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About to Break Up With My Girlfriend

EVA UNIT 01

EVA UNIT 01

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,735
CA
I just went through one OP.
Some similarities.
But our issue was more on her literally not wanting to live in reality and just ignoring responsibilities to take EX and party to forget.
She was a toxic child in a woman's body.
You're doing the right thing OP.
Don't feel weak if theres any feelings of missing her.
It won't be her you miss-itll be the closeness of another human.
 
Lobster Roll

Lobster Roll

signature-less, now and forever
Member
Sep 24, 2019
34,372
Probably time to bail. I can't think of multiple issues that I have with my SO because it's usually when one thing comes up, we squash it and figure out how to move forward together. You've got like two dozen things listed out there. You're extremely deep in the hole, and I can't even begin to imagine where the two of you would begin to sort all of that out.
 
SugarWater7521

SugarWater7521

Member
Apr 10, 2018
214
Yeah man, you're making the right call. 23 is so young and you've got lots and lots of great years ahead of you, all of which will almost certainly be better out of this relationship.
 

Garth2000

Member
Oct 27, 2017
711
You made the right call OP.

Sounds like she expects the perfect relationship. The kind from tv and movies that doesn't actually exist. You can never live up to that.

I was in a similar relationship at your age and thankfully ended it.

Now I've been with my wife for 15 years. We don't have the perfect marriage, but we make it work and love each other warts and all. There are things we both wish the other would do more of/differently, but we love each other dispite that and support each other no matter what.
 
Anoxida

Anoxida

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,534
It takes two to tango, it's never one persons fault in a relationship but I see it happening over and over again that one person simply blames the other and wont look at themselves. And while she probably is right about some things it sounds like she doesnt have her prorities set straight. I wish you the best of luck OP.
 
TaterTots

TaterTots

Member
Oct 27, 2017
12,963
I see how you list the times like its a job or something. Do you bail as soon as you see the time? Are you actually there when you are over there or are you doing school work and such the entire time? Sounds like its time for you 2 bail. It's not a good sign if you have a stopwatch going.
 
Shiloh

Shiloh

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,710
23, still in schooling, and dealing with some family stuff.

If y'all aren't willing to grow together than it won't work. You both have a lot of changes/growing coming up soon based on your age and situation.
 
Dark Ninja

Dark Ninja

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,071
Yep get out now. If you live with her do it before curfew in case you need to get out of there. If you live somewhere with a curfew do it 10 mins before so she can't come over.
 
OP
OP
Star-Lord

Star-Lord

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,798
Thanks again for all the kind words it's been several hours and I feel very alone and looking through old pictures. I don't regret the time I had but it's hard to look at now.
 
Ryu

Ryu

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,316
Star-Lord said:
Thanks again for all the kind words it's been several hours and I feel very alone and looking through old pictures. I don't regret the time I had but it's hard to look at now.
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Had the same situation early this year. Some up and downs included, but even though I second guessed it maybe sometimes (esp. because quarantine can be lonely lol), I knew it was the right decision. I'm 28 now. You're 5 years younger. Enjoy your life!
Also, put them away in a nice box or so. Just for you. Have the same thing, for good laughs.
 

talkingood

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,126
Star-Lord said:
Hey everybody is happened, we went to a bench and talked for an hour or two. Pretty much ended it on good terms but yeah i spit out all my issues and she started balling and starting going into how she messed up the relationship and she's scared to lose me but I realized it ain't health.
I'm feeling happy but also sad now.
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You did the right thing OP. No one likes to make another person cry but it had to be done. I had a similar situation with my girlfriend when I was your age. Met my now wife later that week and we've been together almost 8 years, married for 7 and we are crazy about each other. Think about it this way, you aren't wasting her time or yours anymore on a relationship that's going nowhere. Hope everything works out for you.
 
Shy

Shy

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
18,520
You made that right decision, OP.

(you're the one doing the throwing)
6TSWkb8.gif

Bor Gullet said:

I'm sorry OP
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Soooo. You want the op to kill younglings ?
 
BDS

BDS

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
13,845
One thing I always love when reading threads like this (on ERA/Reddit/etc) is they'll spend like ten paragraphs doing a detailed itinerary of every weird thing their partner has ever done in the relationship and then at the very end there's like a single vague sentence that "Yeah I did bad stuff too somewhere along the line but the point is..."

