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A thread for those who are mentally done
- Thread starter ExhaustedWalrus
- Start date
The current political climate, social media and the uncertain financial climate are all too much for me.
I'm in the same boat as a lot of you. Politics, school, work and my future all fill me with anxiety & dread.
OP
OP
I just feel like compared to other people at work why even try? I'll never be liked or considered smart. So my brain shuts off.
And with world events like so many of you mentioned it's draining.
And with world events like so many of you mentioned it's draining.
Today at school a couple of my twelfth-graders got into the elevator to go downstairs, which is against the rules, because they were tired. I let them because I really don't care. We go down one floor and the principal gets on and starts badgering them to get off, so I stood up for them and said "Sorry, I asked them to join me to talk about our club activities." We didn't talk about anything of the sort; I'm just tired of dealing with admin shit and seeing it affect the kids. Fuck all that.
You ever get so done you just sit there...staring at nothing while your mind is just quiet and empty? No thoughts, no feelings just a silent numbness?
OP
OP
I know where you are, I was there not long ago
It kinda faded after a while, but ever since then I feel like my emotions all got dampened big time. Like some of the greyness stuck and now I can't seem to get back to feeling things with any sort of intensity
Though sometimes I wonder if its for the best, I really hope you can get out of what you're going through unscathed buddy
Yeah I can absolutely relate man. It's not every day but I certainly have a few shit days a week.
I'm almost there at my current job.
I've been here 16 years, and although I've moved up and gotten raises, I'm so tired of having to deal with stupid people and constant repetition of the same stuff over and over.
No idea where I would go or what I'd do to make the same money though, and I absolutely can't make less.
I'm tired and checked out at work, however I'm good/happy at home..so at least there's that.
I've been here 16 years, and although I've moved up and gotten raises, I'm so tired of having to deal with stupid people and constant repetition of the same stuff over and over.
No idea where I would go or what I'd do to make the same money though, and I absolutely can't make less.
I'm tired and checked out at work, however I'm good/happy at home..so at least there's that.
OP
OP
Exactly. For me all it takes is one little thing to sour my mood the whole day. Right now I'm just sick of everyone at work, wish I could work at home, but contractors can't which fucking sucks. It's just mentally draining being around people all the time
I don't belong in society. I don't get along with people and I'm a selfish ass and bad friend anyway.
Work is backstage dealings and office politics. Everyone over 40 at my job is wildly incompetent and literally sleep at their desk. Anyone with a hint of talent goes up north an hour to the bay area.
I just go home get high and just sorta lie there in bed. Don't even know why I live at home anymore I've had every possible conversation with my boring family I could possibly have. Theyre regressive chuds and I hate them for that but I have too many mental illnesses to stand on my own 2 feet.
Work is backstage dealings and office politics. Everyone over 40 at my job is wildly incompetent and literally sleep at their desk. Anyone with a hint of talent goes up north an hour to the bay area.
I just go home get high and just sorta lie there in bed. Don't even know why I live at home anymore I've had every possible conversation with my boring family I could possibly have. Theyre regressive chuds and I hate them for that but I have too many mental illnesses to stand on my own 2 feet.
I've had jobs in the past that just crushed my soul daily. If that is you... get out now. Start looking for something else tomorrow. That shit will stay with you and can ruin good jobs in the future. Almost like PTSD. After leaving a particularly horrible job and then getting a great one, it took me almost a year to not wake up in the morning with anxiety.
It's just my first semester in grad school, and I already feel like this. It's just so much work with almost no breaks. The only "fun" thing I do each week is watch an episode of Titans. Otherwise it's school, homework, eating, and sleeping. When I do have some free time, I mostly just sleep more. I don't know.
I feel like this sometimes, I feel like I'm in autopilot a lot. I don't even have any issues or anything either. Work is great, the pay is amazing and everything with family is cool too.
I need a break I think, OP you probably need that too. I'm going to book a couple weeks off from work at the beginning of next year to recharge my brain.
I need a break I think, OP you probably need that too. I'm going to book a couple weeks off from work at the beginning of next year to recharge my brain.
