Week One: A Trip through Bollywood Horror, with the Help of the Ramsay Brothers, Day 1 (Sept 27)
It starts, as these things often do, on a dark and stormy night. A recently married couple are on their way to their honeymoon, when their car breaks down and must take refuge in the old, dark mansion they just so happened to come by. Soon, the ghost of a vengeful spurned lover warns them that the sight of a bride in red drives him to murderous ends, which he quickly proves as he steps into the body of another man altogether, also pursuing his own bride on foot, possessing him to turn into a kind of werewolf creature with blood and rampage on its mind. Our couple comes across his ghastly crime and manage to break away to safety on a train, only to share their car with a very familiar looking man. Disaster inevitably strikes as a fight breaks out, a man is thrown through the window of a moving train, and the beast takes its second victim before moving seemingly moving onto another body to continue its revenge...
If that sounds like a solid premise for a movie, you would be correct, but I have amazingly described just the first 12 minutes of this film, at which point the opening titles finally hit and start cramming in even more plot and incident as the spirit, finding a yet-to-be identified new host in about the best place he could possibly set shop in: a town that acts as a hub for wedding processions for the entire region, giving him a virtually limitless supply of brides to murder. Bandits are blamed initially, but as the film progresses, the various players become more and more convinced that something supernatural is at play and that someone in the community may in fact be hiding a lot more than they let on. This does lend itself quite nicely to a nice, cozy creature feature with a bit of a whodunit appeal, as werewolf films can frequently venture into, had that been the sole principal plotline. Yet this is Bollywood, and we can't stop there, as we get treated to a good three seasons worth of soap opera melodrama as romantic rivals battle it out against each other for a quickly revolving door of would-be brides, wedding arrangements are made with the speed of a runaway train, an entire comic relief plotline occupies a good half hour of the film when all is said and done, dark pasts come back to haunt the present, and even a bit of mob rule comes into play as folks try desperately to find someone, anyone to pin the murders on when leads prove elusive. Forget two-and-a-half hours being enough: binge watching entire series over two-and-a-half weeks couldn't produce nearly as much incident as this film is hellbent on giving literally everyone out there something to sink their teeth into, consequences be damned.
For how messy the film is on a story level to its very, very core, especially with it being rather cavalier with its monster's presence in the proceedings and the complete obviousness of who our culprit is, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't largely onboard with its brand of shenanigans all the same. It is very much a film designed to entertain, and entertain it does with ridiculous feats of showmanship from our heroes (no horse goes un-vaulted without at least one full 360 degree flip, forward or backward), earnest song-and-dance numbers of love professions that do wind up being pretty damn catchy while being shot on surprisingly dangerous outdoor settings, and, yes, the absolute madness that our villain possesses as he looks like what would happen if someone caught Eddie Munster juicing with horse steroids while still being hilariously overpowered for even our heroes to handle properly in the rousing finale that pushes the insanity to sublime extremes. Even the melodrama can be fun to get wrapped up in with the characters you can make heads or tails about, with romantic rivals arriving with a frequency that can be described best as "reckless abandon" for how many would-be love interests pop in and out throughout.
Films like this are simultaneously their own worst enemy and their greatest champion, as you're forced to have to take the good with the bad as both are inextricably linked to each other. That I can use my own alternative title of "Four Weddings and a Werewolf" should give one an idea of exactly what to expect as they take this on. It's hard not to immediately jump onto the idea that this could have lost, at a very, very minimum, a half hour and be better for it, but gonzo films of this kinda need to be the whole package to make the proper impression and to elicit the proper reaction, like mine has been thus far. And so, we start off a week of Bollywood horror in the way I think I needed it to be all along: a lotta song, a lotta dance, a lotta bad comic relief, a lotta macho bravado, a lotta pretty women and a vengeful spirit that makes good on its word to leave this world forever by breaking through a man-shaped hole through a stone wall, shining a heavenly light on the world that can rest easy knowing that he possess any more men to become furry werecapuchins.
1/38