I'm a male manager and I don't struggle with worrying about this. Perhaps because I'm not a misogynistic shit. I dunno.
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60% of male managers now say they’re uncomfortable participating in work activities with women (CNBC)
- Thread starter Khamsinvera
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Jesus Christ, just don't be a piece of shit. Treat women with basic human decency and you have nothing to worry about.
Humans are broken.
Humans are broken.
Sounds like you have had an issue, the issue just isn't your behavior but rather other peoples' behavior. You shouldn't shrug that off, say something. I took the same approach when I was being sexually harassed in the workplace and it turns out there were other people getting worse harassment than I was. If I had said something to my boss or HR instead of waiting till they came to me, something couldve been done sooner.
More than that, no one should be harassing you in the workplace. If you are respecting others but they aren't respecting you, that's wrong.
Seems to be based off an online poll.
Notes on Methodology
Notes on Methodology
- This SurveyMonkey online poll was conducted February 22-March 1, 2019, among a national sample of 5,182 adults in the U.S. ages eighteen and older. The modeled error estimate is +/- 2 percentage points. Unless otherwise noted, all statistics are from the February 22-March 1, 2019 SurveyMonkey poll. Data for all surveys have been weighted for age, race, sex, education, and geography using the Census Bureau's American Community Survey to reflect the demographic composition of the United States age eighteen and over.
- This SurveyMonkey online poll was conducted January 23–25, 2018, among a national sample of 2,950 employed adults. The modeled error estimate is +/-2.5% percentage points.
- This SurveyMonkey online poll was conducted March 6-10, 2019, among 3,556 adults with a modeled error estimate of +/- 2.5 percentage points.
Previous places i worked wouldn't allow male managers to be alone with female employees. There had to be a woman manger present for 1 on 1s or reprimands. This was well before me too.
I think there's two different levels of being uncomfortable.
There's the Mike Pence weirdo "I don't want to cheat on my wife" uncomfortable.
Then there's the uncomfortable from the level of the company, which has nothing to do with being a creep or trying to sexually harass someone, but rather company policies that make it more uncomfortable than it should be.
There's the Mike Pence weirdo "I don't want to cheat on my wife" uncomfortable.
Then there's the uncomfortable from the level of the company, which has nothing to do with being a creep or trying to sexually harass someone, but rather company policies that make it more uncomfortable than it should be.
This probably will not be a popular opinion here, but alot of times it has nothing to do with the male manager. I am a man and was a manager at a large retail chain for about 7 years with men and women both reporting to me. I am happily married with a child, and i do not have a wandering eye, and treated everyone the same.
This is not me being sexist, I do not think all women are to blame in these many, many stories we read that have come out about sexism in the workplace, sexual harassment / assault, etc. I am not victim blaming. A male manager could have an exemplary job performance, and be extremely professional to everyone, and all it would take is one rumor to fly around, one woman to say something, and it spreads like wildfire. How many people on this forum have office jobs? Then you see how quickly misinformation can spread around.
As far as HR is concerned, they will cut ties with a male manager over the slightest thing when it comes to the opposite sex. It wouldnt matter if it was unsubstantiated or not. This did not happen to me, but i saw it happen to alot of people over the years i worked there.
This is not me being sexist, I do not think all women are to blame in these many, many stories we read that have come out about sexism in the workplace, sexual harassment / assault, etc. I am not victim blaming. A male manager could have an exemplary job performance, and be extremely professional to everyone, and all it would take is one rumor to fly around, one woman to say something, and it spreads like wildfire. How many people on this forum have office jobs? Then you see how quickly misinformation can spread around.
As far as HR is concerned, they will cut ties with a male manager over the slightest thing when it comes to the opposite sex. It wouldnt matter if it was unsubstantiated or not. This did not happen to me, but i saw it happen to alot of people over the years i worked there.
It doesn't significantly bother me, to be honest. And I'm a contract worker so I do 2-3 months in a facility and then go to another one. Most of the time I'm switching back and forth between one of the 4-5 facilities that consistently need me there every once in a while. If I go in and make waves, they're not going to ask me to come back. It's just part of the job to me.
User Banned (Permanent): Rationalizing Sexism; Previous Severe Infraction for Excusing Bigotry
I think the managers are just hesitant to be put into a situation where it's a he said, she said thing that could ruin your life. And in the current climate, for good reason, the she said has more power.
Don't be a fucking piece of human shit and there won't be anything to be scared of. Goddamn men can be so fucking dumb when it comes to this kinda shit. Me and my best friend are both managers in healthcare where most of our reps are female and we've never had a single complaint. It's really not hard to be professional.
Ok 30%
The other 30% think women they work with will lie and claim sexual harassment
This is why people don't report sexual harassment. I mean I get in, I've been in this situation before and I had plenty of reasons for not saying anything also. I'm just saying that if no one ever says anything, nothing changes. I regret not saying anything sooner. You don't have to obviously, and I'm not judging you if you just wanna ignore it, but it just makes me sad to see.
