-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
AsexualERA |OT| Have Our Cake And Eat It
- Thread starter purseowner
- Start date
Since there are Pokemon there, I always find it amazing that the XY Ace Trainers wear Ace-Colored Clothing:
Hello everyone! I don't really have any Asexual friends in my social circle (that I'm aware of), but I'd like to learn more in general.
Jesus christ the amount of toxic acephobia on Twitter right now, especially from bigoted queer people, is unreal.
You think that's bad, you should see some of the threads. It's full of people that change the definition of terms to suit their own needs, saying that cishet means cisgender and heterosexual, heteroromantic, or heterosensual, just for the sake of flawed gatekeeping. Some of them say we have never been discriminated against, and we have no place. And people ask me why fight for queer inclusion? Not to sound like Helen Lovejoy, but think of the children! They are the ones in most of the need for inclusion and ace kids need to know that they aren't broken and don't have to be anything other then themselves, the last thing they need is bigoted queer people telling them. Worst part is that some of these bigots fail to realize that aces come in many flavors, including transgender homoromantic.
Like, I've been mulling about it for a while, but maybe I should go to pride this year and march.
Pride month is supposed to be about inclusion, celebration, and being true to yourself. I'm proud of not just who, but what I am, and no one, straight or queer, is going to tell me otherwise. I am valid, I am not broken, and I am queer.
Like, I've been mulling about it for a while, but maybe I should go to pride this year and march.
Pride month is supposed to be about inclusion, celebration, and being true to yourself. I'm proud of not just who, but what I am, and no one, straight or queer, is going to tell me otherwise. I am valid, I am not broken, and I am queer.
Last edited:
I hang around Tumblr and every year during pride month without fail there's a massive increase in acephobia. Now, there always is acephobia happening all the time on there (I've seen a lot of really nasty things that I would rather forget), but during pride month it really brings out the worst of them. :/
Also, hello everyone. o/
Also, hello everyone. o/
I've seen asexuals even gatekeep each other, it's a bit strange. Like those who say if you are not fully repulsed by sex then you can't be asexual.
It gets harder when you try to explain to people the idea of being autochorissexual, which is something that I mostly identify with but never share with people who can barely understand asexuality.
Granted autochorissexual sounds a bit made up at first, and most people may not take it seriously, but it's the only way I can explain my inner thoughts sometimes. I only recently discovered the term, but it fits me better than anything else I've come across. It was very confusing a few years back where I discovered myself as being asexual, but couldn't fully grasp why I had certain... daydreams at times. Never fantasized about myself but fictional characters were center piece.
http://asexuals.wikia.com/wiki/Autochorissexual
It gets harder when you try to explain to people the idea of being autochorissexual, which is something that I mostly identify with but never share with people who can barely understand asexuality.
Granted autochorissexual sounds a bit made up at first, and most people may not take it seriously, but it's the only way I can explain my inner thoughts sometimes. I only recently discovered the term, but it fits me better than anything else I've come across. It was very confusing a few years back where I discovered myself as being asexual, but couldn't fully grasp why I had certain... daydreams at times. Never fantasized about myself but fictional characters were center piece.
http://asexuals.wikia.com/wiki/Autochorissexual
I'd be lying if I said I never felt uncomfortable or unwelcome to participate in the larger LGBT+ community largely in part to the amount of hate I see against aces. It also doesn't help that I'm pretty asocial and whenever I see that stuff it just makes me want to slump further into solitude.
Yea I had to unfollow a couple blogs because they started to reblog a lot of anti-ace posts :(
Yea I do that too. I have a small amount of friends but I haven't come out to any of them yet.
If it makes you feel any better, for whatever the reason, I came out to my bestie last. It's not always easy, but you might want to consider it. If you don't, even though it's bullshit and completely unfair, they might eventually start labeling you as something you are not, which will weigh down on you due to the double lie; the lie of omission, and the lie by either saying you are what they say, or denying it yet still being queer in some way. Yes, I know the feeling, yes it is not fair, and yes it sucks, but hang in there and best of luck.
OP
OP
I know this is more gaming-side, but I imagine this is the most anticipated game of the year for many in this thread :P
OP
OP
Yeah, had the retweet that one. Another day of pride month, another day of dealing with lots of queer-initiated acephobia and erasure. This is part of the reason I am big on pride month though, I wanna educate people, I want to show queer youth that if they are ace, it's okay and they can and should just be themselves. We are not broken, we are valid, and yes, (if we choose to identify as such as everyone is different and I respect that) we are queer.
OP
OP
I thought when they mentioned asexual they meant if you didn't want to romance anyone at all.
