could completely change careers or move countries if I really wanted. If you're 35, with kids, and settled into a career you're staying in with forever, I guess that's when that saying is no longer true. But it depends more on how you live and look at life than your actual age.

When you're set in a routine and your days go by in a blur. When a new year feels like its gone by quickly. That's when you're fucked.

Fuckkkk lmao. that's literally never not been the case for me.
 

borghe

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,112
factually correct

with that being said.. we just had a conversation this weekend on the stages of life.. I'd say as you progress, your life is defined by the ratio of loss to gain. Up to middle age your life is largely about being given more than having it taken away (health, family, wealth, etc). Middle age is essentially that point where the two things start at about equal, and then loss starts to overtake gain (death, health, ability to grow wealth, etc). Sort of fast and loose of a description but I think it roughly fits all classes of society.

False, you get a second chance...hopefully...once they grow up. I look forward to retirement lol
lol exactly. if you maintain your health and finances through your kids becoming an adult... empty nesters have a tremendous life (speaking personally).
 

Deception

Member
Nov 15, 2017
8,420
I would say 45-50? Average age is around 65-70 so you really don't have your "whole" life even if it is still a sizeable chunk of it left.
 

Pomerlaw

Erarboreal
Banned
Feb 25, 2018
8,536
You whole life is always ahead of you, whatever how long you still have.

When I was younger, I thought that the best time to be alive was before 30.

Then I had kids and realized I knew nothing. Having my little girls is a blast and they made me a much better person.

When I'm old and sick, like my dear mom, is when life will be behind me.
 

sooperkool

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,159
factually correct

with that being said.. we just had a conversation this weekend on the stages of life.. I'd say as you progress, your life is defined by the ratio of loss to gain. Up to middle age your life is largely about being given more than having it taken away (health, family, wealth, etc). Middle age is essentially that point where the two things start at about equal, and then loss starts to overtake gain (death, health, ability to grow wealth, etc). Sort of fast and loose of a description but I think it roughly fits all classes of society.


lol exactly. if you maintain your health and finances through your kids becoming an adult... empty nesters have a tremendous life (speaking personally).

Definitely, our life is really our own. We love seeing the kids but life is great without them around all the time.
 

Deleted member 13642

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
374
There was a time in my life where I thought was done. Just, fucking, done. In truth, like 80% of my favorite things hadn't happened yet. I had this entire unexpected life I was about to live, and I had no idea. Might be the same for any of us.
 

Bakercat

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,154
'merica
I assume when youre done with school and doing your job. Youll be doing this shit until retirement or dead, so there really isnt much else to work towards.
 

Akira86

Member
Oct 25, 2017
19,585
I guess when your whole life is behind you instead? The point being you never know.

and even then you have a promising future being nutrients for future life.
 

Deleted member 46493

User requested account closure
Banned
Aug 7, 2018
5,231
I assume when youre done with school and doing your job. Youll be doing this shit until retirement or dead, so there really isnt much else to work towards.
Opposite for me. Couldn't do anything as a student because I had no money. Now I can buy stuff, travel, etc. Would be depressing if my life "ended" at 22.
 

blinky

Attempted to circumvent ban with an alt account
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,329
20 is still pretty young, but at this point you have already made some decisions that permanently close off certain pathways. For example, you're probably not going to become a doctor if you aren't currently in college, taking the right prerequisite courses, and nailing your GPA. As you go through life, you'll find that your future options become more and more constricted. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but there's no option to rewind your life and replay it after redoing a particular decision node.
 

sooperkool

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,159
Uh huh. "I have my whole life ahead of me", said no 60 year old ever. Before you know it, you're changing diapers of your grandchildren.

You must be young. I was 45 when my youngest left for college; I have no grandchildren but want them soon. We travel, eat well, buy what we want and do what we want whenever we want and have the finances to support all of that and still have over 20+ years of life to do it in.
 

echoshifting

very salt heavy
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
14,695
The Negative Zone
factually correct

with that being said.. we just had a conversation this weekend on the stages of life.. I'd say as you progress, your life is defined by the ratio of loss to gain. Up to middle age your life is largely about being given more than having it taken away (health, family, wealth, etc). Middle age is essentially that point where the two things start at about equal, and then loss starts to overtake gain (death, health, ability to grow wealth, etc). Sort of fast and loose of a description but I think it roughly fits all classes of society.

While that is true, it is impossible to assign an age when this stuff is going to happen to the subject, let's say the op in this case, which is why I think it is generally a mistake to get technical about this phrase. He could have a week to live, or a week before he is struck with some terrible health crisis. We can make a generalization here, but since the phrase is addressed to one specific person, that generalization doesn't necessarily apply.