Thats ridiculous. Plain and simple.
I do know some guys in abusive relationships that don't feel comfortable in those listed situations because they are afraid of what their significant other will say or do if they found out but other than that....
I do know some guys in abusive relationships that don't feel comfortable in those listed situations because they are afraid of what their significant other will say or do if they found out but other than that....
Wait, your example of everything being ok is that you are sexually harassed at work?
Thats a good point.
Male manager hangs out with female employee outside of work like they would any other guy.
She is great at her job, get a promotion but she is instead seen as "you probably slept with male manager and thats why you got he raise, we know you guys hang out".
I am sure that scenario is far less than the majority that just don't think they can control themselves but I find it hard to believe the entire 60% is like that.
I knew we'd get one of these shit posts sooner or later. Some people are clueless...
Never known of a professional setting where people need to be that careful hanging out with colleagues. Ever.
This is some alarmist nonsense to be honest.
I wouldn't want to be in a one on one social situation with a woman subordinate. Could end up with bad rumors for both. I've heard those "sleeping with the boss" rumors before.
Did you just ask to have sex with me?
Why is this so difficult?!
Edit - if anyone caught my edit, lmao.
Either have I.
I do think a decent number of that group aren't worried about HR issues and more just fellow employees talking and being shitty.
I remember lots of jobs. I hang out with a guy I work with, people don't even second guess, I hang out with a girl I work with and people start asking questions.
I could only imagine that getting worse when a hierarchy is involved.
I kinda noticed this when our previous female manager left and they hired a male replacement. Our team is like 70% women.
You could tell he didnt quite know what the right tone was for the women staff and was always been awkwardly careful sometimes to not sound too bossy while trying to sound bossy. With the Male staff the dude was much always more direct and forward.
You could tell he didnt quite know what the right tone was for the women staff and was always been awkwardly careful sometimes to not sound too bossy while trying to sound bossy. With the Male staff the dude was much always more direct and forward.
Fucking bang. Just treat everyone like, you know, human beings and it's a non-issue. During my time in leadership I managed more women than men and they're all individuals with their own personalities, thoughts, and feelings regardless of gender, race, age, or orientation. Put those individual talents, strengths, and life experiences to work for you because every one is an asset.
If you can't deal without generalizing people, then get the fuck out. Those you're managing deserve better.
Absolutely. Not everyone else does though, and that can be an issue. I can be friends with a women but other people don't think I can.
"the current climate"
looks at most recently elected president
looks at most recently confirmed supreme court justice
Ok sure
Just because you're confident of something doesn't mean you're correct about it.
Except his point is claiming men ought to avoid being friends with women at work because it could ruin his career not that assholes will be sexist to her
His entire concern is about how women can ruin things for men.
I mean if it was anything that really bothered me, I would talk privately to the coworker about it or, if it was a client, have them reassigned to someone else. But I haven't had to do that yet. I work in nursing homes. My clients are disabled, elderly women. I'm an able-bodied man, and the provider in a healthcare provider-patient relationship with each client. I have the "power" in most situations that occur just by virtue of the space I occupy in the environment I'm in.
On the other hand, I have had clients with histories of sexual trauma or others with a history of reporting sexual harassment. In those cases, most of the time my manager will inform me and ask that I have a woman coworker with me during interactions. I always comply with that because it makes things more comfortable for myself and for the client.
Edit: My posts weren't meant to minimize the effects of sexual harassment. It's just not really a huge issue for me personally. My point was more that I'm in an upper-handed position in an environment with many more woman than man coworkers. Same with clients. And it's not hard to avoid being a piece of shit. If women just went out throwing accusations for a payday, I would be a prime target. And yet there's no problem.
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Maybe these poor men will be safer and more comfortable looking after the kids and being their own boss in their partner's kitchen instead?
I can see that a bit in a re-read.
I didn't see it as how women can ruin things for men more that people can't not be sexist and see 2 people of opposite genders together and not just assume bang town and how that can sometimes lead to ruined careers.
Edit: which is still stupid cause I don't think it would ever ruin the guys career only the womans.
Aside from the idea of the "she said" having more power which is complete bullshit, for the actual bad cases it's pretty much never just one woman, people who do this shit once are almost always repeat offenders in legitimate cases
Yep. He said she said carries equal weight one to one more often than not because...well thats not enough. When its he said and 24x she said well....thats way more than enough.
That first post magic.
It's quite amusing/sad how true this rings.
Hell don't even need to treat everyone like normal human beings, just the same.
Not to mention even in those cases there still aren't any real consequences half the time for the dude, and the women also gets doxxed and shit if the case was in any news site whatsoever
Exactly. If you're a good person who treats people with respect you are not going to generate a shit rep.
Just don't be a fucking creep. It's pretty easy.