On second glance from the article, it does seem like it is representing asexuality as just choosing not to get into relationships. Darn.
It's probably because I was tired but when I first read it I interpreted it as still being able to have relationships. Reading it again though that doesn't seem to be the case.
Yeah... this game doesn't get any points for ace representation. I don't know if any games do honestly.
It's okay Euphony , it happens. I am in no rush for us to get real representation in vidya, I just hope that when it does happen, it gets done well. We've been lucky with comics at least with how well Jughead Jones was portrayed...
When Archie says that Jughead is not a normal guy, it just made my heart hurt, because I've been there, and I know how awful it feels like. They absolutely nailed this feeling many aces feel.
They also nailed the scene where Jughead accidentally led Sabrina the burger sales flyer girl on, and explaining that he just doesn't like people that way.
Jughead spoiled me. I want to see excellent representation like this in gaming one day.
When Archie says that Jughead is not a normal guy, it just made my heart hurt, because I've been there, and I know how awful it feels like. They absolutely nailed this feeling many aces feel.
They also nailed the scene where Jughead accidentally led Sabrina the burger sales flyer girl on, and explaining that he just doesn't like people that way.
Jughead spoiled me. I want to see excellent representation like this in gaming one day.
...I think I'm ace, but I kind of agree I don't feel like I'm "part" of the LGBT community. I don't experience basically any of the crap that they go through.
Being sexually or romantically involved with people of the same sex (or changing one's sex) is difficult because it has long been a taboo in western society. Not having that involvement is unusual and breaks some societal expectations, but that's not the same thing.
This isn't to defend exclusionary behavior. But... eh.
Being sexually or romantically involved with people of the same sex (or changing one's sex) is difficult because it has long been a taboo in western society. Not having that involvement is unusual and breaks some societal expectations, but that's not the same thing.
This isn't to defend exclusionary behavior. But... eh.
This video from San Francisco pride made me tear up...
http://nextstepcake.tumblr.com/post/175296069719/aces-represent-at-sf-pride-maybe-next-year-ill
YOU DESERVE TO BE HERE
YOU ARE QUEER ENOUGH
I wanna give the person holding this sign a big hug (if they are cool with it of course).
http://nextstepcake.tumblr.com/post/175296069719/aces-represent-at-sf-pride-maybe-next-year-ill
YOU DESERVE TO BE HERE
YOU ARE QUEER ENOUGH
I wanna give the person holding this sign a big hug (if they are cool with it of course).
I've been dating an asexual woman for three years now. There have been and continue to be challenges, but we get through them with a lot of dialogue and understanding. I just want to say that she is the loveliest person I have met my whole life, and I would not change her for anything in the world. The value of one person is not defined by their sexuality, but by their character. She is everything I ever wanted, and I am sure you are or will be for someone too. Cheers!
This makes me even more upset about Riverdale.It's okay Euphony , it happens. I am in no rush for us to get real representation in vidya, I just hope that when it does happen, it gets done well. We've been lucky with comics at least with how well Jughead Jones was portrayed...
When Archie says that Jughead is not a normal guy, it just made my heart hurt, because I've been there, and I know how awful it feels like. They absolutely nailed this feeling many aces feel.
They also nailed the scene where Jughead accidentally led Sabrina the burger sales flyer girl on, and explaining that he just doesn't like people that way.
Jughead spoiled me. I want to see excellent representation like this in gaming one day.
I didn't know this OT was a thing. Cool!
I've never heard of autochorisexual, but I think that describes me more acccurately.
I'm hetero(ro)mantic, but I've more-or-less backed out of the dating scene, and that genuinely sucks. I just turn down guys that ask me out nowadays because I've convinced myself it's just not going to work with the overwhelming majority of guys out there, especially the ones I have worked up crushes on.
/microrant
In anycase, hello
I've never heard of autochorisexual, but I think that describes me more acccurately.
I'm hetero(ro)mantic, but I've more-or-less backed out of the dating scene, and that genuinely sucks. I just turn down guys that ask me out nowadays because I've convinced myself it's just not going to work with the overwhelming majority of guys out there, especially the ones I have worked up crushes on.
/microrant
In anycase, hello
Welcome to the OT, jjreamPop. :)
Sorry about your bad luck in the dating scene. It never hurts to take a break and try again later.
Sorry about your bad luck in the dating scene. It never hurts to take a break and try again later.
Awesome OT and good to see it on the community spotlight.
I've not progressed to the up to date Bojack Horseman episodes yet, but how does the community feel about
It seemed really well handled to me
Also I work in storytelling for various mediums and would love to be more inclusive of such sexualities I'm not familiar with. Is there any particularly good reading to start with or consider to ensure representation is on-point? Edit: I see the resources on the front page but I mean particularly in terms of fictional representation. Even like "big don't"s etc.
