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30+ Era, what's the most important thing you learned in your 20's?
- Thread starter SolVanderlyn
- Start date
Most of these have been covered already:
Take care of your health. Start with good habits and you won't have as many issues later in life.
Be financially smart. Save early, invest early, and live within your means.
Have a plan. Always have a plan or goal you are working towards. It might change or you might even give up on it, but that's fine. It's more about planning than the actual plan.
Don't take things personally. The majority of the time it's not about you.
There is no right or wrong way to live. Life didn't come with a rulebook nor is there a test when it's over. You create your own purpose and meaning.
Take care of your health. Start with good habits and you won't have as many issues later in life.
Be financially smart. Save early, invest early, and live within your means.
Have a plan. Always have a plan or goal you are working towards. It might change or you might even give up on it, but that's fine. It's more about planning than the actual plan.
Don't take things personally. The majority of the time it's not about you.
There is no right or wrong way to live. Life didn't come with a rulebook nor is there a test when it's over. You create your own purpose and meaning.
-Save as much money as you can (but leave enough for some fun here and there).
-If you feel there's something wrong (health) don't let doctor's dismiss things (and if they finally think something IS wrong, make sure you get tested before it's too late).
-If you feel there's something wrong (health) don't let doctor's dismiss things (and if they finally think something IS wrong, make sure you get tested before it's too late).
Yep. Planning shit is stressful and always ends up going to shit and exercise is whats gonna keep you going way past your fat sloppy peers. Hit he gym guys.
Yeah if your drinking sugary shit and sodas stop now. Water and exercise now so that you get used to it moving forward, if you start a family or hit a slump you probably gonna hit a stage where you end up not giving a shit and you start to gain weight and get that dad bod that's fine just get back on the exercise wagon before 40 before it only gets harder after. Save your knees and your back stay flexible starting now.
Don't care about what other people think of you.
*YOU* are not whatever you majored in, whether or not you finished college, or what you do for a living. Life isn't a competition and people from high school or wherever will either overachieve or underachieve but what they do or don't do has no bearing on you.
On the flip side, be kind to people older than you who may not be as successful or as together as you are even in your 20s. I've found that a lot of young supervisors in their 20s who went to college, graduated on time, and did things "right", are not often very forgiving of their non-educated direct reports who may be anywhere from 20 to 60+. Everyone walks a different path and lots of people eventually learn that job titles and more money doesn't always mean more happiness.
edit:
Forgot to add that if you don't know what you want to be when you "grow up" that's okay and normal. People in their 50s and even 60s+ are often still trying to figure that out. The average person changes career fields some ridiculous number of times in their life.
*YOU* are not whatever you majored in, whether or not you finished college, or what you do for a living. Life isn't a competition and people from high school or wherever will either overachieve or underachieve but what they do or don't do has no bearing on you.
On the flip side, be kind to people older than you who may not be as successful or as together as you are even in your 20s. I've found that a lot of young supervisors in their 20s who went to college, graduated on time, and did things "right", are not often very forgiving of their non-educated direct reports who may be anywhere from 20 to 60+. Everyone walks a different path and lots of people eventually learn that job titles and more money doesn't always mean more happiness.
edit:
Forgot to add that if you don't know what you want to be when you "grow up" that's okay and normal. People in their 50s and even 60s+ are often still trying to figure that out. The average person changes career fields some ridiculous number of times in their life.
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Take care of yourself. Physically and mentally.
You can't do shit if you're unhealthy and feeling shitty, whether it's body or mind. If you feel good, you'll be more motivated and literally have more energy to do things. You'll be far more productive at work, at home and keeping everything in balance.
It all starts with YOU. Put yourself first. Everything else will fall in place. If something doesn't benefit you or put you in a better position tomorrow, don't do it. Also, don't worry about 5 years from now, or even next year. Focus on just getting through the week or the day. Break everything down to 1 hour chunks. "What can I do in this hour" should be your mindset. Progress is iterative. If you stick to it, you'll be amazed at what you'll accomplish in a month or two.
But overall, start every day with a game plan. That includes hygiene and food. Everything should involve you maintaining YOU to the utmost degree. Good habits and routines will lead to a good life.
