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Anyone else having a hard time pretending everything is OK?

ExhaustedWalrus

ExhaustedWalrus

Member
Oct 28, 2017
5,852
I'm tired of having to fake happiness at work and everywhere else. When people ask how I'm doing now I genuinely don't know how to respond. I mean, I'm ok, but I feel like people expect you to have some big story or some shit. It gets exhausting. I'm just staying alive, and playing video games.
 
Seductivpancakes

Seductivpancakes

user requested ban
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
7,790
Brooklyn
I don't pretend at work. I just keep my bitching and complaining at work to a minimal.

But I also work with people older than me and sometimes are pessimistic than I am.
 
Lylo

Lylo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,174
ExhaustedWalrus said:
I'm tired of having to fake happiness at work and everywhere else. When people ask how I'm doing now I genuinely don't know how to respond. I mean, I'm ok, but I feel like people expect you to have some big story or some shit. It gets exhausting. I'm just staying alive, and playing video games.
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The thing is, people don't expect anything from you, they are asking because it's common etiquette. People don't give a damn if you doing fine or not, so answer whatever you want.
 
TheSpaceBetween

TheSpaceBetween

Member
Jan 11, 2018
9,653
ExhaustedWalrus said:
I'm tired of having to fake happiness at work and everywhere else. When people ask how I'm doing now I genuinely don't know how to respond. I mean, I'm ok, but I feel like people expect you to have some big story or some shit. It gets exhausting. I'm just staying alive, and playing video games.
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I'm not even pretending anymore. Shit just sucks and it's ok to express that.
 
Tan

Tan

Member
Oct 27, 2017
449
A few times a week I just can't anymore and bring less than 0 energy to work meetings. Some people seem to be genuinely enjoying the quarantine and wfh but it's making me miserable
 
SharpX68K

SharpX68K

Member
Nov 10, 2017
10,518
Chicagoland
I have not pretended that things are "okay" for so long. I was already very much used to not pretending and used to NOT faking it as 2020 was happening. Almost by nature, the pandemic has not been as hard for me as it has for many. But it's still depressing. I wear a thick "I don't give a fuck anymore" coat on, and that's how I survive emotionally and mentally.
 
EJS

EJS

The Fallen
The Fallen
Oct 31, 2017
9,185
ExhaustedWalrus said:
I'm tired of having to fake happiness at work and everywhere else. When people ask how I'm doing now I genuinely don't know how to respond. I mean, I'm ok, but I feel like people expect you to have some big story or some shit. It gets exhausting. I'm just staying alive, and playing video games.
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Don't worry, people just like to make small talk. They don't put much stock in what you're about to say unless it's truly intriguing. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but these just sound like niceties.
 
Brokofiev

Brokofiev

Member
Jun 20, 2019
328
I'm just owning it these days. When COVID was first starting, I discovered running (used to lift a lot, but gym closed) and put a lot of time into that and my creative hobbies. Lost a ton of weight and felt really productive. Things got hard around the holidays, because I realized I hadn't seen my family for a full year, the longest I've ever not seen them in my life. I retreated into video games pretty hard and put like eight pounds back on. I was really embarrassed by that for a week or so, but since the beginning of February, I've just been openly in "fuck it, shit sucks, lemme eat pasta and ice cream and play my goddamn video games" mode. And it's so much better than trying to pretend I'm just killing it all the time.
 
Croc Man

Croc Man

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,546
I don't bother pretending for smalltalk for work, just make it clear it's a bit shit and try to get straight onto business.

With family no need to pretend.

People between are harder, a friend I hadn't contacted for a few weeks asked me how it was going and it took me ages to work out how to answer.
 
Jonathan Lanza

Jonathan Lanza

"I've made a Gigantic mistake"
Member
Feb 8, 2019
6,808
I actually take a lot pride in my ability to fake it. I do a lot of research about common talking points and look up people who do care about that stuff so I can imitate their general personalities and look as if I care as well.

It becomes second nature at a certain point
 
Doctor_Thomas

Doctor_Thomas

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,651
I've given up pretending.

I have managed to find happiness, to a degree, from myself but, my friends, everything is absolute dog shite at the moment and pretending it's OK and "stiff upper lip" nonsense won't help.

We should be expressing it because none of this is normal.
 
Baphomet

Baphomet

Member
Dec 8, 2018
16,961
I don't have to pretend, everything has been well in my life lately. When times were rough for me, I just avoided sensitive subjects and reminisced a lot.
 
AlgusUnderdunk

AlgusUnderdunk

Member
Dec 30, 2020
15,270
In my head I hear a low voice belowing, "YOU'RE NOT OKAAAAY. YOU'RE NOT OKAAAAY." then the actual voice in my head suggests we might want to stop listening to Frankie Boyle for a while.
 
Red

Red

Member
Oct 26, 2017
11,681
We don't have a choice but to bear it. I hope for as many people as possible, "OK" can at least mean "bearable." It's tough for sure—really tough. But things will change. "Normal" may be gone, as we remember it. But there is going to be a respite from the personal burden of a pandemic at some point in the future.
 
MrRob

MrRob

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
6,671
I decided a couple years ago to shift the way I think about and interact with the world. My main thing is assuming positive intent from those around me.

It's been difficult to try and stay positive over the past year but there are plenty of things for me to be positive about. Not the least of which is the continued health of myself and my family. I also became a grandpa this year so whenever things get particularly dark I just wait for my granddaughter to smile at me or laugh and that sound or sight always melts any stress away.
 
Perzeval

Perzeval

Prophet of Truth
Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
10,551
Sweden
I started writing a response that became to long in the end. I will shorten it to; if you're willing listen, listen to this:

It's a long listen but there's some real gems of advice in it. It has helped me to view things differently.
 
Valiant

Valiant

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,310
ExhaustedWalrus said:
I sure wish I could but I live in Tennessee, plus I don't know where I'd get some
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Too bad. but soon hopefully. You'll be surrounded by recreational and medical states soon enough. If you're close to Missouri my state its medically legal.

EDIT: To the others who quoted me. Weed is a wonderful drug. It got me thru 2020 and I had already been using it prior. Its just a nice way to cope with the world.
 
Zombine

Zombine

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,231
I take anti-depressants. I am miserable and have panic attacks all the time. People think I'm incredibly sweet and funny and I try my best to make others feel good, but I'm not in a great place most of the time.

You have some things to be excited about man. You have a wedding on the way which should definitely give you something to look forward to.
 
deimosmasque

deimosmasque

Ugly, Queer, Gender-Fluid, Drive-In Mutant, yes?
Moderator
Apr 22, 2018
14,205
Tampa, Fl
I work in retail. It's always pretending every day. Especially when people ignore the signs about masks, customer limits, directional arrows guiding you through the store.

And most recently today. Someone ranting about how "statically the Spanish Flu was worse and no one closed schools or wore masks" while she wore a Blue Lives Matter flag mask.
 
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