30+ Era, what's the most important thing you learned in your 20's?

[SolVanderlyn]

My 20's were spent bumbling around trying to figure out who I am.

I think the most important thing I learned is that trying to please everyone and impress people is a fool's errand. Not only is it impossible, it leads to disingenuous relationships with people if you're just trying to placate them all the time.

What about you?

 

[chandoog]

Start saving early.

Helped me be financially stable and independent in the mid/late 20's and has helped a lot in my early 30's so far.

edit: also exercise daily as PatMan mentioned below.

 

[PatMan]

Exercise and eat right. You don't want to enter your thirties with avoidable health issues.

 

[Vilix]

Start investing and saving for the future.

 

[Poppy]

give up early and often

 

[Officer Big Mac]

If they ask you to take your top off get the cash first.

 

[SlightlyLive]

Mental health is important and grief can be coped with. Everything worthwhile requires effort and maintenance.

 

[Nostremitus]

A Roth IRA is an important part of wealth building if you plan to end your career in a higher tax bracket than where you start.

 

[BebopCola]

Don't use a credit card until you're able to pay off purchases to build your credit.

Exercise.

See a therapist and get a psych eval for ADHD/OCD early, or for any other issues you may suspect you have.

 

[Deleted member 4367]

Freely moving around the country to improve your life is a worthwhile risk.

 

[Leona Lewis]

Don't put off things that your body will punish you for later.

 

[Ultimate Bear Cub]

Appreciate the small things, they might not be around for long.

 

[Firewithin]

life sucks

 

[Bigwombat]

Good advice op.

Learning that you'll drift away from people and friends as you get older and families get formed. I'm married with no kids and learning not take things personally is important. You're still friends and even though you might not see people as often it's OK to move on. You can reconnect with them later.... or not but you'll always be able to cherish your memories with them as they are a part of you.

One of my best friends gets so aggravated losing touch with people that it stresses him out and works himself up. You don't always have to be up people's asses.

 

[HououinKyouma]

Freely moving around the country to improve your life is a worthwhile risk.

Click to shrink...

I'm at this crossroad right now (I'm 27). Admittedly, the coronavirus has thrown a wrench into things for the time being.

I just feel like I'm in a perpetual state of apathy so I'm looking for a substantial change to get me out of my comfort zone.

 

[teruterubozu]

Too many useless and nagging existential thoughts in your 20s. So glad that shit is over.

 

[skeptem]

Drink lots of water

Save money and invest it early (chandoog)

Being drunk isn't fun

Confidence can make up for lack of skill.

 

[a916]

Start being comfortable with who you are.

Start saving/investing early.

And something along the lines of, if they're interested, they'll make it known.

 

[ace3skoot]

use angles, give and you will receive....if you don't dump their ass

 

[jon bones]

don't do cocaine

 

[Bosch]

That I should have saved money and not spent a lot on 20s...

 

[SolVanderlyn]

The money posts are making me worried because I didn't do any of that, oops

 

[Lumination]

Be financially literate.

Be yourself. Sounds stupid, but you will never be happy until you can accept yourself. Self-improvement comes after when you can think about what you want to change for yourself and not others.

 

[AliceAmber]

I was pretty much going to post what the OP stated.

To add to this, learning how to say "no" and to listen and acknowledge your own feelings (preferably without drowning them in booze).

 

[Deleted member 6173]

That the world will move on without you.

 

[LtOrange]

To not stress out over what I can't control. My personal and work life have improved ten fold once I stopped stressing out over everything little thing. My boss being snappy with me in an email, the person cutting me off on my morning commute, my friend praising Trump's policies.....non of it was worth giving any of my energy to. I now just focus on the things that I can control and the things that make me happy.

The second big thing I learned was to just enjoy things without looking for social approval. I used to be one of those assholes who would look to movie/tv critics to tell me if I should enjoy something. Most of my favorite movies/tv shows this year were not critical darlings and some of them were even trashed. In my early 20's I would have missed out on most if not all of it.

 

[Acidote]

Eat healthy.
Save when you can.
Do not care about anyone that isn't close to you.

 

[petethepanda]

Don't allow yourself to become complacent if you're unhappy

 

[Deleted member 41178]

Being financial responsible, how to make your money work for you rather than just sitting in a savings account.

 

[Aranjah]

At 29 I learned that 20 wouldn't have been too late to start learning how to do that thing I wanted to do... :/


Other than that, I feel like I kinda coasted through my 20s thanks to a good support structure from my family, and all the hard life lessons everyone else learns in their 20s, while it's stuff that I've heard before and I "know" it, actually knowing it will hit me in my 30s, more painfully.

 

[Deleted member 25606]

Don't hold grudges or resentment. Letting people rent space in your head is a bad idea and will hurt you and it's especially useless since usually they don't waste a thought on you.