You can't do shit if you're unhealthy and feeling shitty, whether it's body or mind. If you feel good, you'll be more motivated and literally have more energy to do things. You'll be far more productive at work, at home and keeping everything in balance.
It all starts with YOU. Put yourself first. Everything else will fall in place. If something doesn't benefit you or put you in a better position tomorrow, don't do it. Also, don't worry about 5 years from now, or even next year. Focus on just getting through the week or the day. Break everything down to 1 hour chunks. "What can I do in this hour" should be your mindset. Progress is iterative. If you stick to it, you'll be amazed at what you'll accomplish in a month or two.
But overall, start every day with a game plan. That includes hygiene and food. Everything should involve you maintaining YOU to the utmost degree. Good habits and routines will lead to a good life.
This. Just makes me wish that we're immune to health issues & in which we can eat anything we want.
Also this.
Unfortunately your body has some pretty primal needs and you are not above these needs.
Exercise. Eat Well. Sleep well. Meditate. Maintain a social circle. Keep in touch with your spirituality.
I spent a lot of my 20's just being unaware of the above, I figured I'd just know when I wasn't doing something that I needed to be but I'd go into massive moods or periods where I'd feel like shit and not realise. Pay attention to these and everything will follow.
Exercise. Eat Well. Sleep well. Meditate. Maintain a social circle. Keep in touch with your spirituality.
I spent a lot of my 20's just being unaware of the above, I figured I'd just know when I wasn't doing something that I needed to be but I'd go into massive moods or periods where I'd feel like shit and not realise. Pay attention to these and everything will follow.
Early thirties here. Still have no idea who or what I am. Don't expect to magically figure it out because of age.
I'm still bumbling around. I apply to jobs that look interesting but I've no faith I'll get called for while self publishing a novel I've no idea how to advertise on a limited budget. I'm just as lost now as I was in my 20s and that's OK because not everyone follows the same path.
I'm still bumbling around. I apply to jobs that look interesting but I've no faith I'll get called for while self publishing a novel I've no idea how to advertise on a limited budget. I'm just as lost now as I was in my 20s and that's OK because not everyone follows the same path.
OP
OP
This is good advice, maybe the best in the thread. I too used to think I was the one in control and I could do whatever and I'd know when things were wrong. Oops, eating a lot of carbs makes me sleepy, not getting enough sleep makes me irritable and unable to focus, not working out makes me lethargic, not taking time to care for myself spiritually leads me to think darker thoughts, etc. etc.
Your body and mind are more like symbiotes living with you than your actual self. Take care of them and your heart will be able to translate itself more clearly
I learned nothing in my 20s. In my 30s I learned that 20s goes VERY fast and there are no second chances.
Best change in my life that I did with 28 (29 now) and I feel great (well except for having the flu the past week, but what can you do with all the stress I had lol)
So far I learned:
- a bit of exercise weekly (3-4 times, doesn't have to be bodybuilding, but exercising to get it moving, stretching etc.) will improve your life tenfold
- banning sugar out of my life was a nice surprise, I don't crave it anymore except if I am high as shit which is rare and I feel so much better
- drinking a ton of green tee improved my gut flora, inflammation also went down a ton
- traveling > every other thing I buy, gave me perspective and tons of new friends in the world
- learning...can be really fun if you know how to learn, I never really done that in my life and those past 9 months (learning japanese daily for at least an hour with the best ressources) and now I have fun learning and know how to use my brain more effectivly
- most people don't give a shit about you, but they don't mean harm, care about anyone that cares about you, but don't get grumpy if some people don't contact you for months - also reach out by yourself too
- not caring what anyone thinks what you like, even better if it's your passion
- loyality at your job is useless, don't give a fuck about your job unless it's your company, just do your job
- free time to yourself is also very important to improve yourself
- always having a goal that you want to reach is the most important thing
- try to shake up your daily routine so that days feel slower, make new experiences or change things up
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- Helping others is its own reward.