I feel the same way. 9-5 work life wears me down, and considering my schedule isn't terribly consistent with me either working nights or weekends I can't really get more than a single day off most weeks.
I kinda want to just take a few weeks of a month(s) with a long distance hike. I gotta say that quitting Facebook has done a lot of good for my mental health in terms of feeling happier. But this monotony of work is just tiring and I don't want to keep this current lifestyle much longer
I kinda want to just take a few weeks of a month(s) with a long distance hike. I gotta say that quitting Facebook has done a lot of good for my mental health in terms of feeling happier. But this monotony of work is just tiring and I don't want to keep this current lifestyle much longer
I can relate.
I have a pretty demanding job with a lot of responsibility and I am supervised by a less than adequate management.
On top of that I have had a lot of things happening at the same time.
I became a father eight weeks ago, it was the best thing to ever happen to me, I can manage the sleep deprivation but my wife suffers from a mild case of postpartum depression. But hey, it´ll get better over time time, right?
Not quite, Three weeks after my son was born I get a call from my father in the middle of the night and tells me my big brother, who I was very close with, had died in an accident on the way home from work. He was relatively young, healthy and just had a freak accident, hit his head and died. I have been a mess ever since.
I took three days off from work, greeted by a heavier workload on my return because I missed work.
I have to remotely try to console my nephew (17 years old) who has lost his father, as well as my father (77 years old) who has lost his first born son.
Meanwhile, my wife has a hard time mourning my brother and taking care of our baby while I am at work.
I spent the last weekend traveling to another city to pack and move out my brother's belongings out of his apartment. The first thing I see in my brother's bedroom is my father crying while he is folding my brothers clothing and putting them away. Later I was clearing his work desk out and found his wallet and credit cards along with the invitation for my wedding that he had designed for us. I thought "Oh! these are important, you don't want lose his ID and credit cards" that's when I realized that they no longer have any value or function since he is no more. It was strange and heartbreaking to realize that the things you try to always bring with you lose all importance once you are gone.
In addition , having to travel to see my father and nephew has hit my economy pretty bad and financially I will be struggling the coming two moths, can´t wait for the credit card bill /s.
At 34 years old I have buried my mother who died 11 years ago of cancer and my big brother just two weeks ago, I only have my dad left in my immediate family.
At this point I am just done.
My brother and I had just started talking about my father's advancing age and how we need to prepare, our father also had a cancer scare a month before my brother passed. My brother and I having each other, we agreed, would be the thing that would help us cope.
So here I am, at a point in my life I should be the happiest, struggling to get out of bed every morning.
My wife is fantastic with me and our lovely son and as soon as I go on parental leave I will be a lot more content with life.
All it takes is time.
Like my brother said during a troubled time of his: "Things are just as they are, right now this is how it is."
I just find myself wishing to know when I can catch a break. If I did not have my wife and especially my son I'd have to get admitted.
I will be fine, but at this moment I am mentally done.
Edit: Sorry if I was rambling in my post, I do not often post online. If you read what I wrote I appreciate you taking the time.
I just stumbled on this thread and it set me off. I heard it is good to write down how you feel sometimes.
I have a pretty demanding job with a lot of responsibility and I am supervised by a less than adequate management.
On top of that I have had a lot of things happening at the same time.
I became a father eight weeks ago, it was the best thing to ever happen to me, I can manage the sleep deprivation but my wife suffers from a mild case of postpartum depression. But hey, it´ll get better over time time, right?
Not quite, Three weeks after my son was born I get a call from my father in the middle of the night and tells me my big brother, who I was very close with, had died in an accident on the way home from work. He was relatively young, healthy and just had a freak accident, hit his head and died. I have been a mess ever since.
I took three days off from work, greeted by a heavier workload on my return because I missed work.
I have to remotely try to console my nephew (17 years old) who has lost his father, as well as my father (77 years old) who has lost his first born son.
Meanwhile, my wife has a hard time mourning my brother and taking care of our baby while I am at work.