Besides even when you really do get revenge, it's usually not that satisfying and even when it is the satisfaction doesn't erase or fix the damage you could have possibly done to yourself (and can be more than mental, that can actually affect your physical health) so at the end of the day it's worthless and really only hurts yourself.

It's amazing how the ability to let go improves your health and stability and leads to a better perspective and attitude also.

And obviously I am not saying ignore everything wrong in the world or quit the good fight at large, but about personal grudges, and in fact because I do let go on personal issues that I have more energy and spirit for the battles that cannot be avoided and need to be fought.

TL;DR : Don't hold grudges or resentment, trust me on this.

 

[shnurgleton]

Do things even if you think you can't do them

 

[Fulminator]

At 29 I learned that 20 wouldn't have been too late to start learning how to do that thing I wanted to do... :/


Other than that, I feel like I kinda coasted through my 20s thanks to a good support structure from my family, and all the hard life lessons everyone else learns in their 20s, while it's stuff that I've heard before and I "know" it, actually knowing it will hit me in my 30s, more painfully.

Click to shrink...

29 isn't too late either

 

[Necron]

• Start saving and/or investing
• Regular exercise
• Eat a balanced diet
• Moderate consumption of alcohol
• Sleep 7-8 hours

Simple to understand, not always simple to live by.

 

[Rad Bandolar]

"No matter where you go, there you are."

This was my quote in my senior high school yearbook, and it wasn't until I was in my late 20s that I truly understood what it meant.

I've lived all over the United States and overseas. Every time I went someplace new, I thought that maybe it would be different or I could remake myself anew. But it never really works out that way, because the only constant is you. You still bring all your behaviors, attitudes, and foibles with you and unless you work to address those things within yourself, the change of scenery and people doesn't matter. Eventually the novelty of a new place wears off and you'll still be you. No matter where you go, there you are.

 

[Lost Lemurian]

Look for a partner that will help you build a life together. I wouldn't be where I am now without mine.

Also, don't pursue a career that you don't have passion for. Either do what you love, or find something tolerable that gives you financial stability.

 

[Fox1304]

Saving money is easier than earning more money.
Don't hoard.
Don't "invest" your energy on people and things that aren't worth it.
Time, energy, money, sleep, attention ... everything is in limited supply. Don't waste any of it.
Don't try to do everything at the same time. Focus is key.

 

[Deleted member 19070]

To have fun and go out and socialize while you are young and you still can. Partying in your 30s is much more difficult to do

 

[Dice]

Don't waste a minute of it. Do the work, take chances, hang with friends (and cut the crappy people out if they're just wasting your time), find love, and love yourself.

 

[Geeko]

I wish I had learned more common sense in my 20s. I was a dumbass who didn't care about my future or my body and that certainly caught up to me quickly in my 30s. I hurt my mentally and financially and spent a good portion of my early 30 digging Out of that hole.

At least now in my mid 30s I have gone back and earned my BA and am in better shape than my entire 20s. I'm married and have a kid that I absolutely adore. My thing missing is a better job which I'm struggling to find at the moment but I suppose I'll get there sooner or later. Thank goodness my BA in business management opens up a few more c doors than had I not earned the degree.

my suggestions for anyone who doesn't wish to struggle like i am/did would be to:

1) Find a solid career. You can always change later but get some work time under your belt.

2) Find some financial stability And save money!

3) mind your health and don't drink too much. That shit will come back and haunt you 10 times worse than had you just been better in your 20s

 

[MechaMarmaset]

In my 20s I learned that life feels a lot easier after college. In my 30s now and it's still a breeze compared to working while getting a CS degree.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Don't waste time and energy pouting about shit and grind your ass off.

 

[SuperHans]

Drink while you still can. Hangovers in your 30s are not worth it.

 

[Deleted member 2145]

don't keep bad friends

save money

life will happen whether you're ready or not, think about your future and what you want for yourself

 

[EarlGreyHot]

I learned my bachelor is worthless

 

[Metalgus]

That grown-ass adults can act like little brats. Before then I wrongly assumed that adults were well-rounded individuals.

 

[Officer Big Mac]

Do things even if you think you can't do them

Click to shrink...

/goes bobbing for french fries in the deep fryer

 

[Rory]

To say no when someone asks for something. Stop trying to please anyone but yourself. Nobody will pay you back for your effort.

Stand up for yourself and speak your mind.

Do not risk your health to please others.

Do not try to fight for your "lawful right" to stay in a company. They dont want you, and honestly: There are others who pay better and have additionally better work circumstances.

 

[Magnus]

I'm a happy well-adjusted guy now, in my mid 30s. The career got established late (only happened a few years ago). 20s were a fucking struggle. The lesson I learned then was:

Nobody's looking out for you except YOU.

 

[ItsTheLittleThings]

Forever is a long time