- Being stuck as the shy/introvert individual isn't worth it. Something I noticed at the tail end of my 20s, as long as I had a good grasp of a certain subject, I didn't mind starting a conversation or giving advice, for better or for worse :P
- Letting shit go, not holding grudges, it's really not worth the stress.
- Being stuck as the shy/introvert individual isn't worth it. Something I noticed at the tail end of my 20s, as long as I had a good grasp of a certain subject, I didn't mind starting a conversation or giving advice, for better or for worse :P
- Letting shit go, not holding grudges, it's really not worth the stress.
Stop comparing yourself with others around you and you'll be the happiest person ever. Also learning to see the best in people and putting yourself in their shoes helps you avoid all conflicts.
Other than that I don't remember most of my 20s and early 30s, I was hardly ever sober.
Other than that I don't remember most of my 20s and early 30s, I was hardly ever sober.
Gonna do a quick list to add to my earlier post:
- Don't spend money you don't have. Try not to rely on credit cards or accumulate unnecessary debt. Be prudent with your money, but don't deprive yourself totally. Have some fun. But be reasonable with your purchases. You'll learn that most material shit isn't worth having. "Collecting" is a waste of money, unless you can actually afford it. Speaking of which, learn the difference between "affording" something versus merely paying for shit. Don't buy that new game if it means you gotta eat ramen for the next 6 days.
- Use the internet and social media as a tool. Technology can be incredibly resourceful or very detrimental. I see all of this stuff as a means to make my life simpler and network with people, whether it's professionally or socially. But don't invest too much time or mental real estate into this shit. Social media can be the fucking devil. It reinforces way too many negative and toxic ideas that you're better off not dealing with. Forums too. As I've gotten older, I spend less time on gaming forums. ERA is cool, but there's a lot of stupid ass drama here too that I simply cannot be bothered with. I got more important shit to do. Y'all do too.
- You are a product of your environment, even as an adult. Who you hang out with and associate will have some sort of influence on your life and habits. So if you hang out with folks who work out a lot and eat well, you probably will to. If you hang out with achievers, you'll likely be motivated to achieve. If you hang out with literal crack heads...well...You get the idea. Choose your friends and peer group wisely.
- Be nice to people. This is very important. It literally cost nothing to be nice. Plus, you never know who you're being nice too. You don't know what someone is going through. A simple hello, smile or kind gesture could make someone's day. I've had people tell me that my seemingly forgettable act of kindness stopped them from commiting suicide that day. It's simple. Just treat people the way you'd want to be treated. They teach you this shit in Kindergarten. Just be a decent human being. It goes a long way. But that doesn't mean being a door mat or letting people fuck with though. Stand your ground and defend yourself when necessary. Just don't burn bridges and tell the world to kiss your ass all the time.
- This one might be anecdotal and mostly for straight men, but I'll say it anyway. It's good to have women as platonic friends. The vast majority of my friends are women. You'll learn a helluva lot just by being around them and listening to them. In time, you'll appreciate and truly respect the bullshit they go through. That's not to say we (men) don't have our own societal problems. But women face a lot of stuff, that is largely not talked about nearly enough or at all. You'll grow as a man and be a better one for it. But just like any peers, when it comes to relationships, being romantic/ sexual, the wrong woman will royally fuck your life up. Don't be in a hurry to get your dick wet or get married. Chill the fuck out. It's cliché as hell, but there are PLENTY of fish in the sea. The right lady companion will show up eventually. Dating is a numbers game. Don't stress out too much about it.
Addendum: Speaking of women, I can't speak for all of them of course, but one thing most women seek is stability. They sure as hell don't want to take care of or raise a grown ass man. Also, they don't need you to save them. Trust me, don't have that attitude. It's very off putting. She can take care of herself, or least, should be able to. If not, she isn't worth your time either. So as long as you take care of yourself, have your shit together or on a clear path on getting it together, someone will notice. Again, women are great at picking up on really subtle queues and hints that most men just ignore. We tend to look at the bigger picture, while our female counterparts focus on underlying details and minutia. I'm aware it's a generalization, but it's something I've noticed in my encounters with people.