I spent the last weekend traveling to another city to pack and move out my brother's belongings out of his apartment. The first thing I see in my brother's bedroom is my father crying while he is folding my brothers clothing and putting them away. Later I was clearing his work desk out and found his wallet and credit cards along with the invitation for my wedding that he had designed for us. I thought "Oh! these are important, you don't want lose his ID and credit cards" that's when I realized that they no longer have any value or function since he is no more. It was strange and heartbreaking to realize that the things you try to always bring with you lose all importance once you are gone.
In addition , having to travel to see my father and nephew has hit my economy pretty bad and financially I will be struggling the coming two moths, can´t wait for the credit card bill /s.
At 34 years old I have buried my mother who died 11 years ago of cancer and my big brother just two weeks ago, I only have my dad left in my immediate family.
At this point I am just done.
My brother and I had just started talking about my father's advancing age and how we need to prepare, our father also had a cancer scare a month before my brother passed. My brother and I having each other, we agreed, would be the thing that would help us cope.
So here I am, at a point in my life I should be the happiest, struggling to get out of bed every morning.
My wife is fantastic with me and our lovely son and as soon as I go on parental leave I will be a lot more content with life.
All it takes is time.
Like my brother said during a troubled time of his: "Things are just as they are, right now this is how it is."
I just find myself wishing to know when I can catch a break. If I did not have my wife and especially my son I'd have to get admitted.
I will be fine, but at this moment I am mentally done.
Edit: Sorry if I was rambling in my post, I do not often post online. If you read what I wrote I appreciate you taking the time.
I just stumbled on this thread and it set me off. I heard it is good to write down how you feel sometimes.
I am suicidal but recently I checked out mentally because I just accepted that its not getting better so I can relate.
Just took a random week off from work just to do nothing and try to relax.
Just took a random week off from work just to do nothing and try to relax.
What wears me down mentally is going to work and noticing that people who are demonstrably not as competent or reliable as you are still somehow in equal standing in the eyes of management. I don't even like my job, but I show up on time and do it well anyway, and it doesn't seem to matter because the person next to me is late and fucking off on company time and getting the same paycheck.
Yeah, life comes at you fast.
Not gonna remember 2019 as a good year at all. I've used all my fucks left and now I'm sold out.
Not gonna remember 2019 as a good year at all. I've used all my fucks left and now I'm sold out.
Those days have been increasingly frequent for me. Where you just feel like you're in a void, staring blankly forward, going through the motions.
It's fucking rough, man.
It's fucking rough, man.
I felt it for a while. Physically disabled for over two and a half years. Having to wake up so long without knowing if I'll ever recover. If I will ever be financially ok again. Thinking I'm a burden to everyone around me.
I got past most of this, but it's pretty easy to fall back into mentally checking out. There was just nothing left to give a lot of days.
I got past most of this, but it's pretty easy to fall back into mentally checking out. There was just nothing left to give a lot of days.
I'm doing what I always thought of as my dream job. It's not bad, but terribly demanding and draining, sucks all the fun out of it. I asked myself if I'm doing what I love and the answer is not really. I have done research on possible alternative career, and so far it's not much better: people are burntout, feeling abused, wanting to leave their field (lol) etc etc.
Been working for the county for six years, bot nowhere near of getting a stable job. Don't got the education to do anything else. So just working on and on and hoping things will look up.
Everything else in my life is going pretty well, but I'm personally unfulfilled. My days are filled with non-stop obligations and demands for my time from other people. I have almost no spare time or energy to pursue things I enjoy. On the rare occasion I do have some free time, I get anxiety about trying to maximize it while simultaneously dreading whatever the next thing to pull me away will be. It's no way to live, that's for sure.
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Yeah I'm done. I went through a year of health problems, completely misdiagnosed. Now I have permanent issues and I'm dependent on meds for the wrong diagnosis. Getting off those means months of withdrawal symptoms in addition to worsening of the stuff I have to deal with daily now.
So quality of life isn't where I want it and never will be. Meanwhile I have kids that need to grow up and go to college.. so work is a required thing.