Like they can't have even the slightest amount of self-reflection to make even a little effort at an unbiased accounting of why their partner might be upset with them.
 
Vex

Vex

Member
Oct 25, 2017
22,213
Dude ... You're in your early 20s, you're going to school, and you've got a job. You don't need to be worried bout nothing except your family and yourself.

Edit: Nevermind I saw the update. :( Well that was anticlimactic. But good on you.
 
Borgus

Borgus

Member
Apr 14, 2020
734
Toronto
You made the right choice, OP. Its gonna sting for a bit but you can definitely twist this into a "funny" breakup story (tell people it was all about the ketchup.)
 
Zetta

Zetta

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
7,643
Time to bail OP or wait until the gym opens up to bail then. There just seems to be too many issues right now OP so yeah breaking it up feels like the best choice.
 
Thorrgal

Thorrgal

Member
Oct 26, 2017
12,325
BDS said:
One thing I always love when reading threads like this (on ERA/Reddit/etc) is they'll spend like ten paragraphs doing a detailed itinerary of every weird thing their partner has ever done in the relationship and then at the very end there's like a single vague sentence that "Yeah I did bad stuff too somewhere along the line but the point is..."

Like they can't have even the slightest amount of self-reflection to make even a little effort at an unbiased accounting of why their partner might be upset with them.
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This is not a trial or a deposition, it's just someone looking for some comforting words
 
Ryu

Ryu

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,316
Dice said:
That's the same colour as the worst pimples. ...I have a horrible taste in my mouth suddenly.

And OP, nothing is more exciting than the chance to fall in love again, you'll find something better again one day for sure.
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H.. how? D... Did you eat your pimples?
 
OP
OP
Star-Lord

Star-Lord

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,798
Bishop89 said:
She sounds extremely insecure. I think it's the right decision. Doesn't sound healthy at all.
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Yeah she told me she realizes she has a lot of these. Its 1am here and i just keep thinking about her and whether it was the right choice but i think i did. Its just so hard when you know you still love the person but its not working out.
 
kai3345

kai3345

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,444
Star-Lord said:
Yeah she told me she realizes she has a lot of these. Its 1am here and i just keep thinking about her and whether it was the right choice but i think i did. Its just so hard when you know you still love the person but its not working out.
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it sucks dude. i went through a breakup last week. granted i was the one getting dumped. i've been extremely sick and stressed due to being overworked the past couple of months and she came over one day out of the blue and dumped me right in the middle of the shitstorm my life has been going through. we recently took a trip to japan together and I went back and looked through the entire photo album we made of the trip together just sobbing the entire time

but its been about a week now and I'm slowly starting to recognize just how many we problems we actually had & how non-compatible we actually were for each other. we had some similar issues to what you laid out in the OP and I'm starting to realize how much of a weight is off my shoulders now that I'm out of this relationship. so, it may suck now but with some time you'll hopefully likely start to see how much of a relief it is to get out of a situation like that.
 
EVIL

EVIL

Senior Concept Artist
Verified
Oct 27, 2017
2,783
Star-Lord said:
Yeah she told me she realizes she has a lot of these. Its 1am here and i just keep thinking about her and whether it was the right choice but i think i did. Its just so hard when you know you still love the person but its not working out.
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Best to not look back, just move forward.. get a good nights rest and move forward, clean the house, watch some movies, and meet up with friends you might have not seen in a while. enjoy the lack of all those tense relationship going sour feelings you had and be in the moment and go forward.

Regret is not healthy and is just your old self being accustomed to being in a state you where and needing to readjust. don't give in. Its for the best, I could have only seen this getting worse, not better.
 
B.O.O.M.

B.O.O.M.

Member
Oct 25, 2017
8,761
Gym up and hit the lawyer
..

bt no seriously good idea to bail mate. You are 23. You don't need that shit. You will be more than fine :)
 
Razmos

Razmos

Unshakeable One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 28, 2017
15,890
Good work OP, glad it went decently well. Enjoy your newfound freedom, look at all the positives but its still okay to be sad, you'll get over it
 
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