I've not progressed to the up to date Bojack Horseman episodes yet, but how does the community feel about
Todd being asexual?
It seemed really well handled to me
Also I work in storytelling for various mediums and would love to be more inclusive of such sexualities I'm not familiar with. Is there any particularly good reading to start with or consider to ensure representation is on-point? Edit: I see the resources on the front page but I mean particularly in terms of fictional representation. Even like "big don't"s etc.
Heya, just want to show my support and love.
I really wish the LGBT community was more inclusive. Some of these posts really got me choked up. I know there's also feeling of exclusion towards bi and trans people in the community. I've encountered this many times (I'm bi and work with trans students at my university). Really want to work towards mending these divides- the core of it is respect for one's own agency. Not sure how people lose sight of that...
I really wish the LGBT community was more inclusive. Some of these posts really got me choked up. I know there's also feeling of exclusion towards bi and trans people in the community. I've encountered this many times (I'm bi and work with trans students at my university). Really want to work towards mending these divides- the core of it is respect for one's own agency. Not sure how people lose sight of that...
Hi guys! I hope it's not an invasive or harmful question, but is it possible to start shifting towards the assexual and a-romantic spectrum after some sort of trauma? I've always considered myself a bissexual female who particularly enjoyed romance and sex but after some traumatic experiences I feel that I've been disconnecting more and more with that side and these things (sex and love, mostly) don't really feel "normal" to me anymore.
I wondered for all of my teen years and many adult years about myself until I discovered that demisexuality was a thing. It felt liberating and validating after all those awkward inquisitions from "full" heterosexual friends and family. You have my complete sympathy. I'm glad the spotlight gives us exposure, and hopefully it brings more understanding here too.
Also I often chose to be an Ace Trainer in Pokemon, which seems extra fitting now.
Also I often chose to be an Ace Trainer in Pokemon, which seems extra fitting now.
As someone who's been wondering how much early sexual trauma has shaped their own Demi-gray sexuality, I'd say it is certainly possible, but not universal. Keep in mind that sexuality is not necessarily a fixed thing(to be clear, I'm not saying sexuality is a choice [it isn't], but it can be influenced over time by internal and external factors), either. I know my own has changed over the years(especially recently).
And the thing about the asexual umbrella is that it covers a wider range than one might suspect(from asexual with no libido, ace with libido, greysexual, demisexual, and arguably having an obligate fetish, as well as other equally valid subcategories I'm leaving out) given how nuanced sexuality can be, and how relatively new a concept it is in the public consciousness. So if you feel like the asexual (and as you mentioned, also aromantic) identity fits your experiences and how you feel, then there's nothing wrong with accepting the identity for now and changing your mind later if you don't feel it suits you. No one gets to decide your sexual identity but you.
I have wondered at times if I'm a little bisexual (mainly attracted to or at least liking women, but occasionally see a good looking guy and get kinda nervous)... but a lot of that is that I'm greysexual at best so it's really hard to figure out which direction it's going period. I don't feel too much for people outside of admiring good looks, blatant sexual gratification is more likely to annoy than arouse, and I just haven't felt like getting with anyone. I desire some friends I can count on m ore than anything but I am gunshy on socializing off of the internet.
It wasn't until I got into my first serious relationship that I found sex important and I don't really think of having sex again after this relationship ends. Does that make me demisexual or somewhere on the asexual spectrum?
Depends on what you mean.
As a whole my asexuality has not made a huge impact on my life other than me turning down certain people because I already could tell that there would have been incompatibility in the bedroom. I don't feel sexual attraction so I don't know if thoughts like that are very invasive or not. Sexual marketing does not work on me. Forced relationship plotlines in shows and movies are tiring and are nothing but timewasters in my eyes unless the relationship becomes central to the storytelling instead of fluff bait.
There's the stereotype that asexuals "get more things done" because they are thinking about sex less often, but most of my thoughts are about food and video games so ehhh...?
That's tied to your libido and unrelated to your attraction to people.
There are asexuals that masturbate just as frequently as non-asexuals, just as there are hetero/gay/bi, etc people who don't do it as often. The main difference is that asexuals do not tend to fantasize it or self-insert themselves into porn scenarios. But everyone's body gets aroused at some point, you cannot forcibly stop yourself from experiencing biological functions.
It is common for asexuals to masturbate less, but it is not the rule.
I was wondering about that. I thought I heard that there were people with very little to no sex drive, which may or may not be in addition to not really feeling attraction to others either. Would those people be considered asexuals?