- Don't spend money you don't have. Try not to rely on credit cards or accumulate unnecessary debt. Be prudent with your money, but don't deprive yourself totally. Have some fun. But be reasonable with your purchases. You'll learn that most material shit isn't worth having. "Collecting" is a waste of money, unless you can actually afford it. Speaking of which, learn the difference between "affording" something versus merely paying for shit. Don't buy that new game if it means you gotta eat ramen for the next 6 days.
- Use the internet and social media as a tool. Technology can be incredibly resourceful or very detrimental. I see all of this stuff as a means to make my life simpler and network with people, whether it's professionally or socially. But don't invest too much time or mental real estate into this shit. Social media can be the fucking devil. It reinforces way too many negative and toxic ideas that you're better off not dealing with. Forums too. As I've gotten older, I spend less time on gaming forums. ERA is cool, but there's a lot of stupid ass drama here too that I simply cannot be bothered with. I got more important shit to do. Y'all do too.
- You are a product of your environment, even as an adult. Who you hang out with and associate will have some sort of influence on your life and habits. So if you hang out with folks who work out a lot and eat well, you probably will to. If you hang out with achievers, you'll likely be motivated to achieve. If you hang out with literal crack heads...well...You get the idea. Choose your friends and peer group wisely.
- Be nice to people. This is very important. It literally cost nothing to be nice. Plus, you never know who you're being nice too. You don't know what someone is going through. A simple hello, smile or kind gesture could make someone's day. I've had people tell me that my seemingly forgettable act of kindness stopped them from commiting suicide that day. It's simple. Just treat people the way you'd want to be treated. They teach you this shit in Kindergarten. Just be a decent human being. It goes a long way. But that doesn't mean being a door mat or letting people fuck with though. Stand your ground and defend yourself when necessary. Just don't burn bridges and tell the world to kiss your ass all the time.
- This one might be anecdotal and mostly for straight men, but I'll say it anyway. It's good to have women as platonic friends. The vast majority of my friends are women. You'll learn a helluva lot just by being around them and listening to them. In time, you'll appreciate and truly respect the bullshit they go through. That's not to say we (men) don't have our own societal problems. But women face a lot of stuff, that is largely not talked about nearly enough or at all. You'll grow as a man and be a better one for it. But just like any peers, when it comes to relationships, being romantic/ sexual, the wrong woman will royally fuck your life up. Don't be in a hurry to get your dick wet or get married. Chill the fuck out. It's cliché as hell, but there are PLENTY of fish in the sea. The right lady companion will show up eventually. Dating is a numbers game. Don't stress out too much about it.
Addendum: Speaking of women, I can't speak for all of them of course, but one thing most women seek is stability. They sure as hell don't want to take care of or raise a grown ass man. Also, they don't need you to save them. Trust me, don't have that attitude. It's very off putting. She can take care of herself, or least, should be able to. If not, she isn't worth your time either. So as long as you take care of yourself, have your shit together or on a clear path on getting it together, someone will notice. Again, women are great at picking up on really subtle queues and hints that most men just ignore. We tend to look at the bigger picture, while our female counterparts focus on underlying details and minutia. I'm aware it's a generalization, but it's something I've noticed in my encounters with people.
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i learned nothing in my 20s, or in my 30s.
like, what the hell is investing? how do people do that? i gamble what little i can on sports and stuff but thats about it.
like, what the hell is investing? how do people do that? i gamble what little i can on sports and stuff but thats about it.
Learn what it is you're passionate about career wise as early as possible.
Take your time finding the right person.
Take care of your health.
Don't get married and have kids until you're as ready as possible mentally, physically and financially.
Take your time finding the right person.
Take care of your health.
Don't get married and have kids until you're as ready as possible mentally, physically and financially.
this quote really resonated with me. i thought about it all day yesterday.
I'm 24, pushing 25 with the feeling that I've wasted the first half of my 20s and in the fall I'm hoping to move out of the state i've lived in my whole life to move to a new city with hopes that it will change me. But this quote is so true, I'll still be me in a new city.