I've replaced being a productive person that enjoyed life to one that is just mentally done. Also not suicidal.. just fearful of the future and dread every day.
So quality of life isn't where I want it and never will be. Meanwhile I have kids that need to grow up and go to college.. so work is a required thing.
I've replaced being a productive person that enjoyed life to one that is just mentally done. Also not suicidal.. just fearful of the future and dread every day.
Yes. I have no energy because of my anxiety meds. I need my anxiety meds to get through the day and function at work but then I want to come home and lay around until I go to bed. This is causing other health problems that lead to more meds that kill my sex drive and make me even more tired.
On top of that I constantly worry about the future now that I have a son. It kills me to think about what he might have to go through one day.
I'm tied of all of it but don't do anything to make it better.
On top of that I constantly worry about the future now that I have a son. It kills me to think about what he might have to go through one day.
I'm tied of all of it but don't do anything to make it better.
I have needed a long vacation and break for a while now and I'm done with pretty much anything that is a common noun.
I'm so exhausted and burnt out.
I'm so exhausted and burnt out.
Myself. We're still going to get married in the summer. I'm going back home to California for medical reasons (severe anxiety and panic attacks related to my military service). The VA here in South Dakota doesn't have the resources I need.
Ultimately, the plan will be to move her out with me in the summer after we get married. It's just not possible to get our stuff out there at this point in time.
I feel like this.
I have a very soul destroying job. I've been with my employer for over 10 years and I've been doing this particular job for 2.
It's very frustrating and I would quit or at least take a massive pay cut and go do anything else but due to life issues I'm stuck needing to bring in the amount of money I currently make for at least the next few years.
I feel trapped and I'm getting very depressed.
I have a very soul destroying job. I've been with my employer for over 10 years and I've been doing this particular job for 2.
It's very frustrating and I would quit or at least take a massive pay cut and go do anything else but due to life issues I'm stuck needing to bring in the amount of money I currently make for at least the next few years.
I feel trapped and I'm getting very depressed.
You mean meditation?
That's actually a positive in today's information-overload. Take time-out to sit in silence without thought, although typically the way to reduce thought is to concentrate on your own breathing and its physical effect on your own body.
Even though I have a good amount of dbt coping skills to ease the stress. After 4.5 years of weird mishaps and successful appeals dragging out SSI disability process, I'm just too mentally exhausted to invest into anything. I don't feel like I'm done, though. I can't get my feet out of the red long enough for fresh air to have much to be 'done' about. If anything i feel broken and defeated. I tried being strong and doing my best. I put my all into it. But you can only flex while in the danger zone too much before it ceases to feel dangerous anymore.
Yeah, I had two stress breakdowns in front of people at work this week, always a good look. Chef was like "please don't quit, you're the only sane person here and I need to depend on you."
Pretty sure I don't get paid enough to do well 95% of the time and then drop dead from a brain hemorrhage during a week leading up to Thanksgiving or something
Pretty sure I don't get paid enough to do well 95% of the time and then drop dead from a brain hemorrhage during a week leading up to Thanksgiving or something
It's really nothing. I like working with teenagers. The kids are almost never the problem. The admins who act like agents of chaos and pile us with extra commitments (usually things that should be their jobs) that would sink any private business, let alone a school? We'd all be better off without them.
I don't know what's gotten into them, but this is my fifth year and it's the worst by far.
I feel like an empty husk, with no interest in either the outside world or attempting to better myself in any regard.
Getting impatient waiting for death.
Getting impatient waiting for death.
I've been feeling incredibly done with everything as well. Spending 5 days a week at the office doing mind numbing work just to get 2 days of relaxation time is slowly breaking me. It doesn't help that I'm struggling to balance my free time between my girlfriend, friends and alone time. I'm now considering giving up 10% of my pay just to get 2 additional days off every month. I know it won't be enough, but at least it's something.
Your perception of time changes as you age, so yes. I feel the same right now, the costant need for weekend is making my week dissolve in my mind and effectively it feels way shorter than it is