Which is why I think "the day you die" is more than technically correct; it is the only correct answer. The spirit of the phrase is that it isn't too late to start whatever you want to achieve in life, and it never is, because nobody has any idea how much life they have left. It's impossible to measure.
 

Bakercat

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,154
'merica
Opposite for me. Couldn't do anything as a student because I had no money. Now I can buy stuff, travel, etc. Would be depressing if my life "ended" at 22.

As a student it pushed me to aspire to higher things in life and to have an ultimate goal. I just feel that once i hit that goal ill just be coasting till the end. Hopfully I find new goals. Ive always lived in poverty, so I've gotten use to having no money.
 

Fart Master

Prophet of Truth
The Fallen
Oct 28, 2017
10,322
A dumpster
20 is still pretty young, but at this point you have already made some decisions that permanently close off certain pathways. For example, you're probably not going to become a doctor if you aren't currently in college, taking the right prerequisite courses, and nailing your GPA. As you go through life, you'll find that your future options become more and more constricted. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but there's no option to rewind your life and replay it after redoing a particular decision node.
This applies from the day your born really in the sense that decisions are made that decide what path your going to follow.
 

Dr. Mario

Member
Oct 27, 2017
13,831
Netherlands
You must be young. I was 45 when my youngest left for college; I have no grandchildren but want them soon. We travel, eat well, buy what we want and do what we want whenever we want and have the finances to support all of that and still have over 20+ years of life to do it in.
I'm younger than you, but apparently got children way older. The average age here is about 35. That may color the experiences.
 

kswiston

Member
Oct 24, 2017
3,693
I mean.. that's a choice of those parents though. By the time my daughter leaves for college this summer I'll only be 44.

Even if you don' have kids all that young, you still have a good chunk of life left when they become independent. I will be 50 when my daughter goes to college. Health permitting, there's still another 25-30 years after that before I start reaching the nursing home years. Pretty close to the length of time I lived before kids.
 

borghe

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,112
While that is true, it is impossible to assign an age when this stuff is going to happen to the subject, let's say the op in this case, which is why I think it is generally a mistake to get technical about this phrase. He could have a week to live, or a week before he is struck with some terrible health crisis. You can make a generalization here, but since the phrase is addressed to one specific person, that generalization doesn't necessarily apply.

Which is why I think "the day you die" is more than technically correct; it is the only correct answer. The spirit of the phrase is that it isn't too late to start whatever you want to achieve in life, and it never is, because nobody has any idea how much life they have left. It's impossible to measure.
100%. your transition through the stages of your life have very little to do with age and everything to do with the state of your life. Completely transparent.. I suffered major arrested development from "adolescence" all the way into my mid-30s... no bullshit. it ended up only giving me less than 10 years to "adult" before now entering middle age.. not defined by my age, but defined by my daughter leaving for school and finding myself in a very comfortable place with a ton of extra free time coming up (not all roses... part of that transition is both suffering empty nest feelings and realizing that I'm no longer that primary demographic of attention and focus to companies both in design and marketing)

Even if you don' have kids all that young, you still have a good chunk of life left when they become independent. I will be 50 when my daughter goes to college. Health permitting, there's still another 25-30 years after that before I start reaching the nursing home years. Pretty close to the length of time I lived before kids.
also 100% agree. I also know a few my age who have toddlers.. honestly same exact thing. Who cares if they're 60. If they still have health and managed their finances well... .I mean shit.. they might even be able to retire and then move onto that next stage with a SHITLOAD of free time.

like I said in this post.. it's not about age.. it's about moving through the stages in life. If you can do that successfully and with little friction, as long as you have your health and can live without financially struggling.. you can define those stages of your life however you want.
 

Spock

Member
Oct 27, 2017
769
It's not so much a age but a point you can hit mentally. That can happen when your young or old, your actually age is a factor but only to a degree and depending on context.

Once you stop wanting to grow, trying to grow, lose the thirst for life, give up dreams, start buying into the beliefs that "something isn't realistic" or "your to old for that" than you got a problem. 80% of life is a mental game. The problem people run into as they get older is they run the same mental game with maybe minor variation that they have been running with, by the same rules they've been using for the past 10 years, etc . Your mind gets sticky. I think microdosing psychedelics may help with this, though that's not something everyone can or will do.

If your still enjoying life, hungry to strive, change and grow than your age will only be a factor logistically (energy, time, etc.)