I should really start going to therapy and working some of my shit out before I move so I can have a chance at actually changing myself there.
i need to travel...i feel like i've never been anywhere...but fear and money stop me. it sucks.
as to the learning thing, i always feel like i was never taught how to learn. there are things i want to try but learning is hard if you don't know how to go about it
have you posted this before in another thread? i feel like i've read this before. regardless, still great advice imo
Patience. It's too easy to compare yourself to what other put out on social media etc. (especially if you are in a creative field). It takes time to master something, don't feel down about not being there today.
On the other hand, be bold and take chances. Nobody is going to do things for you.
I always found networking and mingling to be awkward and a drag, it's too fake for me. Look at it as making new friends instead, don't talk about work, have fun. The bond will be stronger and you'll trust each other more.
Exposure doesn't pay your rent.
In a creative project, the best way to get the best work out of people, is to give them free reigns. They'll feel a greater ownership to the project and push themselves much more. You do need a good environment for it to happen though, so make it a safe space, get rid of energy vampires (in your life too) and trust people.
Forgive yourself.
On the other hand, be bold and take chances. Nobody is going to do things for you.
I always found networking and mingling to be awkward and a drag, it's too fake for me. Look at it as making new friends instead, don't talk about work, have fun. The bond will be stronger and you'll trust each other more.
Exposure doesn't pay your rent.
In a creative project, the best way to get the best work out of people, is to give them free reigns. They'll feel a greater ownership to the project and push themselves much more. You do need a good environment for it to happen though, so make it a safe space, get rid of energy vampires (in your life too) and trust people.
Forgive yourself.
My two things kind of contradict.
1. You don't need another person to go to a movie, restaurant, concert, etc. You can have fun alone.
2. Connections rule the world. Your success is strongly based on who you know. Think smaller though. Not like meeting CEOs or shit like that though, more like knowing a guy with a truck or someone who is great at baking.
1. You don't need another person to go to a movie, restaurant, concert, etc. You can have fun alone.
2. Connections rule the world. Your success is strongly based on who you know. Think smaller though. Not like meeting CEOs or shit like that though, more like knowing a guy with a truck or someone who is great at baking.
Love will not come to you, you must seek it out if you wish to obtain it.
Maldonado don't sleep on continued education: going back to school, earning certifications, etc are all something to do and will help with job hunting.
don't get content with your job:keep that resume up to date and always be loooing for a promotion, transfer or new opportunity.
there is no shame in asking for help.
Maldonado don't sleep on continued education: going back to school, earning certifications, etc are all something to do and will help with job hunting.
don't get content with your job:keep that resume up to date and always be loooing for a promotion, transfer or new opportunity.
there is no shame in asking for help.
That i have the right to live my life however i see fit and that i don't have to give a single fuck about what others think of it as long as i'm not hurting anybody.
Basically, i realised that constantly wondering what others might think of me was wearing me down and that i was better off doing my thing and ignore them. I'm much more happy that way.
Basically, i realised that constantly wondering what others might think of me was wearing me down and that i was better off doing my thing and ignore them. I'm much more happy that way.
One more:
Learn how to RESPOND to situations rather than REACT. If you stop and think before you do or say anything, most of the time, you'll make a good and informed decision. Be objective and rational, and don't act purely on impulse or emotion. It doesn't mean invoking the scientific method for every little situation. Just be mindful of what the consequences will be from everything you do. Look at all matters through the lens of cost and benefit. As I said earlier, everything you do should put yourself in a better position. "Cost" isn't just monetary. It's time, energy, resources or even feelings. If the "cost" is less than the benefit, chances are, you shouldn't invest in that decision.
Learn how to RESPOND to situations rather than REACT. If you stop and think before you do or say anything, most of the time, you'll make a good and informed decision. Be objective and rational, and don't act purely on impulse or emotion. It doesn't mean invoking the scientific method for every little situation. Just be mindful of what the consequences will be from everything you do. Look at all matters through the lens of cost and benefit. As I said earlier, everything you do should put yourself in a better position. "Cost" isn't just monetary. It's time, energy, resources or even feelings. If the "cost" is less than the benefit, chances are, you shouldn't invest in that decision.
This. I'll add it has helped me demystify women and get rid of some latent benevolent sexism (girls are purer than guys etc.).